So she spoke, forcing the words through trembling lips. “Dax? Would you, would you kiss me? One last time?”
The young man drew back, expression stricken. “Last time?” he asked quietly, showing more hurt than she'd ever seen from him.
“Before I have to leave you forever. For your own safety.”
Dax's face crumpled in anguish and stubborn denial. But in spite of whatever protests he wanted to raise, Lana couldn't help but notice he said nothing. As if he, too, realized she was a traitor against her own will, and it was no longer safe to be around her.
He nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers as she did her best to meet him halfway in spite of the restraints. The kiss they shared was urgent, almost desperate, full of longing and sorrow and grim acceptance of how things had inexorably changed between them.
Or at least, that's what Lana felt from it. She felt torn between hoping he felt the same, and wanting to spare him the same pain she was feeling right now.
She wished this moment, bittersweet as it was, could last forever. But Dax finally leaned back, breaking the kiss. Lana lifted her head to follow him, desperately wanting to keep this last intimacy they'd share going. Maybe he felt the same, or maybe he took pity on her, because he leaned forward again to continue the kiss for a few more precious moments.
Then he reluctantly settled back in his chair. “I can't keep you awake for much longer,” he said apologetically. “Captain's orders. But are there any questions you have? Anything you want to say?”
“Just that I love you,” she whispered, tears once again spilling from her eyes. “It doesn't seem fair, does it? You were just getting to know me, I was just getting to know myself and rebuild some identity after losing everything, and now that's been taken away too. I don't get to have anything.”
Dax looked surprised. “They didn't tell you?”
Lana gave him a wary look. There was something else? Maybe, probably, even worse than all of this? “About what?”
He solemnly rested his hand on hers again. “Once Ali knew you were a D-” he stuttered slightly on the word, then took a deep breath and forced himself to continue, “a Dormant, she was able to comb through her databanks with a revised search. She found out who you were.”
An equal mix of excitement and dread surged through her. “She did? Who am I?”
Dax hesitated, looking pained again, and her dread ratcheted up a notch. “Are you sure you want to know?” he asked gently. “From what I've been able to learn about who you were, your life hasn't exactly been a, um . . .” he trailed off, flushing. “I guess I could just say you weren't exactly a fairytale princess. Which isn't really a surprise, considering you had to learn to live in this universe controlled by the Movement just like the rest of us.”
In spite of her eagerness to know the truth, Lana also felt herself hesitating. What could she have been, to make the young man so reluctant to talk about it? Had she been some sort of monster before she was turned into a Dormant and had her mind wiped, too? A murderer, or a Deek soldier, or, or . . . she didn't really know enough about the horrors of the universe out there to even guess what she might've been.
But it was her past, her life. Painful or not, shameful or not, it was who she was. Or at least who she'd been, before she'd been given this second chance. Even if it was a heartbreaking, twisted second chance as a weapon of betrayal.
Lana did her best to shift her hand so she could squeeze Dax's, letting her resolve show. “I want to know. However bad it is, hearing it from you is better than learning it some other way.”
Dax nodded, squeezing back firmly to brace her for what he was about to tell her. Or maybe himself. “Your name is Jaziri Irsham. You actually lived in this galaxy, born in a different sector on a planet called Ilis 2, where . . .”
End of Caretakers.
The story of the Last Stand and her crew continues in
Stag Uprising, Book Three of the Stag Privateers series.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading Caretakers!
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Will you please consider leaving a review? Even a few words will help readers decide if the book is right for them. Reviews are also a great way to support an author you like, providing us with useful feedback that can help us improve.
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Links to books by Nathan Jones
POST-APOCALYPTIC
BEST LAID PLANS
Fuel
Shortage
Invasion
Reclamation
Determination
NUCLEAR WINTER
First Winter
First Spring
Chain Breakers
Going Home
Fallen City:A Best Laid Plans Standalone
MOUNTAIN MAN
Badlands
Homecoming
Homeland
Mountain War
SCIENCE FICTION
Boralene
Last Stand
Caretakers
