Chapter 4
The walk back to the camp felt long, but everyone is still there, fortunately. Valeria is sitting on the ground with a large backpack leaning up against her. She has her eyes closed and is rubbing her temples. Jayden is nearby stuffing a sleeping bag into his backpack. Three other people I don’t recognize are in various stages of packing up.
I walk over to Valeria and sit down next to her.
Jayden looks over at me with a smirk. “Minus one friend, huh?”
A tall, chubby black boy near him snickers as he stuffs snack wrappers into his pack. “Nice one.”
His voice sounds familiar, like the one I heard last night right before I passed out. Jayden mentioned he was out hunting with someone named Tam when they sensed me. Maybe he’s Tam.
“Let’s head out in five, okay? Make sure you’re all ready by then,” Valeria says in a loud, authoritative voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” the others chorus.
“Are you in charge here?” I ask as the others seem to forget about me and continue packing up at a faster pace.
“I’m just one of the team leaders,” she says with a shrug. She’s stopped rubbing her temples but her eyes are still closed.
I lean in a bit and say in a low voice, “You know what my power is, don’t you?”
She nods twice.
“Are you telepathic?” I ask.
She laughs dryly. “I wish it were that simple.”
“Well, maybe since you already know mine, you could tell me yours?”
She opens her eyes and glances at me, then looks off far in the distance in front of her. “I understand why you don’t want to tell anyone, Chrys. It’s because you fear that if they know, they’ll think of you differently, right? Well it’s the same for me. Once you find out, you’ll become extremely uncomfortable being around me, and I’d rather that not happen.”
I hug my knees to my chest, but still keep my gaze on her. There’s something about her that makes it hard for me to look away, especially when she isn’t looking into my eyes with that knowing gaze. Maybe it’s because she displays her emotions so clearly with her face and body. Her drooping shoulders, her arms limp at her sides, her furrowed brows and jaws that look as though they’re in a perpetual sigh. I wonder if she lets the world see her like that because she has no control over it, or because she just doesn’t care.
“So you feel uncomfortable being around me?” I say.
“No.” She shakes her head. “No.”
“But you think that if I found out what your power is, that I’d be uncomfortable? I don’t have the right to judge anyone.”
“You’d pretend like you’re fine with it but deep down it’d make you uncomfortable. Just like how at the surface level, I’m fine with yours but at a deeper level, I’m honestly a bit scared. Just can’t help it, you know? Given what you can do.”
I let that sink in. On the one hand, what she’s saying is perfectly reasonable. Being a little scared makes sense. My brain knows that logically. But on the other hand, the darkest depths of my thoughts sneer and snap at me.
See? It’s true. You’re a monster.
I close my eyes, spiraling down quickly, deep into that heavy darkness.
I take a deep breath.
No. I’m not. I love myself…
Then as I release that breath, I move my thoughts to the feeling of the gravel and dirt I’m sitting on and the close presence of Valeria next to me and the tingling behind my neck. People like me. So many people like me, so close.
I open my eyes. Valeria is looking at me.
“I’ll give you a hint,” she says. “You’re not that far off. It’s kind of like telepathy, but so much more. Most people’s gifts are focused through their hands or thoughts, but mine is focused through my eyes. When my eyes are open, it’s like chaos and noise pummeling me from every direction. But when I close my eyes,” she closes her eyes and her face softens a bit, “I can get a moment of relief. The noise is still there, swimming around in my head, but it’s just a little quieter, you know? I can hear my own thoughts. Just barely.”
“So what if you were blind?” I ask.
“Then I suspect my gift wouldn’t really work anymore. Of course, I’d still have all that old noise in my head, but I wouldn’t be able to get any new noise…”
“You think about that a lot, don’t you?”
She smiles, a kind of sad yet also somehow kind of happy smile. “When I can hear myself, yeah.”
Then she opens her eyes and stands up. “Alright everyone,” she projects. “Let’s get moving.”
I look over. Everyone is just about finished. Some are zipping up their packs. Others are putting their packs on.
Valeria bends over and hauls her pack up and onto her back. As she fastens the buckles and tightens the straps, she says, “You know, I’ve never told anyone that before, so uh, thanks for listening I guess.”
“Oh, sure. Anytime.”
She reaches her hand out to me. I stare at it dumbly. She knows what my power is, knows how it happens, yet she still risks offering me her hand? How can she do that?
“It-it’s fine,” I say. “I can get up myself.”
She nods, lowering her hand back to her side. I push myself off the ground and dust the dirt off my pants.
Everyone else has their packs on now.
“Single file,” Valeria says.
The others fall in line behind her, so I make my way to the back of the line, behind the boy I suspect is Tam.
We head deeper into the forest.
Three hours of walking. I’m not even carrying anything but I’m exhausted. The others look fine, though, chatting and laughing quietly in front of me. Tam—I can now say
