Jack frowned as he followed her, hating that he couldn’t stop watching as she unsnapped her pants and let them fall to the floor, revealing a pair of black panties that caused his heart to speed up. “I … .”
“Go and do what you want to do, Jack,” Ivy mumbled, climbing under the covers. “Do what’s right for you. You don’t care about what’s right for me. You’ve made that obvious.”
“That is not true. Stop saying that.” Jack was flustered. “I … we’re not done talking, Ivy. You’re in danger.”
“I’m done talking,” Ivy said, her eyes heavy as she closed them. “I just want my heart to stop hurting.”
Jack fought back tears at the words even as he worked to tamp down his irritation. He moved to Ivy’s side. “We need to finish this conversation.”
Ivy didn’t answer, her breathing already steady as she slipped off into dreamland.
“Ivy?”
She didn’t answer.
Jack didn’t know what to do. He was nowhere near done talking to her. They had to come up with a plan to keep her safe until he could figure out who was after him. For lack of a better idea, Jack removed his shoes and climbed into bed next to her. His initial plan was to remain on top of the covers, but the second he felt her body turn in his direction he gave in to what his heart wanted and slid underneath them.
Ivy’s body was warm as she rested her head against his shoulder, making a soft murmuring sound as she slumbered. Jack slipped his arm under her waist and pulled her against him, almost crying out because she felt so good in his arms.
“I’m only doing this because we still need to talk and I’m exhausted, too,” Jack said, although he knew Ivy was beyond hearing him. “I’m not doing this for any other reason.”
Even Jack didn’t believe it. He smoothed her hair down and rested his cheek against her forehead. “You’re killing me. I can’t be responsible for killing you, though.”
Jack held up a one-sided conversation for a few more minutes, but Ivy’s mere presence was enough solace to relax him. Before he knew it, the storm raged outside as peace found him inside.
His last thought was of her anguished face before sleep claimed him.
Nine
Jack woke slowly, sleep trying to drag him back down even as he fought to get his bearings. Ivy’s bedroom was mostly dark, only a thin sliver of light filtering in as the sun finished its descent into the horizon outside. He was in exactly the same spot as when he fell asleep, Ivy clutched against his chest.
She was still out, her face placid and angelic in sleep. He traced the line of her cheek as he watched her. He couldn’t stand being away from her. He hated it. He’d hurt and disappointed her, and then the moment she was too weak to stop him he’d climbed into her bed so he could take comfort in her even though it was the last thing she wanted.
That didn’t seem fair.
Jack knew she was going to be an unholy terror when she woke and found him holding her. That didn’t stop him from doing it. Instead he spent the next twenty minutes running his finger over every inch of her face, touching her lips and smoothing her eyebrows. He wanted to memorize every inch of her, because he was pretty sure he’d never be this close to happiness again.
That thought was enough to fill Jack with insurmountable dread. He’d only known her a few weeks and yet the thought of letting her go paralyzed him. How was he supposed to do this?
Suddenly Jack realized he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look her in the eye and walk away. He wasn’t capable of physically doing it. He would crumble, and if he crumbled and followed his heart her life would be in danger. He couldn’t do that.
Jack pressed a soft kiss to Ivy’s forehead. “You’ll never know how sorry I am. I can’t let you die, though.” His voice was barely a whisper.
He was careful as he slipped his arm from beneath her, lowering her head to the pillow so she wouldn’t stir. He tucked the blankets in close, slipping her feet – which always ended up peeking out from underneath the covers as she slept – back beneath the sheet.
He’d leave her a note. He told himself that was the best thing to do even as his heart fractured. He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Not again. She would break if he did anything of the sort, and he couldn’t stand the thought of that.
He searched the end of the bed for his shoes, holding them in his hand as he studied her still silhouette. He would give anything in the world to crawl back in that bed with her and fix things. He knew that wasn’t going to be an option. He kept telling himself that he would apologize when it was all said and done. He would win her back then. Deep down he knew it would never be the same because he’d already lost her trust.
Jack exhaled heavily and turned to the door, his fingers wrapping around the handle as his heart urged him to look at her one more time. Jack impulsively turned back to find Ivy sitting up in bed, her eyes glittering with unspoken accusation as they met his across the room.
“Oh, honey … .”
IVY didn’t know who she was more furious with, Jack or herself. She woke from her heavy sleep – realizing she hadn’t dreamed for the first time in weeks – to find Jack slinking out of her bedroom.
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Ivy, I was going to leave a note on your counter,” Jack offered,
