Was Evelyn so comfortable because she’d finally found a group of people she felt at one with, a gathering where she was able to be herself? Or was it that she felt so at ease because she did not feel the same tension, the same anticipation, as Jos did, was not feeling that her own situation was at all relevent to the other women in the room? How would she know?
There was something in Evelyn’s expression that spoke of knowing rather than innocence, that told she was expecting something to happen. But Jos was frightened. She did not want to experience rejection but nor did she want to find herself in too deep. Her feelings for Evelyn were strong and she was uncertain where that could lead. That was not the case in most of her relationships. And Evelyn, who had surely expected her life to lead to marriage, would expect a reliable and trustworthy lover, someone to protect her. Jos was not sure she could fulfil that role if it was demanded of her. And yet, there was something so compelling about Evelyn, she thought she might be able to try.
The guests at the party began to leave after the clock on the mantel struck midnight. Evelyn and Jos drained the last of their drinks and continued in conversation with Clara and Courtney, until they were the only four left in the room. Evelyn was very content to listen to the stories other people wanted to tell her, Jos noticed, absorbing the information, clearly imagining worlds beyond her own. Now Clara and Courtney were telling her of their school days. Jos had already learnt the sadness Evelyn carried over the end of her own education. Now she was listening, intrigued, as Clara talked about the prefect system at their rather exclusive school.
Jos herself had left school at sixteen. She’d been passably academic but far too interested in learning about the world around her to stay into the upper forms. It always seemed a little odd to her to see young ladies of seventeen and eighteen still wearing a school uniform, running around playing hockey and calling their mistresses ma’am. But then Jos had always been told she was mature before her time. She’d never really considered it a failing. Yet seeing Evelyn’s longing for the education she’d been forced to leave made her dwell on it for a moment.
The clock chimed half-past midnight. Jos was suddenly filled with a new anxiety. How did this night end? That moment was rapidly approaching.
“Good heavens! I know half-past twelve is hardly the latest we’ve all been awake, but I am beginning to consider my beauty sleep,” Courtney announced.
“Actually, I’m a little sleepy too,” Evelyn said. “And I still have to work out how to get back to the Graingers’ house from here. Lucky I brought the spare key they gave me.”
“I’m quite sure Jos will be the gentleman and make sure you get home safely,” Clara prompted.
“Of course I will,” Jos said, horrified that Evelyn might have thought otherwise. What Jos was really thinking was that she did not want to take Evelyn back to Lilian. She wanted to keep her by her side.
“Then perhaps it’s time to call this little soiree to a close. Until next time. Are you doing anything for Christmas and New Year?”
“Gosh, it’s Christmas soon isn’t it?” Evelyn exclaimed. “I’d almost entirely forgotten.”
Jos watched Evelyn’s face and knew she was thinking of home. Christmas was a time of home and family after all. “It’s next week,” she said gently. “And no, Courtney, no special plans. Christmas will be quiet, I suppose, and I imagine I’ll end up at the Orchid for New Year. It’s always a good party there.”
“I’ll be there,” Evelyn interjected. “Lilian is singing, so I said I would definitely be there. She has a new dress.”
“I’m sure it’ll be delightful,” Clara said, with a small smirk. Jos saw Evelyn’s discomforted reaction. She had to remember that Evelyn had been dependent on Lilian’s kindness until now and that evinced a certain loyalty, even if she didn’t have a lot of time for the woman herself. Clara continued, “I think we’ll be there too. Especially if we’re certain some of our friends will be there.”
“I’ll look forward to seeing you again,” Jos said. She rose to her feet and placed her empty glass on the small table to the side. “So, we’ll say goodnight for now.” She leaned in to embrace Clara, followed by Courtney.
As Courtney’s powdered face brushed past her ear, Courtney whispered, “Kiss her,” just loud enough for Jos to hear but no one else.
When they parted, Jos looked at her dubiously, doubting she’d heard the words. But Courtney’s expression was the giveaway. She had an imperative look about her that would take no arguments.
Evelyn had also embraced both Clara and Courtney, so they took their coats and hats from the hooks close to the door and descended the stairs, calling their goodbyes as they went. Moments later, from the immaculate, understated glamour and warmth of Clara and Courtney’s flat they were in the cold of a late-December night. Under the lamplight, the street was full of long shadows and above them twinkled a host of stars in the strip of night sky they could see between the tall buildings. The clear skies promised frost in the morning.
Their breath came in plumes of vapour and Evelyn shivered slightly. Jos hesistated. Either they would begin to walk towards Hays Mews and the Graingers’ house, or now was the time to do something. Evelyn was looking at her, expectantly. She felt full of confusion, of wanting
