“Shh, now. Never mind. You didn’t talk back, did you?”
The little girl only wept, shaking her head.
“Chastity, you help her clean herself up. I’ll see to Baby.” She took off her headscarf, scratched her bald scalp where the hair was beginning to sprout in an itchy silver brush after the last shaving, then moved into the room where Baby slept.
Baby had no name. If he lived to be a year old, Papa would give him a name. If he lived to be six, he would go over to Papa’s house every day and attend school. Boys had to be able to read and write so they could discuss the Scriptures. They had to be able to calculate some, as well, in order to be efficient shepherds for All Father, who wouldn’t tolerate lack of discipline or diligence. Until the first year was over, however, babies were only “Baby.” “Sweet’ums,” sometimes. “Honey child.” Not when Papa could hear, of course. Baby names and displays of affection were trivial things, unworthy of All Father. Anytime during the first year, a baby could disappear, just up and vanish, with nobody knowing a thing about it. That’s what had happened to the two girl babies between Faith and Baby. Most always, it happened to girls. Hardly ever to boys unless there was something wrong with them. Though, sometimes, an Elder might sell a boy baby to some other Elder desperate for sons. Not that anybody would ever let on.
Susannah unbuttoned her bodice and put Baby to the breast. She wouldn’t wean him until she had to. As long as he wasn’t weaned, she wouldn’t get her uncleanliness, and as long as she didn’t get it, she probably wouldn’t get pregnant. She couldn’t bear to be pregnant again right away. Maybe not ever. She’d been pregnant almost all the time since she was fourteen. She’d had eleven pregnancies and had six living children, not counting the two girls who had just disappeared. If she got pregnant again, she thought she’d kill herself. It would be easier to die than to go through it again. Let Papa get some more babies on the sister wives, Matilda and Cheerfulness and Plentitude and Rejoice. No, Rejoice was too old, but Plentitude only had one at home, almost five years old. Let her have another one. Cheerfulness only had four and she hadn’t had one for three years. Let her. Let Matilda get up out of that bed she’d been in for five years and get pregnant. Having three dead babies and coughing up blood now and then wasn’t any reason to escape duty. If that’s all it took, maybe Susannah could manage to cough up some, too.
Susannah’s eyes filled. All these thoughts were wicked and uncharitable and unkind, and she knew they were but she kept having them anyhow. Everything was just so… so wearisome. It got so you looked forward to your daughter being unclean just so Papa wouldn’t come to the house. And Chastity had long, unclean times, too. Seven or eight days, sometimes. It meant Papa had to leave Susannah alone for a whole week at a time. She wished it was forever. Let him take some other girl, a really young one, and spend all his time and energy on her. Susannah was too old for this. She was almost thirty—much, much too old for this.
INSIDE THE FATHER-HOUSE, Elder Resolution Brome sat in his comfortable chair before the window, drinking hot mint tea one of the grannies had prepared, and considering Elder Jepson’s offer for Chastity. Elder Jepson had a son, Thankful, almost thirty-five now, who’d cleared himself around forty acres in the third valley over, dug him a well, built him a fairly good log house, accumulated about a hundred sheep, and was ready to enter into the community of Elders and Fathers—if he could find a woman. Women were a mite sparse right now, and Elder Brome silently brought to the attention of All Father the shortsightedness of Elders who had killed off all their infant daughters twelve and thirteen years ago. There’d been a drought then, which was all the excuse anyone needed, but where did they think their sons were going to get wives twelve and fifteen years later if they put all the infant girls out on the side of the mountain for the coyotes?
Resolution considered his own foresight in keeping Chastity. Of course, he’d laid out a few infant girls himself —later, after Faith was named—but he’d had good reason. Susannah hadn’t seemed to be able to produce any thing but girls there for a while. She’d had Chastity, then two girls stillborn, then Faith. Resolution had decided tc leave Faith alone, even though she was a sickly little thing, because a woman needed a baby in the house to keep her working right. Then Susannah’d had two more weakling girls born early before she finally came out with Baby. And the worst of it was, if he wanted Susannah to be around to raise Baby, he’d better leave her alone. Everybody knew when they started dropping babies before their time, it wouldn’t be long before the mama dropped, too, if you didn’t leave her alone. Ewe sheep and women, both of ’em worked the same. And that was a pity because Susannah was the one it was easiest to do his duty with. She wasn’t the best-looking, but there was something about her body just heated him right up. Something about the way she went all stiff and shivering under him made him just want to pound away at her.
Well, he’d have to do his duty on somebody else. Cheerfulness, maybe. There would be one good thing about giving Chastity to Elder Jepson for Thankful Jepson, because Elder Jepson had a thirteen-year-old girl named Perseverance he was willing to give in trade. Ugly little thing if you looked at her face, but Elder Jepson said he’d had a look at her through a hole in
