“AAAAAARGGGHHHHH! AAAAHHHHHH!” AHHHHHH!
So I wrestle him to the floor and try to put my hand over his mouth, but he’s fighting me off like he thinks I’m possessed and—
“Um, hi, guys?”
And we both stop and look up, and there are three girls about our age standing in the doorway.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
JACK
So it turns out that Abi, Beth and Josie are an absolute riot, they’re actually staying in the cabin next to ours because, funny story, I didn’t book a remote cabin the woods, but a cabin that’s near quite a few other cabins, because this is actually a holiday park, and now we’re all in the hot tub together, we’re drinking Prosecco (will look like champagne in the pictures) and we’re actually having a really nice time, like, finally.
“And you were screaming because?” Beth asks.
“It was just a bit of banter,” I assure her
“And you were wearing those pyjamas because?”
“Again, banter,” Nate says. “Just a joke.”
Beth doesn’t look entirely convinced, but we’ve already established she and her mates are actually a year older than us, so they probably see us as jokes anyway – although luckily I flipped Nate’s shirt over so the name tag his mum sewed in there wasn’t being proudly displayed for our new sophisticated friends to see, from where he’d dropped it at the side of the hot tub.
Abi takes a long sip of her drink. “So what’s the deal with you two, then?” She’s pretending to be interested in her drink, making it sound like an off-the-cuff question.
I sense Nate tense.
“No deal,” I say. “We’re mates.”
“You’re gay, though, right?” Abi says to me.
“Right.”
She shifts slightly towards Nate, who she’s sitting next to. “What about you?”
He doesn’t look at me. He doesn’t look at anyone. “Well” – he shrugs – “it’s 2020, isn’t it?”
My eyes widen because what the hell is that supposed to mean? Like, seriously, what does he mean? Because what it sounds like is some “let’s not label it, it’s 2020, we’ve moved beyond all that” thing – coming from the boy who literally just told everyone at prom he was gay.
Whatever, it seems to satisfy Abi. “Ha ha! Right, babe.”
Nate laughs too, sips his drink.
OK, fine, of course it’s up to him. He came out as gay at the prom, but if he’s changed his mind, or it’s different now, then that’s his business. I guess he caught me off guard. Maybe I need to be more open to things. I mean, it’s 2020, isn’t it?
“Top up, Jack?” Beth pours the fizz in anyway.
“Why not?” I say. “It’s 2020!”
Beth laughs. I glance up and Nate is giving me daggers.
“Ahhhh!” Abi squeals, suddenly excited. “You know what we should play? Never Have I Ever!”
“Really?” Josie says. Josie is wearing a vintage-style Cath Kidston swimsuit – she’s clearly controlled and together and I suspect never loses this game.
“Yes!” Abi says. “No one is anywhere near drunk enough!”
So that’s decided. Beth refills all our drinks, and Josie has the first question. “Never have I ever … said ‘I love you’ without feeling it,” she says.
Abi drinks.
Beth drinks.
I think about Dylan. I told him I loved him – but did I? At the time, I felt I did. But if I really did, why am I not more cut up? Why am I not more like Nate is about Tariq? I drink anyway, because YOLO, and no one’s gonna ask (or care) about reasons.
Josie and Nate do not drink.
“Aw, you’re really cute, Nate,” Abi says, smiling at him, all doe-eyed.
Nate takes a big gulp of his drink. “Huh? Am I? OK. Thank you,” he says.
“My turn!” Beth says. “Never have I ever … watched porn.”
Here we go. Beth takes a drink, I drink, Abi drinks, Josie does not drink, but just sits there smiling sweetly like she’s really trying not to look disapproving about this, and finally Nate drinks.
“So!” says Abi. “What sort of porn do you watch, Nate?”
Nate chews his lip a bit. “Oh, er … you know, just… Like, nothing too … not hardcore stuff, obviously.”
(I mean, this is all sounding like lies, but OK.)
“Maybe just like … hand stuff?” he continues.
Abi screws her face up. “Hand stuff?”
Nate’s eyes widen. “Like, um…”
And he comes this close to making a wanking gesture with his fist, I mean, that boy, I just have to stop him.
“Nate!” I say. “Button it! Seriously, you’re ridiculous.”
“You’re ridiculous!” he hits back.
“Never said I wasn’t,” I mutter. “My turn. Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex.”
I down the rest of my drink, just to be absolutely clear that I’ve done a fair bit of that and I’m damn proud of it too.
Abi doesn’t drink.
Beth takes a small sip. Not sure what that means.
Josie takes a huge gulp, which delights me. I always end up loving girls in Cath Kidston.
Nate just stares into the bubbles of the hot tub. Oh, boy. But fine, OK.
It’s Abi’s turn. “Never have I ever … forgotten my first love.”
There’s some appreciative and nostalgic-sounding “awww”s and “ahhhh”s from the girls and not one of us drinks.
“Who was your first love, Jack?” Rosie asks.
I flick my eyes from Nate to her. “Um … SpongeBob,” I say, smiling.
“Nate?” Abi says.
Nate shakes his head. “Nah, it’s… Let’s just leave it.”
“Still hurts?” Abi says
Nate won’t look at anyone. “A bit. It’s fine.”
“They say you never quite get over the first,” Beth muses, looking into the middle distance.
“I think it’s really special,” Josie agrees. “I mean, they’re the first.”
Nate’s still just staring into the water. “Well, anyway—” I begin, knowing we have to move away from this.
Abi ignores me. “His name was Archie, my first. I mean, we were young, but I was so in love with him. You know? And when we split up, I was sure I would never get over him.”
Nate glances up, his eyes a bit puffy. “And did you? Get over him?”
“Kind of,” Abi says. “But also, kind of
