Harper wanted to argue with the sentiment but one look at Zander, who had caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror behind the counter and was busy trying to use his spit to flatten his hair, told her the other woman wasn’t wrong. “Well, thank you for the warning. We’ll be careful. I promise.”
“It don’t matter to me either way. Survive. Die. It’s up to you.”
5
Five
Harper found the grocery offerings paltry, but Jared and Shawn seemed thrilled with what they found, immediately taking the coolers and other food storage items from the back of Jared’s truck and designing a “kitchen” for close to the firepit.
“I’ve come to the conclusion that we’ve fallen in love with the same man,” Zander offered morosely as he settled in one of the canvas chairs they’d parsed out for around the firepit.
Harper tilted her head, considering. Her first instinct had been to deny the statement but upon watching Jared and Shawn work together, it became apparent that Zander might be right. “Wow.”
“Right?” Zander’s eyes flashed. “They’re totally the same ... except Shawn is way hotter.”
Harper shot him a dirty look. “Jared is totally hot.”
“He has nipples the size of saucers.”
“He does not. Stop saying that!” The last part escaped her mouth louder than she intended and the slap she applied to Zander’s knee echoed throughout the campground, earning attention from Shawn and Jared.
“Don’t make us come over there and separate the two of you,” Shawn called out. “If you think you’re chafing under camping restrictions now, think how bad it will be if you don’t have each other to complain to.”
Jared chuckled as Zander shot his fiancé a dirty look.
“We’re not doing anything,” Zander insisted, annoyance bubbling up. “We’re just talking.”
“Right.” Shawn rolled his eyes. “You guys are just talking. You’re totally innocent.”
“We are.” Zander stared down Shawn a moment longer and then lowered his voice. “Not only are they the same — we’re talking emotional clones here if not physical ones because Shawn is ten times hotter — they’re also joining together to work against us.”
Harper recognized Zander’s “conspiracy theory” voice but didn’t call him on it. The truth was, even though she knew her best friend liked to stoke the fires of anarchy when it came to relationships, she was starting to worry he had a legitimate point.
“I think it’s nice,” she said after a beat, forcing herself to look on the bright side of things. “They’re happy together, bonding.”
“That’s not good for us.”
“How do you figure?”
Zander’s eye roll was pronounced. “We’re a team.” He moved his finger between the two of them. “We’ve always been a team. We work together against the evils of the world.”
“Okay.” Harper’s lips quirked. “I still don’t understand what that has to do with this situation.”
“Oh, you’re such a rube.” He flicked her ear, causing her to yelp and Jared’s eyes to narrow. “We’re not doing anything,” Zander repeated, his tone harsh. “Mind your business.”
Jared made a face. “If she makes that noise again, I’m coming over there.”
“Oh, like I’m scared of you.”
“You will be,” Jared promised. “I’m going to wrestle you into the dirt and dump it down your pants.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
Jared stared for a moment longer and then went back to working with Shawn.
“Do you see that?” Zander snapped. “They’re working in tandem with each other. Last time Shawn was the one to admonish us. This time it was Jared. They’re conserving their energy.”
Harper pursed her lips as she watched Shawn and Jared work. They did seem to have a form of shorthand with one another, something she hadn’t noticed before this trip. They complemented each other, worked in tandem, and had an easygoing rapport that was nice to see.
“I think you’re overreacting,” she said. “They’re allowed to be friends. In fact, it’s good for us. Our family is unique, different from other families. That doesn’t mean it’s not as important as the more ‘traditional’ families we see on television.” She used the appropriate air quotes.
“You’re still not getting it,” Zander insisted. “It used to be that we could be ourselves, have a good time, and control them during the process. I mean, think about it.” He was insistent. “Before, it was always us against one of them when an argument sprouted up. Now the battlefield has shifted.”
That wasn’t exactly the way Harper remembered it. “Um ... we’re not at war.”
“Of course we are.” Zander’s snort was disdainful. “We’re totally at war. We’re the good guys and they’re the bad guys. You’re looking at it the wrong way.” He adjusted himself in such a manner that Harper recognized he was going to get down to business.
“Say we’re Spain,” he continued.
“Wait ... why are we Spain?”
“Because it’s a land of hot men and sexy accents.”
“Fair enough. Continue.”
“So, we’re Spain and they’re France and Germany. Just for the record, Jared is France because it’s full of bossy people.”
“Under that rationale, why is Shawn Germany?”
“Because they have good beer and he loves beer.”
“I see you’ve given this some thought.” Harper smiled as she leaned back in her chair and sipped her water. “Continue with your analogy.”
“I would if you would stop interrupting me.” He pinned her with a serious look before continuing. “As Spain, we can easily take Germany if it comes to a fight. We can also take France if it comes to a fight.”
“I don’t particularly remember Spain winning a lot of wars,” Harper pointed out.
“That’s not the point.” Zander snapped his fingers loudly to draw her attention. “Keep up.”
Shawn cleared his throat. “What are you guys talking about?”
“We’re not doing anything,” Zander snapped, jabbing a finger toward his fiancé. “Mind your business.” His eyes never wandered from Harper’s face. “The point is that we can take France and we can take Germany, but the odds of us taking France and Germany at the same time are long.”
Despite the convoluted path he took, Harper found herself
