*
“Comfy?” Matt asked as they swung gently in an oversized hammock.
“So comfy,” Jules replied. She nestled into the crook of Matt’s arm, her head resting on his shoulder. He drew his fingers gently back and forth across her upper back and she could occasionally feel the brush of his bandage against her skin.
The motion—both the hammock and Matt’s hand—helped soothe her frazzled nerves. It was his explanation to give and she knew she shouldn’t rush him, yet she felt seconds away from blurting out, “Who the hell is Kirsten?” She bit the inside of her mouth to stop the words.
Matt sighed and Jules tried to read its tone. Then he sighed again, sparking annoyance. “Just say it,” she snapped, instantly regretting it. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Hey.” He reached under her chin and tipped her head towards him. She wasn’t comfortable contorted like that, so she tried to readjust her position, sending the hammock into a jarring lurch to one side.
“Whoa,” they both said together. Matt placed a steadying hand on the ground, righting the hammock.
Jules bit her lip, trying without luck to supress a giggle. “Oops, sorry.”
He shook his head at her, grinning. “I’ve never had another person in here with me. It’s a little more precarious than I thought it would be. You should be getting danger pay.” It was enough to break the tension she’d felt building since they’d left the hospital and she laughed along with him. She made a small adjustment in her position, slowly this time, so she could see his face.
“So …” she said, bravely wandering into unknown emotional territory. It seemed to be just the gentle nudge that Matt needed.
“So …” He sighed again, catching himself when Jules gave an exasperated, “Argh.”
“Sorry! No more sighs, I promise. Right. Kirsten. I should probably start at the beginning.” Jules watched his face closely, seeing a dozen emotions cross it and, without him saying it, Jules knew that Matt had loved Kirsten. And she did not like how that realisation made her feel.
“You know how I told you about my trip to America?”
“The wine sabbatical,” she replied.
“Exactly. Well, when I got to Oregon, I met someone.”
“Kirsten.”
“Uh, no. It was Monica, Kirsten’s best friend.” Jules’s brow creased. Womaniser, much? She thought. Maybe she’d got Matt completely wrong. Maybe he wasn’t one of the good guys.
As if he could read her mind, Matt back-pedalled. “Hang on, I’m not telling it right. Monica and I were just friends. I worked with her brother and her dad at the family’s vineyard.” Jules felt the knot in her stomach uncoil a little. “She reminded me a lot of Chloe, actually. Maybe that’s why we became such good mates. Anyway, we kept in touch and after I’d been back in Australia for a few months, she messaged me to say that her best friend was coming over to do some travelling and asked if I’d show her around. And I did, and, uh … we got together.”
“With Kirsten? You hooked up?”
“Yeah, something like that. She was supposed to be travelling around the country—Adelaide, Perth, then across to Brizzie, down to Sydney, and then back here, but she didn’t do any of that.”
“She just stayed in Melbourne?”
“Well, here, mostly.”
“Ahhh.” Jules didn’t want to think of another woman in Matt’s house—or his bed. She asked the next question, dreading his answer but knowing she needed to hear it. “And you fell in love with her?”
“I did … or I thought so at the time.”
“Right, okay. So, what happened?”
“Well, when it was time for her to go home, she asked me to go with her.” He paused.
Why was she having to drag this story out of him? Every other time they’d talked, his stories had practically poured out, filled with details. This was excruciating. “And did you? Go?” Jules tried to temper the annoyance in her voice.
“No. But I thought about it. As in, seriously thought about it. I even told everyone I was going—my family, Chloe, Ash, Davo, the girls, everyone.”
He glanced at her, the pain etched onto his handsome features and Jules felt awash with guilt. He wasn’t spilling the story like it was a funny anecdote because this was hard for him, reliving it, retelling it—and to her.
He closed his eyes for a moment then looked away. “My mum was devastated. We’ve always been really close, and it had been hard enough for her when I’d moved overseas for a few months. This time, I’d be going indefinitely, and I think it was too much for her. We had this massive fight. It still makes me sick to think about some of the things I said to her.”
Jules knew that feeling. She’d unleashed her own fury on her mom around the time she had married Joe. Jules knew that buried deep, even now, she still held that kernel of resentment towards her mom, blaming Steph for leaving her dad. It rose its head sometimes, but she regretted the things she’d said that night. That was the thing about saying stuff out loud; you can’t un-ring a bell. Maybe that was why she kept her rawest emotions locked away, so she could get through life reasonably unscathed, not getting too invested, not hurting anyone.
Except Lucy. Her heart ached for her best friend and she promised herself she’d call Lucy before the end of the day.
When Jules abandoned her thoughts to give Matt her full attention, it was obvious that he was lost in his own. “Hey,” she said in a whisper. She touched his chin with her
