“Nick!” Rita scolded.
“No, Mom. Honestly, Dad is right. I wish I could give you all the answers now, but I can’t. I’m excited to rejoin my team. I’m excited to get back to training. But I’ve always known I wasn’t going to be a SEAL forever, and even my teammates have shown me that there’s more to life than just our missions. Hell, Dad, I’ve always planned on coming back here to work with you in the family business.”
“Yes, and I look forward to that when the time is right. But how does Lynn feel about waiting?” his dad asked.
“That’s why we’re not going to rush things. She’s got a lot of fear of the unknown and we’re still getting to know each other, but I just don’t think it makes sense to get a divorce while we're figuring this out.”
His mom leaned over and tapped her finger on to the Marriage Certificate. “Seeing this today… how does it make you feel?”
Unable to keep the grin from spreading across his face, he smiled widely. “I always thought it would feel like a noose, but it doesn’t. It feels like a new beginning.”
21
“C-Note! How the hell are you?”
“I’m good, Ringer, but forget about me… where the fuck are you? Still laying around, moaning about a stomachache?”
“Fuck you, old man. I thought getting shot before hurt like a bitch, but who the hell knew a ruptured appendix would take me down?”
Benjamin Blackwell had been the oldest member of their team, always willing to lend a helping hand and one of the most dedicated SEALs Nolan had ever met—and had recently decided to leave the SEALs, a decision not made lightly. At thirty-seven, he didn’t want to slow the team down or cause someone’s death.
“So, when do you get cleared to go back?” Benjamin asked.
“I’ve had a preliminary evaluation, and everything is on track for me to return in two weeks. I fly to California and have a final evaluation before I can rejoin the team for active duty.”
“Good to hear, Ringer. I know you’ll be glad to get back.”
“Gotta be honest, I wanted to ask you a question that I can’t fuckin’ believe I’m asking.” Silence on the other end of the line met him, and he knew his friend was just waiting to hear what he wanted to say. “The rest of the team, including you, have been falling like fuckin’ dominos when it comes to women. Most stayed in, you’re out. I want to know what it’s like being out.”
Another pause settled between them before Benjamin chuckled. “Fuckin’ hell, Ringer, you’ve fallen in love… and you’re thinking about leaving.”
Words were not necessary at the moment, so Nolan remained silent but anxious.
“It hits us all.” Benjamin sighed. “I’ve been in longer than the rest of you, on more teams, had more deployments. Hell, lost more friends. We do what we do because we can’t imagine our life not as a SEAL. But, at some point, it hits everyone that there might be something else out there. For some, they fight it kicking and screaming and hate every moment. For me? I was ready.”
“How the fuck can you tell?”
“Ringer, if you’re already questioning it, then you’re getting ready. If I had one piece of advice that I’d give to you? Don’t fight it. There’s no dishonor in deciding that what you’ve done for your country is good enough and you’re ready for something else. Believe me, man, there’s life after the SEALs.”
They chatted a few more minutes before disconnecting, and Nolan shoved his phone into his pocket, his thoughts swirling. The news from the doctor was that he was healing ahead of schedule and could return to his team in California, even if it was on light duty while he regained all of his strength. That should have been more exciting than it was. If the news had come a week ago? He would’ve been over the fuckin’ moon. But now, the thought of leaving Lynn before they had a chance to hammer out exactly what they were sent chills through him.
They had spent the last week dating: dinners out, long walks, even going to one of the local bars for drinks and dancing. He wanted to not only sweep her off her feet but take her to bed—but that needed to be her choice. She had asked him to spend the night last night, but all they did was wrap their arms around each other and sleep together. As much as he ached to make love to her, it felt right to have her tucked in close to his body all night.
Glancing at his watch, he grinned. They had taken Lynn’s car to the auto shop that morning and then he dropped her off at work before going to the construction site. Now, he was heading to pick her up. With Benjamin’s words, ‘There’s life after the SEALs,’ ringing in his ears, he was ready to talk.
“So, how can I be sure that he won’t resent me?” Lynn sat in her office with Nancy, who stopped by on her way home.
“Why on earth would Nolan resent you?”
Lynn nibbled on her bottom lip, her gaze cutting to the side before moving back to her best friend. “As much as I was embarrassed for making a fool of myself when he joined the Navy, I couldn’t help but try to learn everything about what he was doing, especially when he decided to become a SEAL. I got on the Internet and read everything I could find, still knowing that I was only scratching the surface. But one of the things I came away with was the intense dependence and trust and friendship the SEALs have with each other.” She shifted her gaze back to Nancy’s face and asked, “I don’t want him to walk away from that to be with me. If he does that, he might feel that he’s given up too much
