“Nah,” Dad says. “I got the idea on the trip. You know, a free-spirited summer is great, but sometimes things would be easier and less stressful with a little bit of” – he glances sheepishly at Mum – “structure. I guess I just got inspired – and that’s exactly why you should do these sorts of things. Magic happens when you step out of your regular routine, out of your comfort zone.” He meets my eyes in the rear-view mirror. “You realize what’s really important to you and what you really want.”
We’re nearly an hour on the road before we pull up at this small stretch of unspoiled beach, somewhere near Hope Cove. There’s a large wooden beach hut and they’re serving freshly barbecued fish and prawns, as well as local crab, mussels and burgers to the throng of happy laid-back customers who are chilling on the beach and enjoying the live music from the band playing next to the hut.
“Ohh, this is niiiiice,” Jack smiles. “This was worth coming back for!”
Dad looks well pleased with himself. “We’ll set ourselves up on the beach, get some food and drinks, watch the sun go down.” He hands us a tenner each. “Go and grab whatever you fancy.” He lowers his voice. “Do you want me to get some beers, or…”
“I mean, you said ‘beer’ but what I heard was ‘a really chilled, sweet rosé’,” Jack says.
“Done!” Dad says.
Jack, Elliot and I end up pooling our money and getting this huge platter of freshly cooked seafood: plaice, sardines, prawns, clams, whitebait, crab, with huge wedges of sourdough and butter, and basically a bucket of crispy triple-cooked chips. We sit on the sand tucking in to it, while the band plays behind us and happy people mill about, enjoying the sea air and the last of the evening sun.
Afterwards, I go and find Dad, who’s standing by himself at the far end of the beach, looking out across the sea.
“Hey, Nate,” he says, turning as I crunch along the sand towards him.
“Hey.”
“Great spot, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s awesome. I love it.”
Dad smiles and nods. “Yeah,” he says, looking back out to sea. “So. You’re wondering why I made a big deal out of this.”
“Kinda.”
“So, you remember my mate Martin?”
“Yeah, the one who…”
“Yeah. So, we were mates, back in the day, just like you and Jack. And, just like you two, we’d just finished our GCSEs and—”
“Wait, you had GCSEs?”
Dad gives me evils. “Point’s this: me and Martin had all these plans long ago, for the summer,” he continues. “A road trip, see places, meet people, freedom. Didn’t happen that year though, ’cause Martin ended up seeing this girl and wanted to spend time with her, and I ended up getting a part-time job, and quite liking the money. But we promised we’d do it the year after. Except we didn’t get it together that year, and the year after, we were getting ready for uni, and there were loads of goodbye parties, and we didn’t want to leave all our friends. And then we were at uni, and we still promised we’d do it one summer, ’cept now we had new friends, and we were doing stuff with them. And so, long story short, the years rolled on and we never did do it. Started jobs, couldn’t get the same holidays, got married, had kids, and somehow there was always a reason why it couldn’t happen. And then earlier this year, Martin… And now … it never will.”
I put my arm around his shoulder and he smiles.
“So, this place,” he says. “This was always meant to be the end of our trip. The rest of it was always kinda flexible, just see what happens kinda thing, but we were always going to finish here.”
“Why?”
“Well, look at it, Nate! It’s beautiful. It’s perfect. It’s a little corner of unspoiled paradise.” He shakes his head. “I’ve known about this place since I came on holiday here as a kid with your gran and grandad; I wanted to show it to Martin. And now I want to show it to you. And, Nate? I want you to realize that life can be full of things you’ll never do, if you’re not careful. So do them.”
“Even if…”
Dad turns back to me. “They scare you? Yes.”
“Like, it could mess everything up?”
“Oh.” Dad chuckles. “Oh, you should totally tell him.”
I stuff my hands in the pockets of my shorts. “Don’t know what you mean by that, so.”
“If I was a betting man, I would bet he liked you back, just the same.”
I can’t look at him, but I hope he carries on.
“Step out of that comfort zone, Nate,” Dad continues. “Magic awaits when you grab life by the horns! Ooh, maybe that’s what I should call the website. By the horns dot com?”
I laugh. “Yeah, no, Dad.”
I find a pebble on the beach, pick it up and throw it out to sea.
It goes about two metres; doesn’t even reach the water. Nowhere close.
“Shit throw,” Dad says.
He picks one up himself.
“Martin? If you’re up there, this one’s for you, buddy!”
And he hurls the stone out to sea, so fast, so far, I can’t even see it.
He turns back to me. “Now, when you were smaller, you were fearless. My god, that performance you did as the Tin Man that time…”
I flinch slightly. “What about it?”
“Well, it was … it was…” He licks his lips. “It was brave, Nate. So brave! It was … valiant! That’s an appropriate word. Spirited is another similar word a person could use to describe that … performance.”
“Bloody hell.”
“So! Similar mindset now! Be plucky! Go and … pluck!”
I cringe. And I laugh, and I smile, because, know what? That’s what I’m going to do. I’ve been in the shadows for too long, cowering, afraid, but no more. I’m ready to go out there and live. I’m ready to go out there and be the real me.
CHAPTER
