That didn’t stop her from being incredibly frustrating.
“What do you want to see happen here?” he asked, changing tactics. Hannah was brutally rational at times and he figured the best way to get her to come around to his way of thinking was to allow her to work things out on her own ... with just a little nudge.
“I don’t know.” She held out her hands and shrugged.
“You have to know.”
“Why do I have to know?”
“Because you’re the boss and we need this place to get back to normal.” He didn’t want to come across as cold — the unrest she felt at Becky Gibbons’ death was palpable — but he also didn’t want to let her walk all over him. It wouldn’t be a deliberate choice on her part because she was never cruel, or even tyrannical, but she might carry it out simply because she couldn’t get herself back on track.
“Hannah, people have bills to pay and they rely on Casper Creek to pay them,” he continued, twisting so he could face her. When she didn’t meet his steady gaze, he sighed and gently grabbed her shoulders to nudge her to face him. “I love you.”
She raised her eyes, surprised. “I love you, too.” She meant it with her whole heart.
“I know you’re upset about Becky.”
“She’s dead.”
“She is, but that’s not your fault.”
“It feels like my fault. The reason she gave herself over to Envy in the first place was because she lost hope. Why did she lose hope?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “She lost hope because she was in love with you and you didn’t return the feelings. Why didn’t you return the feelings?”
Before she could answer her own question, he extended his finger to cover her lips. “Don’t blame this on yourself. Is it true that I love you? Absolutely. That’s not why I couldn’t love her, though. I just ... there was nothing between us, no matter how badly she wanted for there to be.
“I’m sorry she’s dead,” he continued, opting for honesty. “It’s not an ideal situation. She did it to herself, though. We’re allowed to live our lives, to fall in love with one another, and start planning for a future. We’re allowed to be happy. Nobody wanted to hurt her. It wasn’t fair for her to try and hold us hostage, though.”
Hannah pursed her lips, debating, and then nodded. “I know you’re right in here.” She tapped the spot above her heart. “I just keep running through these scenarios. My subconscious is convinced there had to be a way to save her.”
“Maybe there was, but we don’t live in an ideal world. We did the very best that we could. She made her own choices. She was willing to give up her soul as a form of payback that wasn’t even earned because nothing was taken from her. Making yourself sick over what happened to her seems like a lot of wasted effort to me.”
Hannah pursed her lips. “Well, when you’re so rational about it, I kind of feel stupid.”
He laughed and leaned in to give her a soft kiss. “I know you’re going to continue struggling a bit. It’s okay. I’ll be here for the duration. I just ... I hate it when you beat yourself up over stuff you can’t control. It doesn’t seem fair.”
“Aren’t you always the one telling me that life isn’t fair?”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Hmm, maybe that was my dad.”
His smile slipped. “I don’t want to be confused for your father. That is creepy and wrong.”
His reaction elicited a genuine laugh. “Oh, I don’t know how I survived before you came into my life.” She impulsively threw her arms around his neck and held tight. “I really do love you.”
He rubbed his hands up and down her back, relishing in her warmth. “I really do love you, too. We still have to make a decision on bartenders.”
“Ugh.” She made a face and pulled back so she could study the résumé again. “Lindy Carter. Does that sound like an evil name to you?”
He chuckled. “No. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything, though.”
“That’s true.” She chewed on her bottom lip to buy herself time. “What sort of name is Lindy anyway? I’ve never heard of it.”
“Maybe it’s a mix between Mindy and Linda.”
“That still doesn’t make it a real name.”
He barked out a laugh, thrilled to see some of the spark back in her eyes. “Maybe you can ask her when she gets here.” He double-checked the clock on the wall. “Which should be any second.”
“Yes, because what I really need now is to conduct another interview,” she said dryly. “I’m pretty sure the last ones sucked my soul.”
“And I think you’re exaggerating.”
“I guess.” She snuggled closer to him. “I know I can’t be the only bartender. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid.” He ran his hand over her hair to smooth it. “You don’t want to be a bartender, though. You want to try other things. You’re stuck right now because you’re the only one who can work behind the bar.”
“I don’t mind it.”
“You hate it.”
“I hate the uniform,” she corrected. “It puts my boobs on display and I don’t like being ogled.”
“I don’t particularly like you being ogled either, but that uniform is a crowd-pleaser for a reason.”
“Yes, men are pigs.”
He laughed and kissed her cheek, holding her tight for another minute before pulling back. “It’s going to be okay,” he reassured her, tilting his head at the telltale sound of footsteps on wood. “I think our interview is here.”
Even though she was perfectly happy pouting, Hannah plastered a smile on her face. It wasn’t this woman’s fault that things had taken such a dark turn in Casper Creek. Well, it wasn’t likely it was her fault. There was always a chance they were dealing with another evil individual.
The woman who stepped through the swinging doors of the saloon had pretty brown hair that looked
