I can’t say I’ve had many moms pay for their son to get matched, but there have been a few. I’ve been doing this job for five years now, and I’ve seen all sorts of stuff in that time. This isn’t exactly what I thought I’d be doing when I grew up, but hey. It’s a job. I actually get paid pretty decent with an hourly wage, and I also get huge bonuses now and then, when my boss feels like there’s a real incentive for success.
As if the guy thinks I don’t try hard on every case. I guess there are just some that are more sensitive than others. Time-sensitive. Reputation-sensitive. All over sensitive. This is one of those. I have a feeling that Sue-Anne Marshall is going to be very disappointed if my three picks don’t work out.
I’m hoping to get a match with number one. I always hope for that, but my boss made it EXCEPTIONALLY clear that in this case, the three-strike thing isn’t really an option. I mean, it is, but it’s also not. He’d like a 100% success rate on the first try.
Which is why I’m currently snatching up a fresh notepad, a pen, and my phone. I stuff them into my already overflowing tote bag before I throw on my vintage black velvet jacket. It’s pretty, with beautiful lapels, a narrow waist, and a huge flare with pleats. It’s fun, and I like fun. I also like to look dressy and professional, but not in that office-y kind of way I’ve always secretly detested. I adore retro. I swear half my paycheck goes to my rent and bills, and the other half goes to retro clothes and shoes. I’m a big thrifter, but I’m also guilty of following WAY too many retro shops on just about every social media site I’m on. I’m also kind of addicted to all the little retro boutiques that pop up all over the place. Whenever I travel, I have to go treasure hunting.
Oh well. At least I have a rockin’ closet. Like a really huge rockin’ closet.
Which will be difficult to keep affording if I screw up this job.
I throw my tote on my shoulder and head out the front door. I picked a classy coffee shop that is just twelve blocks from the office. Far enough away to be discreet but close enough for me to walk, which is a huge bonus, because I don’t have a car.
The day is surprisingly nice for May. Minnesota winters can be really cold and can last well into the time of year that is supposed to be spring, but this year, all the snow has long since melted, and the sun promises warmer days ahead. I actually feel a little bit hot under my coat. I tell myself I’m sweating because of the internal climate going down on the underside of my sweet retro vibe, but really, I know I’m sweating for an entirely different reason.
Instead of thinking about my chances of failure—which are probably pretty high because I’m already certain that finding Cliff Marshall a match is not going to be an easy task—I try and focus on my chances of success.
I have a good track record.
I used to play this game as a kid, where I couldn’t step on the cracks in the sidewalk because it was bad luck. I’m not a superstitious person, but today I focus on dodging the cracks all the way to the coffee shop just to keep my mind occupied.
I reach the shop with a good fifteen minutes to spare. I have a picture of Cliff Marshall, provided by his mom, but I also looked the guy up online. Of course I did. To be fair, I generally do this with all my clients. A discreet search helps me determine what kind of image they’re putting out there. Potential dates are going to use search engines and social media. They’re going to check what kind of vibe a guy or gal has. I do a pretty thorough search, and I have even made some subtle suggestions in the past about cleaning up the old online presence before dates go down.
Cliff Marshall is squeaky clean. He doesn’t have any social media account that I could find, and any articles about him are related solely to his parent’s company. I don’t really understand everything they do, but I do know it’s about gardening and seeds and stuff.
I pull open the door to the coffee shop, which actually isn’t just a coffee shop. I call it a coffee shop, but it’s also my secret sweet spot as far as it goes for the best places to eat in the city. I wine and dine a lot of clients here, and by wine and dine, I mean fabulous coffee drinks and even better homemade desserts. They also have a selection of soups and salads that are fabulous. I suppose they could be classified as a restaurant of sorts, but I call them a coffee shop for the out-of-this-world drinks that get made here.
The first thing I notice when I walk in is that Cliff is already sitting at a table. He beat me here, and I’m fifteen minutes early. I’m always early so that I get to see my clients walk in. I like observing them for those first few seconds of unguarded time.
The second thing I notice is that the guy is way bigger in real life than he is in his photo. I mean in the jacked body, deliciously broad shoulders, narrow waist, epic muscled arms kind of way. Yeah, he’s better looking than his photo too, but I’m just observing that on a professional level, of course.
The third and probably most important detail I take in is the massive scowl he has on his face. His mom
