He turned as she approached, even though she'd been moving with the utmost quiet. Of course, he was the ship, he knew instinctively what was taking place around him, where she was. It was a strangely intimate thought. Once, it might have troubled her.
She stood beside him, looking at the stars. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I think it is the right thing to do.”
“That's not the same thing. You get to choose what you want to do.”
He nodded. “This journey into and hopefully out of the black hole will destroy me. But, still, it feels like the right thing to do. It feels like … a good ending to my long story.”
“Surtr said something similar.”
“And I understand what it meant.”
“We could look for answers elsewhere, find another way. I do not want your death on my conscience.”
His reflection looked amused by her words. “I have thought about this a lot, believe me, and this is a choice I am taking freely.”
“You were once one of the Tok, and I'm not convinced we should trust them or the impulses they gave you. We've seen what they're capable of: the genocide and the wide-scale terror.”
He turned to consider her, taking a moment to find his next words. “I hope that I have served you, and Ondo, and all the others well over the aeons. If there has been a purpose to my existence, I think it has been to bring you to this point. Whatever I once was, this is what I am now.”
“You have just set foot outside your vessel for this first time in aeons. This does not seem like the time to turn your back on everything and accept your end.”
“It is precisely the right time. Visiting Ansider opened my eyes, it is true, but perhaps not in the ways you imagine. The journey reminded me of what I'd lost by becoming what I am, reminded me of my biological roots. Sometimes the destination is more important than the journey. It is time I stopped travelling and did the right thing.”
She would stop trying to persuade him. She placed a hand on his. His flesh was oddly warm, and its touch made a rush of sadness swell within her. “You have always protected us, done everything we asked of you despite the injuries you suffered. I wish I'd done more for you.”
“And I think I'd have faded into oblivion if I'd been left alone as I was. Your arrival changed everything. Not just for me.”
“I should have protected you better. I feel so damned helpless when I consider what we're facing.”
“Perhaps that is simply what they want us to feel. And … perhaps there is another way for you, despite what I've just said. A way for you to acquire the strength you need.”
“What way?”
“You and I, we're not so different, even though we were born millions of years apart. I am at the end of my story, and you have barely begun yours, yet we are similar in essential ways. You are transbiological, as I am. There may be little left of me from what I was, but bones and flesh remember what they once were. We have both had to get used to the artificial. To new bodies that seemed clumsy and broken at first.”
She thought back to the early days of her reconstruction. The Dragon had seen that, watched when she first limped onto its decks. Had it been like that for Eb, too, in the long-ago when he stopped being a person and became a swoop ship core? Had there been steps along the way for him when parts of his organic body were slowly replaced until he became the entity she now knew?
She said, “Are you suggesting that I could take your place? Become the Mind of this vessel? Become the Radiant Dragon?”
“You once asked me how it was I was able to pull us out of the gravity well at Coronade, and I said that it was possible for you to learn the truth of it. This is how you could do so. With this ship as your body, it would make sense. The galaxy could be yours to fly for as long as you wanted. You would simply need to grow into your new body, as you have done before.”
She'd been about to laugh at his suggestion, dismiss it, but the look in his eye stayed her. Could she ever do such a thing? Perhaps one day, in the future, she might consider it. But not now. Now, there were other battles to fight. She was happy as she was, comfortable as the flawed, transbiological entity she'd become.
“I will think about it,” she said.
A sad smile played about Eb's face, but from his nod she could see he was contented she had at least considered his words.
“Are you ready for what is to come?” she asked.
“You have some insight into the toll such journeys take; you have felt the agonies shaking through me as we traverse Dead Space and pull out of gravity wells. This will be like that multiplied. It will be an ordeal. But, yes, I am ready.”
“How long will we have when we reach this surviving Tok? Assuming he's even there.”
“Little enough, a minute at the most. I will withstand the gravitational pull for as long as I can, and each instant will be an eternity of agony, but I will do all I can.”
“Thank you,” she said. It sounded hopelessly inadequate. “I wish there was more I could do to help.”
A wry smile came to his face, and he looked as though he was about to say something.
“What is it?” she asked.
“It is nothing. Something I have no
