‘I overheard your father and Rufus Bennett having words. I thought folks would think he did it. I reasoned it all out. I had watched your cat go in that little door, I knew the shed door hooked, I knew how long my arm was; I thought I could undo it. I stole over here a little after midnight. I went all around the house to be sure nobody was awake. Out in the front yard I happened to think my shears were tied on my belt with a ribbon, and I untied them. I thought I put the ribbon in my pocket – it was a piece of yellow ribbon – but I suppose I didn’t, because they found it afterwards, and thought it came off your young man’s whip.
‘I went round to the shed door, unhooked it, and went in. The moon was light enough. I got out your father’s overalls from the kitchen closet; I knew where they were. I went through the sitting-room to the parlour.
‘In there I slipped off my dress and skirts and put on the overalls. I put a handkerchief over my face, leaving only my eyes exposed. I crept out then into the sitting-room; there I pulled off my shoes and went into the bedroom.
‘Your father was fast asleep; it was such a hot night, the clothes were thrown back and his chest was bare. The first thing I saw was that pistol on the stand beside his bed. I suppose he had had some fear of Rufus Bennett coming back, after all. Suddenly I thought I’d better shoot him. It would be surer and quicker; and if you were aroused I knew that I could get away, and everybody would suppose that he had shot himself.
‘I took up the pistol and held it close to his head. I had never fired a pistol, but I knew how it was done. I pulled, but it would not go off. Your father stirred a little – I was mad with horror – I struck at his head with the pistol. He opened his eyes and cried out; then I dropped the pistol, and took these’ – Phoebe Dole pointed to the great shining shears hanging at her waist – ‘for I am strong in my wrists. I only struck twice, over his heart.
‘Then I went back into the sitting-room. I thought I heard a noise in the kitchen – I was full of terror then – and slipped into the sitting-room closet. I felt as if I were fainting, and clutched the shelf to keep from falling.
‘I felt that I must go upstairs to see if you were asleep, to be sure you had not waked up when your father cried out. I thought if you had I should have to do the same by you. I crept upstairs to your chamber. You seemed sound asleep, but, as I watched, you stirred a little; but instead of striking at you I slipped into your closet. I heard nothing more from you. I felt myself wet with blood. I caught something hanging in your closet, and wiped myself over with it. I knew by the feeling it was your green silk. You kept quiet, and I saw you were asleep, so crept out of the closet, and down the stairs, got my clothes and shoes, and, out in the shed, took off the overalls and dressed myself. I rolled up the overalls, and took a board away from the old well and threw them in as I went home. I thought if they were found it would be no clue to me. The handkerchief, which was not much stained, I put to soak that night, and washed it out next morning, before Maria was up. I washed my hands and arms carefully that night, and also my shears.
‘I expected Rufus Bennett would be accused of the murder, and, maybe, hung. I was prepared for that, but I did not like to think I had thrown suspicion upon you by staining your dress. I had nothing against you. I made up my mind I’d get hold of that dress – before anybody suspected you – and dye it black. I came in and got it, as you know. I was astonished not to see any more stains on it. I only found two or three little streaks that scarcely anybody would have noticed. I didn’t know what to think. I suspected, of course, that you had found the stains and got them off, thinking they might bring suspicion upon you.
‘I did not see how you could possibly suspect me in any case. I was glad when your young man was cleared. I had nothing against him. That is all I have to say.’
I think I must have fainted away then. I cannot describe the dreadful calmness with which that woman told this – that woman with the good face, whom I had last heard praying like a saint in meeting. I believe in demoniacal possession after this.
When I came to, the neighbours were around me, putting camphor on my head, and saying soothing things to me, and the old friendly faces had returned. But I wish I could forget!
They have taken Phoebe Dole away – I only know that. I cannot bear to talk any more about it when I think there must be a trial, and I must go!
Henry has been over this evening. I suppose we shall be happy after all, when I have had a little time to get over this. He says I have nothing more to worry about. Mr Dix has gone home. I hope Henry and I may be able to repay his kindness some day.
* * * * * *
A month later. I have just heard that Phoebe Dole has died in prison. This is my last entry. May God help all other innocent women in hard
