Leslie drew her eyebrows together in concentration. “I don’t know,” she admitted after a beat. “It’s like I’ve lived two lives and they only vaguely overlap. I’m not sure.”
“You can remember your other life, though,” Harper prodded. “You know what it felt like to be alive, and you know how things are different now. What can you tell me about being alive?”
Leslie moved her lips but didn’t immediately respond. Finally, she made a small noise in the back of her throat. “Sam bought us this trip. He insisted it would be a good way for us to remember how it was when we were friends.”
Harper nodded in understanding. “He’s gay.”
Leslie made a sniffling sound. “I don’t understand that. We were married for a long time. He can’t be gay. He’s just making that up because he wants to garner sympathy. He thinks if he pretends to be gay I won’t go after my fair share in the divorce.”
Harper hesitated, glancing at Jared for a beat before shaking her head. “I don’t think that’s true, Leslie. While I don’t appreciate Sam’s attitude on a lot of things — he’s kind of a dill weed if you ask me — I think he genuinely wanted to protect you to the best of his ability. I don’t believe he wants to hurt you.”
“Well, he did.”
“He knows that. He seems sorry for it, too. The whole thing is ... a terrible tragedy. He blames himself for suggesting this trip.”
“That’s because I’m dead,” Leslie snapped, anger flashing hot and fast. “I’m dead, and he’s now free to do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants. I bet, if you check in on him in six months, he’ll have moved some pretty young thing into my house, and he’ll suddenly be straight again.”
She was bitter, Harper realized, so angry she could barely see straight. She couldn’t really blame her. What happened to Leslie was unconscionable. Unfortunately, she didn’t really see Sam as the bad guy in the equation either. He hadn’t even realized he was gay until late in their marriage. Until then, he was apparently a decent, if lazy, husband.
“I think otherwise, but that doesn’t really matter,” Harper argued. “Although ... do you think Sam killed you?” She felt the need to ask the question. “I’m not leaning in his direction right now but I’ve been wrong before.”
“I definitely think he killed me,” Leslie shot back.
Harper was taken aback. “Really?”
“Yes.”
Harper studied the ghost for an extended beat. “Are you just saying that to get back at him?”
“No. Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re angry at Sam, and you have a right to be.” Harper’s tone softened. “Sam pledged to love and cherish you forever. The thing is, I believe he still loves you. It’s not in the way you want, but he did arrange this trip so you guys could rediscover your roots as friends. A person who doesn’t care wouldn’t do anything of the sort.”
“That’s all well and good, but he was a dink the moment we landed,” Leslie fired back. “He gave me nothing but grief because he hates camping. Why make this the trip where we’re supposed to remember we’re friends if he hates it?”
“Probably because he knew you would love it,” Harper replied simply. “I don’t think he meant to be a dink. I think he just couldn’t help himself. If it’s any consolation, I guarantee he wants to take it back.”
“Take what back?”
“His attitude, probably this trip.”
“But not telling me he wants a divorce.”
“No.” Harper had to tamp down her sympathy because it was threatening to overwhelm her. “He can’t change who he is. Trust me. I know a little something about that. He didn’t want to hurt you. It happened, though. Do you want to change your statement about him potentially being your killer?”
“I guess.” Leslie didn’t look thrilled with the prospect. “He wouldn’t have killed me. He was fine torturing me emotionally. Physically, though? He doesn’t have the stomach for it. That’s not who he is.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Leslie’s annoyance roared back. “I can’t help you. I didn’t remember what happened to me. Why are you thanking me?”
“Because you’re trying. I know you’ll keep trying. Together we can figure this out. You just have to open yourself up to the process.”
“You sound sure of yourself.”
“I’ve done this once or twice.”
For the first time, Leslie mustered a smile. “You hang around with ghosts often, do you?”
“More often than you could probably imagine.”
This time when she nodded, it was with weary acceptance. “Okay. I’ll do what I can. I can’t promise anything, though.”
“That’s all I ask.”
HARPER WAITED IN THE CLEARING ANOTHER thirty minutes and then rejoined her friends.
“I take it Leslie wasn’t exactly open to your suggestion,” Jared said as he tugged her to him. “I’m sorry. You were really calm when you were talking to her.”
“She came around near the end. She said she would try to remember what happened.”
“Do you think she’ll be able to?”
“Maybe. She’s really upset about Sam, like ... really upset. I think that she’s more upset that she didn’t see the truth about Sam more than anything else, though.”
Jared’s fingers were gentle as they brushed her hair away from her face. “Do you think she somehow blames herself?”
“For Sam being gay? No. I think she feels like an idiot for not seeing it. I guess I don’t blame her.” Harper tilted up her chin and managed a smile. “It’s not about him being gay as much as it’s about missing such a big part of who he really was. I don’t think she believed her marriage was without fault. I do believe she thought it was something they would both simply accept and deal with forever.”
“That sounds like a sad way to live,” Jared noted.
