‘Do you want me to set my alarm to wake you?’ she offered, trying not to let her disappointment show as she pushed herself up to her feet.
‘No, it’s OK, I’ll set my phone alarm,’ he said, also standing.
Suzie froze, her nerve endings sparking with anticipation. Was this it? Was he going to take her in his arms and . . .
‘Just need to use the loo before I hit the hay.’ Rob nodded towards the door, the path to which she was blocking.
‘Oh, sorry . . .’ She moved aside, feeling foolish. ‘I’ll, um, leave you to it, then. Night.’
‘Night,’ Rob said. Then, touching her arm lightly before she moved, he said, ‘Thanks for tonight, Suze. I really appreciate you letting me kip on the sofa, and it’s been great catching up with you.’
Catching up . . . Suzie mentally repeated the words as she made her way up the stairs ahead of Rob. Was that all tonight had meant to him: a chance to apologize before he left the country, and – bonus – salvage a bit of friendship from the ruins of their relationship?
They said goodnight again when they reached the landing, then Suzie went to her room while Rob headed into the bathroom. Climbing into bed, she heard the flush of the toilet a couple of minutes later, followed by the pad of his feet on the carpet as he went down the stairs, and the click of the living room lamp being switched off.
Sighing when silence fell over the house, Suzie rolled onto her side and pulled the quilt up over her shoulders, trying to ignore the yearning in the pit of her stomach.
It’s the wine, she told herself firmly. If you were sober you wouldn’t even be thinking these things. You split up with Rob for a reason, and you’ve been doing fine without him, so stop this pathetic pining and go to bloody sleep!
Downstairs, lying on the sofa in his boxers, his arms behind his head, the spare quilt draped over his legs, Rob stared up at the ceiling and listened to the creak of the bedsprings as Suzie settled down for the night in the room they had once shared.
Given the way things had ended between them, he hadn’t really expected Suzie to open the door, so he’d been pleasantly surprised when she not only invited him in but had also offered him a bed for the night. Her guard had been high to start with, but the booze had gradually lowered it, and by the time they’d finished the second bottle – most of which she had necked – Suzie had been giving him the full-on fuck me eyes.
He could have taken her up on it. He could have had her right here on this sofa and then carried her upstairs and fucked her all night. And he’d wanted to – God, he had wanted to! But he had resisted – for her sake as much as his.
He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed her until he saw her tonight, and he wished he could turn back the clock and start over with her. But if he was to stand any chance of getting back with her, it had to be her decision – and a sober one, at that, so she couldn’t accuse him of taking advantage of her further down the line.
A buzzing sound coming from under the coffee table interrupted Rob’s thoughts, and he leaned over and dragged his rucksack out from under it. There were several messages and missed call notifications on his phone screen, none of which he’d heard because his attention had been focused on Suzie. It was too late to reply to them now, so he slipped the phone into the bag and lay back down, casting one last glance up at the ceiling before closing his eyes.
25
The door slammed into the wall below the girl’s room, and her heart skittered in her chest when she heard footsteps rushing through the kitchen, the hallway and up the stairs. Remembering what her mummy had told her to do if anyone ever came into the house while they were sleeping, she quickly rolled off the bed and wriggled under it, unsure if it was the police looking for drugs, or the bad men coming to fight with her stepdad again.
She didn’t understand why those horrible men always wanted to hurt him, because he was really nice to her and her mummy. Most of the time. When he had money and smokes and they weren’t arguing and throwing things at each other. But, as scary as it was when the bad men came, at least she didn’t get sent away to stay with strangers afterwards, like she did whenever the police turned up looking for drugs and made her go with the fat lady social worker.
Under the bed now, trying not to sneeze as dust went up her nose, she bit down hard on her hand to stop herself from crying out when the footsteps ran past her room and her mummy screamed . . .
PART TWO
26
Holly woke in a cold sweat. The room was pitch-dark and all she could hear was the jackhammer of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. As it began to settle she heard a dull thud coming through the wall behind her headboard, and she jumped up when the memories of the previous night rushed back to her. Stumbling out into the hallway, groping for the light switch as she went, she tiptoed into her mum’s room and quietly approached the bed.
Josie’s mum was still out of it, her closed eyes rolling inside their lids as if she was dreaming deeply – but not peacefully, judging by the way her legs were jerking. She was mumbling and Holly leaned closer to listen. Most of the words were indecipherable, but one leapt out loud and clear, and Holly pulled her head back and stared at her mum open-mouthed.
She’d said Charlie. Short
