“You and Katie?”
“Yeah.”
“With me as the third wheel?”
“Sisters aren’t a third wheel. It’s a rule.”
“Since when?”
“Since I’m asking you.”
“I’ll think about it.” she said without any excitement inside of her.
There were memories from the last festival she’d gone to that were still too hard to think about. Dr. Matthews would probably insist that going was the right thing to do. Face your fears. Meet them head on. And heal.
The memories of what happened during the festival were not what Julie needed to heal from. She’d gone with Hunter and they’d conceived their child that night. She didn’t expect Caleb to understand the scope of that, especially since she hadn’t confided in him about everything yet. And he’d been patient. He wasn’t pushing as she suspected Hunter would if he had her in a closed room.
“Okay, I’ll tell Katie. Call me if you need anything. Oh, and I had a spare key made for the door. It’s on the table next to the mail.”
“Get out of here already. Katie is going to blame me for you being late.”
Julie said goodbye to Caleb and squashed down the envy she felt for what he shared with Katie. She couldn’t complain. She had picked herself up and made a life for herself even though it hadn’t been the life she’d dreamed of when she was a teenager. Those dreams seemed so far away now.
She didn’t have a whole lot of close friends though. Moving around, working new jobs every six months, and living that nomadic lifestyle had been what her therapist had called self-medicating. As soon as she got comfortable with people, she left. But it had also been destructive. It was safe, and rather than risk any sort of intimacy of any kind, Julie had resorted to having no intimacy at all. Not even with her female friends she’d made.
She waited until she heard the kitchen door close to get up and find that mysterious piece of mail Caleb had told her about. Maybe it was Sweepstakes Clearing House telling her that she had hit the jackpot and won a million dollars.
She laughed as she padded her way to the kitchen. How many times had someone come into the casino with stars in their eyes hoping to win a big jackpot? Too many times for Julie to count. The smiling faces she always saw as people came into the casino didn’t match the disappointed faces she’d see when they came to the bar to have a drink and drown themselves in their disappointments. They’d end up telling Julie their life stories. Julie would listen while she worked because she’d learned early on that even though she didn’t like to talk about her life, other people did. Their woes seemed so much easier to listen to than the voices in her head telling her she’d failed.
When Julie had first started working at the casino, she’d talked to Dr. Matthews about it. Dr. Matthews insisted that listening to other people’s problems had forced Julie to push away her own problems. It was easier not to confront the wound inside her when some other people were hurting, even if the things they were hurting about seemed trivial to Julie.
She rummaged through the stack of mail on the table. There were three pieces of mail with Caleb’s name on it. One looked like a utility bill. The other looked like a notice from the police department union. The last was a flyer from a local gym offering memberships for half off for the first six months. Julie read the front and back and considered looking into that later. Then she found an envelope with her name on it that looked like a birthday card. How odd.
It was probably from her mother. She was the only one who knew Julie had moved in with Caleb. If Julie knew her mother, and she did, her mom was probably sending ten years’ worth of birthday cards in one shot to make up for all the time they’d missed.
She grabbed the envelope from the table and sure enough, her name was on it. But it wasn’t from her mother. It was from Edmund, Margaret’s son.
Her interest now piqued in a different way, she ripped open the envelope and found a beautiful card with a Montana mountain scene. Wildflowers were scattered throughout the picture of a meadow. Margaret loved wild flowers and had probably picked out this card, Julie thought as she looked at all the details. She couldn’t imagine Edmund buying it himself.
She opened the card and began to read. As soon as she did, her stomach clenched.
It is with great sadness that I tell you that soon after you moved from my mother’s house she died peacefully in her sleep. You were a great joy to her. In the years since I moved away, there had been several women who’d boarded in my mother’s house. None were as compatible with my mother as you were. She spoke of you often and with affection. There was something about your relationship that she enjoyed and I want to thank you for giving her last months on this earth happiness and joy.
I tried to phone you the day she died, but couldn’t reach you. I will try again as soon as arrangements have been made for her funeral.
A tear rolled down Julie’s cheek. It felt as heavy as her heart did with this terrible news. She didn’t bother to swipe away. She didn’t bother to pretend that she wasn’t hurting. She’d learned that much over the years. But she couldn’t help but think that her leaving had somehow accelerated Margaret’s death.
What had happened? Julie had only been gone a few days! Margaret was old and yes, she was frail, but she had no indication that her health was so bad that she’d die.
Her mind was playing tricks
