“I used to walk much further than that at home.” Evelyn was already starting to relish the prospect of an independent walk through London.
“Shall we say one o’clock then? Or I could meet you earlier on the route if it would help. I’d hate you to get lost on my account.” Jos smiled, her words full of enthusiasm.
“No, thank you. One o’clock is fine. I won’t get lost and if I do, I’ll ask a policeman.”
“You’re such a tourist, Evie. We’ll soon make you a Londoner.” Dorothy seemed satisfied with how she had engineered the situation.
Evelyn was grateful to her since she was fairly sure that, left to her own devices, she’d have sat silently, wondering how on earth to further her contact with Jos. “I’m already starting to feel like I am a Londoner,” she said.
“Not quite, sweetie. But nearly. It won’t be long.” Dorothy’s words seemed to carry more meaning than was apparent on the surface. Evelyn smiled, rather thrilled to have Dorothy’s approval. While Lilian was the shiny glamour of this new world Evelyn inhabited, she already felt like Dorothy was the essence of it. Dorothy’s respect suddenly meant a lot to her, although not so much as the fact that she would spend time with Jos, alone, the following day.
“You’d almost think Dorothy had a checklist for becoming a Londoner, wouldn’t you?” Jos joked gently.
“Yes. I’d like to know what’s on it,” Evelyn said, enjoying sharing the joke with Jos.
“I’ll warrant it’s not being born within the sound of Bow Bells. Maybe it’s being born within the sound of the tills ringing at Harrods?”
Dorothy looked mildly offended. “Certainly not! I’m not so shallow and you know it, Joselyn Singleton.” She smiled that vague, intriguing smile. “But I do have my opinions on what makes you part of this world. Number one would be a fascination for all that’s new. A simply unhealthy passion for jazz. A desire to drink gin before midday, perhaps.”
“This is still all awfully superficial, Dorothy, darling, don’t you think, Evie?” Jos clearly enjoyed teasing Dorothy and relished sharing her humour with Evelyn.
“It is, I have to agree. I’d expect more from Dorothy.” Evelyn drew confidence from Jos.
Dorothy’s brow furrowed. “I’m not sure I’m happy you two are better aquainted if I’m going to be bullied so badly.”
“Sorry, darling. You know I’m just pulling your chain. Do go on.” Jos put a finger to her lips to indicate that she would remain silent.
“Well, you must also be thoroughly dissatisfied with everything and dream of something new and thrilling that you don’t quite understand. You must think that the future is more exciting than the past but live in the moment and not concern yourself too much with what that future will be. You must have flirted with men and women and kissed plenty that you never intend to marry. You must feel the thrill and yet know it to be empty.”
Evelyn and Jos stared at Dorothy as she concluded. With Dorothy it was difficult to know if she was sincere or in jest, yet her tone was intense, her eyes turned slightly glassy. Evelyn had the uncomfortable feeling of having witnessed the emotions at Dorothy’s core, perhaps something she had not meant to reveal. She found Dorothy at once ridiculous and captivating. Jos’s silence seemed to imply that she was equally unsure how to respond.
“Gosh, Dorothy, do you ever think that you dwell on it a little too much?” Jos said, eventually. “Surely, after all, the conclusion of your requirements is that one does not sit and talk about things but rather goes out and really lives.”
“Oh, but where’s the pleasure in life if one cannot postulate about it?”
“I think, perhaps, we have rather different pleasures, Dorothy. I don’t want to talk about my feelings and their greater significance for the world. I want to feel them, to know what it is to be me, living my life. It’s that which makes my flesh quicken. That and a good scotch, of course.”
Dorothy allowed a flicker of a smile and turned her eyes to Evelyn. “What does Evie think about this? Where do your pleasures lie, I wonder?” The words were dripping with implications and yet Evelyn was drawn into the discussion without fear. It felt as though she was involved in something close to the edge, something dangerous and yet intoxicating. They were only sitting in a cafe, talking over coffee, and yet she felt as though she was breaking rules, drilling down to the root of what was important.
“I think I agree with Jos,” she said giving Jos a long look to make sure her sincerity was not in doubt. “I could have sat at home in West Coombe and dreamed of a different life, philosophised about it. But I came to London to live it, to feel it.”
“But those feelings count for nothing if they mean nothing,” Dorothy said.
“But Dorothy, their lack of meaning is their ultimate purpose, if we are to be thrilled but empty.” Jos looked back to Evelyn, apparently pleased they were in agreement.
“Can one feel, without thinking?” Dorothy asked.
“Yes. I think so,” Evelyn said. “It’s difficult to think without feeling though.”
“The dilemma of my daily life.” Dorothy drank the last of her coffee.
A giggle from the back of the cafe signified that Lilian and Vernon had returned. Jos looked towards where her brother emerged from the door to the private rooms above the cafe. Lilian was already heading back towards the table. Evelyn thought her hair looked ruffled, her lipstick freshly reapplied. Lilian’s pupils were also rather wide and her cheeks pink. She could not help but wonder what Lilian had been doing just a few moments before.
“Did Vernon enjoy your new song?” Dorothy asked, wryly.
“Of course he did.” Lilian took her seat and smiled, as though she really had just been performing the new song for Vernon. “Ah, Jos, good to see you. I’m sorry I was keeping Vernon occupied.”
“Not a problem,” Jos replied. Evelyn sensed
