“I didn’t plan on this…” I stroke her chin, trying to ease some of her annoyance at getting her chin bashed.
“So, you’re suddenly going to act all chivalrous?”
“I said I’d sleep on the floor. And that we’d maintain the pillow wall. If you want this, then you should…well, you should really want it.”
“Thanks for the warning. You don’t think I subtly picked that up just now?”
“If you don’t want it, you should hate talking to me and let me know how much you truly despise me. I’ll go have a shower, then I’ll sit in that chair over there and stare out the window for the rest of the night, and in the morning, we’ll be done with each other.”
“Other than having to see each other every single day at work.”
“I suppose, but you’ll have a nice big raise to make dealing with me bearable.”
“I—I can’t think of anything. You’re putting me on the spot again. I swear you secretly like it. It’s like a new form of dirty talk to you.” There’s a flash in her eyes like she’s got me figured out.
“What if I did?”
“Then I guess it would defeat the purpose of using it as a turnoff.”
“I just want you to be sure. I didn’t plan for this. I didn’t bring anything with me. Are you on the pill?”
Sutton sucks her lower lip into her mouth and worries it unconsciously. “Not really. I mean, I had a shot, but it was seven months ago. And they only last for six. I meant to make an appointment to get it done, but I kept forgetting. And I wasn’t having sex with anyone, so it wasn’t a real pressing need on my mind.”
I can’t pretend I’m not ridiculously pleased with that. The part about her not having sex with anyone, because if there was anyone, I feel like I’d have this insane urge to tear them limb from limb.
“So, we’re not doing this. Not that at any rate.”
“I…you could always pull out.”
I startle at her words, and Sutton’s eyes widen. We stare each other down. “That’s a terrible idea. Obviously! Your grandma was right. That is how babies are made.”
“Okay, so we don’t have to do that. We can just make out and grope each other with our mouths and hands and call it a night.”
“Argh!” I have to pace. There isn’t any other option to release some of the pent up tension within me. “Why would you say that?”
“You’re the one who started this. You were the one who made me stay the night.”
“Yes, I made you do it.”
“You were the one who woke up and was all sad, and you were sad as well down there at the wedding, and you’re the one to blame because your tongue and mouth are way too talented, and how is it my fault I can’t forget the incident that never actually happened!”
“No! You’re not supposed to say things like that. You’re supposed to say you’d rather stick your vagina into a garburator than have sex with me. You’re supposed to say if I stuck my dick into a garburator, it would be so small that there’d be no danger in losing anything. You’re supposed to tell me I smell like rotting garbage and taste like a toad if you licked one. You’re supposed to say my dick probably has warts and is so ugly that it would make you scream in terror and run away, and you’d have to go to therapy after because it would literally haunt you. You’re not supposed to tell me to freaking pull out!”
“You could at least look at me while you insult yourself,” Sutton says in measured tones.
I spin around to find her with her arms crossed. She doesn’t look pissed off though. She actually looks amused. She’s not even making an attempt to hide it.
“If you’re finished, I’d like to say that if you want to have a shower and cool off, I’ll call for a taxi, and I’ll be gone by the time you get out.”
“It’s the middle of the night.”
“I’m sure I can find something.”
“And if I don’t want to have a shower?”
She doesn’t even blink, and there is no hesitation. “Then we should get naked and take advantage of the Jacuzzi. They probably drain it to clean it up after every guest. It would be a terrible waste not to use it.”
“So, this is a purely economic decision.”
“Yes. Purely.”
“And kissing me earlier? Was that because you felt sorry for me?”
“Yes. Obviously.”
We stand there staring each other down. Neither of us makes a move until I do. I figure enough is enough. I don’t want Sutton to leave, and maybe wasting all that water really is a shitty thing to do. I flinch first in this un-staring staring contest. I tuck my fingers under the damp hem of my t-shirt and slowly roll it up my chest. I yank it over my head with some difficulty because it’s wet, and then I let it drop with a squishy plop to the floor.
Sutton’s eyes graze my chest hungrily. “Biscuits and butter,” she mutters. “Do you have to be so damn chiseled? What’s wrong with you? How many times do you work out a week?”
“I think you mean per day.”
“You work out multiple times per day?”
“Sometimes. It’s a good stress reliever.”
“I already know you eat disgustingly healthy too. You shouldn’t do that. It’s a
