Harper glanced at the clock on the stove. Her grandmother would be at bingo for at least an hour and a half after she finished dining out with Lucy. Based on when they’d left, that didn't give her a whole lot of time to be with Nash. But it was something.
She had no idea what she was doing. Why had she invited him here? She had dated some, but with working and taking care of her grandmother, it was hard to maintain any type a romantic relationship. And he’d seemed so odd at the grocery store. It was like all the magic they’d shared up at the cabin had disappeared. Except in his eyes. Harper could see he was holding back. She just didn’t know why.
Lights from outside bent across the wall as a vehicle pulled into the driveway.
Her heart pumped in her chest as it always did the moment she saw Nash. Trying to act normal as if she hadn't been busy working in the kitchen for the last twenty minutes, she checked the oven to make sure dinner wasn't burning, and then pulled the bottle of wine out of the refrigerator and placed it on the counter next to the glasses. That should give him plenty of time to get to her front door without her hovering next to the window waiting for him.
She was a grown woman. It wasn't as if she’d never dated before. She'd just never met a man like Nash.
The doorbell rang and her heart leaped.
“You really are pathetic, Harper,” she said to herself.
She answered the door and Nash came in holding a small bouquet of flowers.
“You mentioned spring flowers,” he said, handing them to her.
“Actually, you were the one who mentioned them. I just love them. Thank you.”
He stood by the door and looked around.
“Come in. You don’t have to stand in the doorway. Dinner is almost done.”
He followed her into the kitchen and stood by the table while she found a vase to put the flowers in. Once she filled the vase with water, she stuck the flowers inside and placed the vase in the center of the table.
“I won’t be staying.”
Harper wasn’t sure she’d heard him right.
“What did you say?”
He took a deep breath. “This was bad idea. I shouldn't have come here.”
Harpers stomach dropped. Not because she had a party size lasagna in the oven. He was threating to leave before they’d even said anything to each other. She was suddenly sick with the idea that he'd leave and they wouldn't even have a chance to say all the things she’d rehearsed in her head all day.
“Is something wrong?”
He shook his head. “I came here to tell you that it's probably best that we don't see each other.”
“Excuse me?”
“I mean, socially. I know this potluck thing the town does is big deal and I don't expect you to ignore me if you see me in town. That's not what I'm saying. You know what I'm talking about.”
She licked her lips and thought about her words carefully as she stood there. “I sure hope so. You're running away.”
He straightened his back “If you want to think of it that way.”
“Isn't that what you're doing?”
“I’m trying to be honest. I was not prepared for what happened up at the cabin. I wasn’t prepared for you. Neither one of us was thinking straight. It's a common thing, you know, when you go through something like we did together.”
“You mean like almost dying?”
He nodded.
“Some people feel thankful that they lived.”
He shrugged. “That's not what I'm saying either.”
“What are you saying? Because it sure does feel like you're running away from talking to me or facing what happened between us instead of meeting it head on.”
He sighed. “I'm not what you think I am. “
She crossed her hands in front of her chest. “Enlighten me. Because the person I met and spent all that time with was pretty amazing. To me anyway. I’ve met a whole lot of great people in my life. I'm lucky that way. But you…”
“See, that's what I mean. You think I can give you something that I can't give you.”
“Oh? And what is that?”
“A relationship. A real one where a woman cooks dinner and the man comes home from work and they live a normal life. That's not me. It never will be me.”
“Is that what you think I expect?”
“I don't know. I don't know you well enough, to be honest.”
“Well, we agree on that one. But instead of running away, I was hoping we could get to know each other better.”
“These things don't work for me. I don't expect you to understand.”
She released her arms and they fell by her side. “Look, let's just have dinner and talk. At the very least, it's a thank you for saving my life.”
“I can't.”
“Why not? You just going to leave it like this? Without talking about anything or getting…”
“Closure? There is no closure to this.”
She chuckled without any humor. “What you talking about? You want to leave it like that? Me being picked up by a police cruiser as if I were a stray dog who happened on your property? You just turning around and heading back up that mountain? I don't believe for one minute that you're going to go to that town potluck. I think you're afraid. I think you’re up at that cabin hiding. What kind of life is that?”
“The life I want. I have my reasons and I don't expect you to understand them.”
“You're right. I don't understand them. But I wish you'd at least give me a chance to understand.”
“Harper if I stay…”
“What?”
His eyes grew dark and she could see the rise and fall of his chest as it stretched the fabric of his shirt beneath his jacket with each intake of breath.
“Because if I stay, I’ll want to kiss you again. And I don't think that that's a good idea.”
“Really? I think it’s a pretty good
