“It's a foil pan. We can set it on the wood stove for a little bit to heat up.”
“I'm sure it's fine. I turned the stove off this morning because it was going to be a nice day. I don't mind the house being cool.”
“You were so diligent about keeping the stove going when I was here.”
“That’s because you were here.”
She didn’t know what to say. He could be so sweet sometimes. And then he drove her crazy.
“Now that the solar panels are working, you can use the oven.”
He kept the foil on the tray, popped it into the oven and then he turned it on. It was going to take a few minutes for the oven to heat up. So Harper just stood there and watched. Nash turned and looked at her as if confused.
“Why don’t we sit down? That might take a while.”
She walked over to the sofa and sat down. “I reheated it before I left to come here.” Lame conversation. She hated small talk. This was getting old and was just avoiding the very thing that she'd come here for. Except she still didn't know exactly why she was here.
Oh yes, he said she hadn't understood him.
“Why am I here?” she asked as he joined her on the sofa.
His eyes bore into her. “You're the one that brought me the lasagna.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Don't play with me. You know why I'm here. You all but invited me to come talk to you. You said so yourself. You wanted to have coffee or ice cream. Well, I brought reheated lasagna. So I am asking you, why am I here? What is it that I don't understand? Because to be honest with you, I thought your words about not wanting to see me made things pretty clear.”
“I'm a coward.”
She sputtered. “You’re what?”
He shifted uncomfortably in the seat. She wasn't sure if it was because she'd laughed at him or his admission hit some sort of a nerve inside of him.
“I told you I don't do this well. In fact, I really don't do this at all.”
“You said that.”
He stared at her for a few seconds. “But I didn't tell you why. I suppose I owe you that.”
She lifted her hands and tried to wave them off. “You don't owe me anything. You saved my life and gave me shelter during the storm.” Then she laughed. “That sounds like some kind of rock and roll song from the radio. But it's true. You don't own me anything.”
“I was married once.”
Her eyes widened with his abrupt admission. The entire time they'd been together, he had never mentioned anything about a wife. Wait, he said once. That meant he was no longer married.
It wasn’t an extraordinary admission. She knew lots of people that she had graduated with who had already married and divorced. Katie Dobbs was one, but she had since found love and happiness with Caleb. It wasn't something shocking. It happened. Not every relationship was meant to be a forever relationship.
“You never mentioned being married before. Is that what makes you gun-shy about wanting to have a relationship with me?”
There was no room for beating around the bush. It was important to get everything on the table. She wasn't going to lay awake in bed at night and roll over every conversation, every look, and the few caresses and embraces she'd shared with Nash Webber. If this was going to be closure for them, then they needed to get to it. She wasn't going to drag this out and torture herself any longer than she had to.
“Carol died.”
Harper’s heart sank in her chest. She resisted the urge to reach out to him. She wasn't sure it would be welcome given how much he’d held back recently. “I'm so sorry. Was she sick?”
She'd question asking him even that. Clearly admitting that he'd been married and that his wife had died was something that was still painful given the stark look on his face.
He shook his head. “I don't think Carol had been sick a day in her life. She had incredibly good health. She reminded me of that all the time.”
“How long were you together?”
“About two years total. We'd met on a project we did together overseas. Given where we were and how remote it was, we honestly spent all our time together. The project lasted three months and by the time it was over, we were married. A whirlwind relationship is what I've heard people say, if you believe in those things.”
“You don't?”
He shrugged. “I loved her. When you know, you know. It's as simple as that.”
Harper thought about her grandmother and those words seemed like something she would say to Harper now. It was if she was saying them that day in the kitchen when the heart hurts, it hurts. It doesn't put a qualifier on it.
It was clear that Nash was still hurting now.
“How long has it been since she died?”
“Almost two years. It's hard to believe that she came and left my life so quickly. It seemed like she was so much a part of my life that it's always been hard to imagine my life without her. Until now.”
His words and their meaning were not lost on her. She hadn't imagined it. He did care for her. It wasn't just some random thing that they'd shared.
“Do you want to tell me what happened? You don't have to talk about it if it’s too painful.”
“It will always be painful. Because it was my fault.”
Sweet Montana Rescue: Chapter Twelve
“I don't understand. Were you in a car accident?”
He shook his head. “We were out in the field. It was one of those wonderful days when the sun was shining bright after a heavy rain, and green was just beginning to explode everywhere around us. It's was a great day for a hike. Or so we thought.
“It would be easy to say that it was an accident, that it was something that could've been
