I felt a sudden sense of shock. I’d always been very careful not to involve Welland in any of my murkier dealings, and as far as I was aware he knew nothing about any wrongdoing I’d ever committed.
‘I’ve always tried to play it fair, sir. Sometimes I’ve had to lean hard on people, but it’s always been by the book.’
‘Sometimes you’ve got to do these things,’ he said, continuing as if I hadn’t spoken, still staring up towards the ceiling. ‘People don’t realize the sort of job we have to do, the sort of scum we have to deal with the whole time. They just take the whole thing for granted. Do you remember when the Home Secretary visited that time?’
I remembered all right. Two years ago it had been. He’d marched in all smiles, pumping hands left, right and centre. Telling us how he was going to increase recruitment and how he and the government were going to introduce legislation to make it easier for the police to gain convictions and harder for the criminals to avoid the long arm of the law, which, needless to say, had never happened. Come to think of it, he’d used the phrase ‘taking the war to the criminals’ as well. Maybe that’s where Knox had got it from.
‘Who could forget?’ I said.
‘He talked about how he really empathized with us, how he knew how hard the job we had to do was. But he didn’t. None of them do. If they did, they’d untie our hands and pay us more. Make it worthwhile upholding the law.’ He sighed. ‘Sometimes you’ve got to bend the rules a bit, make a few pennies here and there to supplement things. If a piece of evidence goes missing, who’s going to notice? In the end, it’s only going to get burned anyway. Why not make something out of it?’
Still he wouldn’t look at me. I felt increasingly uncomfortable sitting there in that shitty little room listening to things I really didn’t want to hear. In a way, he sounded as though he was rambling, but I knew he wasn’t.
‘What are you trying to say, sir?’
‘You know what I’m trying to say, Dennis. I know you’ve bent the rules in the past—’
‘I’ve always tried to play it fair,’ I said, repeating the phrase I’d used earlier, but it sounded lame now, and I knew it. ‘I don’t think I’ve—’
This time he turned and faced me. ‘Dennis, I know you’ve done things in the past you shouldn’t have. I know it. No question. Stuff’s gone missing, sometimes bad stuff like dope, and you’re the only person who could have taken it.’ I tried to say something, but he put up a hand to stop me. He wanted to say his piece, and nothing was going to stop him. ‘You’re a good copper. You always have been. But I’m not blind. And I’m not stupid. I’m not saying you’re bent, not by any means, but I know you’ve cut corners and made a bit of illicit cash here and there; done a few dodgy deals. Fair enough, I say. You’ve worked hard over the years. You’ve put away a lot of very nasty people, people who’d probably still be free if it wasn’t for your efforts. I know that in a couple of cases you’ve had to use – how shall I put it? – unconventional means to put people down. And I understand that, I really do. The law’s a straitjacket sometimes. I know it and you know it, because we’re old school. These new people, they don’t have a clue how it works…’ He turned away again, presumably signifying that he’d got what he wanted off his chest.
For a moment I just sat there, not sure what to say. What could I say? He had me bang to rights, and the thing was, I’d never seen it coming. Maybe I’d just been far too cocky for my own good. I exhaled slowly and wished I could have a cigarette.
‘You know what I like about you, sir? You never mince your words.’
‘No point. Not when you’re in my position.’
‘What have the doctors said about the … the er…?’
‘The cancer? You can say the word, you know.’
‘Do they think they’ve got it early?’
‘It doesn’t look too good, Dennis. It might be all right, but the odds aren’t in my favour. I’m not sure how much they’re in yours either.’
I felt an immediate spasm of fear. ‘What do you mean, sir?’
He sighed, and there was a short silence before he continued. ‘I want you to be careful, Dennis. I’ve always liked you, you know. A lot more than sometimes I’ve let on. I liked the way you never backed down. You’ve got guts, and that’s something in very short supply these days.’
‘What are you trying to say, sir?’
He turned to face me again. ‘I’m saying, watch your back.’
‘And what’s making you say that?’ I asked, my voice steady. ‘What have you heard that I ought to know about?’
‘I had visitors earlier.’ There was a pause. I didn’t say anything. He sighed. ‘Two men from CIB.’
So they were on to me. In a way it had always been coming, ever since they’d issued the e-fit, but I still had difficulty containing my shock. ‘What did they say?’
‘They asked a lot of questions.’
‘What kind of questions?’
‘About your background, your attitude … all sorts. They wanted to know whether you had more money than might be expected of a serving copper, whether there’d ever been any suggestion of … corruption.’ He emphasized the last word, taking his time to pronounce it.
‘What did you tell them?’
‘I told them you were a good copper, that I couldn’t think of a bad word to say about you except that maybe sometimes you were too eager to get a conviction.’
‘Thanks, sir.’
‘Whatever it is you’ve done, Dennis, be careful. Because they’re on to you.’
I sat there for a couple of seconds as the full magnitude of his words sank in. In
