He seized upon this idea and fell abruptly into the old Phobos habit of saying the same things over and over with minor variations. He would do this, she would do that, they would stay in touch, he would provide, she would reply, he would find out, perhaps he could visit…then, starting over, he would do this, she would do that. I nodded, responded with monosyllables, let him talk until exhaustion took over and we both slept.
On the second day, Father left to say good-bye to Mother at the assembly point where she was being held.
“Do you want to come, Margaret?”
“I’m not allowed to leave the house.”
“But surely…not even to say good-bye?”
“Not even that.” It was true, but also, I preferred not to go. I had no idea what I could say that would not be hurtful or accusatory, and neither of them deserved that. They’d raised me with all the affection and care Phobos thought proper. The rules were made by whom? Dominion? Earthgov? ISTO? Certainly my parents had had no control over that. But still…still…Father said they had known! If they had known, why hadn’t they at least warned me? Let me get used to the idea…
I resolved once more to focus on packing. Sturdy clothes, shoes, warm things in case my destination would be cold. One could always strip down to almost nothing if it were hot. I caught myself folding and unfolding, taking out and putting away, accomplishing little.
And then, unexpectedly, Bryan arrived. He tugged me toward a chair, made me sit down, and took my hands in his.
“I’ve been finding out about a colony planet called Tercis. It has a subdivision, rather like a state or province, called Rueful…”
“Rueful!” I cried.
“Don’t interrupt with questions, Margaret. We haven’t that much time. Rueful has very few doctors. Doctors and some other professions are allowed to volunteer for places like that.” He gazed at me expectantly.
What did he want me to say?
“Why would you volunteer, Bryan? You’re in your last year of the specialized training you’ve always planned on. If there are few doctors, it must be primitive! You wouldn’t want to go there! How could you practice medicine there?”
“We’ve talked about how I feel about practicing medicine here, Margaret. Over and over…”
Well, of course we had at one time, before we had agreed not to, but why bring that up again now? “Yes. So?”
He took a deep breath, and blurted, “And if I volunteer, I can take my wife with me…”
I stared at him, unbelieving. “You would never volunteer for something like this on your own, Bryan, and if you’re doing it for me, I can’t…can’t accept it.”
He drew me into his arms, spoke into my ear, urgently, roughly. I must accept it. He loved me, he had loved me since his sister had first introduced us. He had always intended to marry me. No, of course he hadn’t spoken of marriage, it hadn’t been the right time, but that didn’t make it less true. He couldn’t, absolutely wouldn’t, lose me!
I tried to reason with him, without success. He wouldn’t let up. He went on arguing, demanding. Over and over, becoming more intense with every repetition.
Finally, in acute misery, I cried, “Oh, Bryan, if you really do love me, then leave me alone for a little while and let me think about it. I can’t stand any more of this.”
Bryan went away. When Father returned to the house, I did not mention Bryan’s visit. I hoped Bryan would have second thoughts and give it up. I was shamed enough. I couldn’t bear to carry any more humiliation than I already felt, and if Bryan made such a sacrifice, he would hate me, and I would spend my life regretting it. It was absurd, preposterous.
I went on packing and repacking, finally achieving the best arrangement anyone could achieve who had no idea where she was going. Bryan did not return, and as I wiped tears from my face, I gave silent thanks for that. In the morning, however, as we were about to leave for the assembly point, he came back, a pack on his back, traveling cases in both hands.
Father blurted, “Bryan, what are you doing here?”
“Came to get Margaret, sir.”
“To get…you’ve volunteered for bondage?” It wasn’t unheard of, but it was exceptionally rare.
Bryan turned and grasped my hand. “You didn’t tell him what I’ve decided?”
I cried, “I wanted…I hoped you’d change your mind.”
“I haven’t.” Without releasing his grip, he turned to face my father. “I love Margaret. I’ve volunteered to provide medical service on Tercis. Margaret and I will be there together. It’s not a high-tech civilization, but it’s far from bondservice. I have the authorization papers with me. All Margaret and I have to do is com the Bureau of Volunteer Services to record a contractual union, then she can go with me.”
I stood dumb, incapable of words or feeling.
Father broke from his astonishment to ask, “What colony, Bryan? Do you know anything about it?”
“It’s a good-sized planet, one the Dominion has divided into sections for human populations of various types. The place that most needs a doctor is called Rueful.” He laughed briefly. “It’s also inhabited by the Rueful, who practice a religion called Rue.”
“Who are ‘they’?”
“Just an ordinary human population, rural, needless to say. Rueful has a few small towns, half a dozen middle-sized ones, one small city, a lot of open country. Almost entirely agricultural. Fewer than a million people in the whole place. The Dominion Settlement Board provided the original supplies: seeds, domestic animals, the usual settlement stuff. According to the Board it’s very natural, trees, rivers, some local wildlife, birds, that kind of thing.”
“What technological level?” Father asked.
“Three,” Bryan said, flushing a little.
“Three! So they have electricity.”
“That’s about it. Horses for transportation. Actually, you can go all the way across the settled area in a couple of days on a horse. It
