Signs plastered the gates. Private Property. Beware of Dog. No Soliciting. Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again. On either side of the gates was a security camera, both of them pointed at us.
"Seems friendly enough," I remarked.
Marty didn't answer, opening his door and stepping out.
"Yo, Theo, you here, man?" Marty called out.
One of the cameras moved slightly. Out of habit, I activated my Engineering vision mode, but no secrets revealed themselves. It only worked with Union components. The comparatively primitive components of the security camera were an opaque mystery. I had instruments in my bag that I could use to work on Earth tech, and I'd even implanted the equivalent of several master's degrees worth of engineering skills from Grandpa's database.
None of that was needed, anyway. It was obvious the camera was tracking Marty.
"Come on, man, you said I could come visit," Marty said, looking at the camera. "I realize it's been a while since then, but we're still cool, right?"
There was a loud, electronic click followed by a booming voice.
"SmokingMan93, who is with you and why have you brought them here?"
"Smoking man?" I asked with a chuckle. Marty waved me to silence.
"This is my friend Jake. He's cool, man."
"I know you. I don't know him. I don't let strangers inside the secure perimeter."
"Dude, I can vouch for him. You're going to want to meet this guy, let me tell you."
"Not good enough, SmokingMan93. Clear the gate, please."
I had an idea and once it seemed like Marty's forum buddy was turning us away it was worth a shot. I opened my own door and stood up. The second camera tracked me.
"Sir, I'm Jake Monde. I've got a mission and I need to avoid government interference. I need your help and I'm willing to pay for it. With this."
I produced a one-kilogram gold bar the size of my phone from my right pocket and held it up. It glittered in the weak winter sun.
"Holy shit," Marty said.
Silence reigned for a moment, which stretched uncomfortably. I looked at Marty, who simply shrugged.
"Put the gold away, they've got enough resolution to pick it out on the satellites if they're looking." Theo said, breaking the silence. "I've decided to let you in, with some reservations. I'm armed, and I can see you are as well, Mr. Monde. As long as we both follow the non-aggression principle here, I think we can do business."
I raised an eyebrow and looked at Marty quizzically. The gold went back into my parka pocket.
"It just means don't be the first guy to start shooting, or whatever."
"That's fine by me," I said.
The gates clanked loudly and began to separate, sliding to either side. Marty and I entered the car and closed the doors.
"I'm surprised he didn't complain about my pistol," I said.
"Theo's a big believer in the second amendment. An armed society is a polite society, and all that. I think he would trust you less if you were unarmed, actually."
"Speaking of which, why do you know his real name but he's calling you SmokingMan93?"
"Oh, yeah, I don't. He's TheodenThengel. I just call him Theo for short."
I shook my head. I really should ask more questions.
Chapter Ten: In Theoden's Realm
THE INSIDE OF THEO's fortress was much less chaotic than I had expected. A large yard, open to the sky, held a bungalow house and a few large buildings. The smell of wood smoke filled the air. The ground was clear of scrap metal and garbage, at least as far as I could see with the thick layer of snow.
Several collections of body panels were raised off the ground, riding on wooden slats. Blue tarps covered them and kept the snow and moisture from reaching them.
Along the inside left wall was a line of cars and trucks parked in a neat row. Each seemed completely intact, if sometimes with mismatched paint. It was a random-looking collection with no discernible common theme. Three of the vehicles on the far end were under car covers, hulking shapes covered with snow. The rest had been brushed clear at some point after the last snowfall.
A short man in worn, khaki-colored winter gear exited the house. The screen door slammed shut behind him. He had bushy black eyebrows and a long grey and black beard underneath the green toque he wore on his head. Steel grey eyes peered at me from behind thick-framed glasses. Slung at his right side was a rifle with a large box-shaped magazine. A revolver was holstered at his hip. I couldn't be sure, but I was willing to bet he could shrug off that sling and the rifle would be ready to rock.
Marty stopped the El Camino just inside the yard and turned off the ignition.
Theoden stopped thirty feet away and waited for us to approach. Marty went first, extending his right hand as he got closer.
"I'm glad to finally meet you, Theo. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."
Theoden shook his hand. "Same here, Smoker."
"And you, Mr. Monde," Theo said. "I didn't find your name on any wanted lists. I assumed you gave me an alias, but I did find a fairly extensive social media footprint. You look to be the same person, more or less. Larger than you look in your photos. Why are you here?"
"I need to get across the border into Canada. It's possible the Paradise Plains sheriff will be looking to stop us. Maybe some other government agencies."
"I can help with that, if your gold is good. First, though—your phones."
"I've already removed the sim from mine and powered it off," Marty said but pulled his out anyway.
"Not enough. Put them in here."
The in here was a small pouch he pulled from a pocket. I dropped my dead phone in without complaint. It wasn't much use right then anyway. Theo then closed the pouch and handed it to Marty.
"That's a Faraday pouch. It'll prevent any signals in or out. Smoker, you got a lowjack or any
