5.
And that was how I came to have a third brother, appearing in the blink of an eye, at a moment where I needed him most. Like Eddie, I think Loui had always been there, but hiding amongst the violent thoughts, the horrific experiences and the suffering that had been my earlier life.
That was his home, his place to hibernate while the normality of life passed us by. While Eddie was always considered the softest of us 3, the one we needed to take care of, Loui was the exact opposite. He was the one who’d spit in the face of danger, welcoming it with open arms and then tearing its throat out.
6.
I listened for anyone outside and when I was sure the coast was clear, left the building. It was already dark, the sun maybe gone 15 to 20 minutes. There was no moon out and the sky was mostly overcast. That made for a very dark night and the lack of people out and about made my escape a lot easier.
There was only one destination for us, a single place we needed to go and end the nightmare once and for all. I don’t know whether either of the other 2 felt the same way, but I needed my father dead. I’m sure you can imagine the anticipation that was building inside me as we stole our way back home.
With Loui back in the shadows of my rage and Eddie offering few words, I headed cross country, mostly to avoid any nosy fuckers driving the roads. There wasn’t a lot of traffic, but the last thing I needed was some cop out and about spotting me. Remember, my clothes weren’t exactly Sunday-best clean. I could smell the bitch’s blood on me and knew I looked as if I’d just finished a dayshift down on the Cider Hill abattoir’s kill floor.
Cross country was OK anyway. I knew which way to head, having walked that way many times before. I wasn’t exactly sure what would happen once we arrived back home but knew I didn’t need to worry about that part. I knew Loui would take over when the time came. All I needed to do was step back and let him assume control. It wasn’t as if I had much of a choice, and thus decided early on that it would be much better for all of us if I simply stepped back and enjoyed the show.
When it came to my father, I knew it was a show I would have paid anything to watch. Whatever Loui had planned was going to be marvellous, a spectacle waiting years to reveal itself. I would have given my ball to watch this unfold.
7.
While I was walking, there was one thing that kept coming back into my mind, and it was something I hadn’t really thought about too much since it happened. It was the day Royce Packard had first raped me. It was the day of the fight with Reedy Thompson, the whole ear-chewing thing and the others.
The others. All of the faces that lined up behind Reedy, staring at me with that same hatred and disgust. They detested me like rat poop in their breakfast. I didn’t know why they all hated me so much, but they did.
School hadn’t been easy for me, particularly after my father had killed my mum. Life became a lot harder after that day, my life nothing more than a horrifying chore, one there was no escape from. The beatings were the easy part, my father dishing them out with regular consistency. It was remembering what he had done to my mother, that was the hard part for me. The pain he put her through, not just the day he killed her, but all the times before then as well.
He had turned her life into a living hell, nothing more than a miserable existence. And by hurting her, he had hurt me, in the worst way possible. There wasn’t much I could do back then, a lonely passenger, forced to watch the horrific show a day at a time.
But now, now that Loui was here, things would be different. Very different. He would make them pay. All of them. Everyone who had ever hurt us, made us feel less than worthy. They would all pay, because Loui was here and he didn’t take shit from anyone.
8.
It felt strange to sneak up to my own house. I was scared, but not because of the dark, or even my father. The fear I felt was strangely pleasant, as if anticipating something wonderful about to happen.
The house was dark and looked abandoned as I walked through the trees towards it. Thick clouds still hung heavy in the sky and because I’d cut across the countryside, approached home from the rear, making my way slowly through the trees.
I could see the back door standing wide open and at first panicked that my father may have already shot through. As I slowly climbed the stairs and stood on the back stoop, the silence sounded sweet. Because that was when I remembered what day it was.
Regardless of what else was happening in his life, my father always went to his friend, Dwight Roberts, on a Tuesday night. It was his poker night and nothing would get in the way.
If I knew my father, he would stay there as long as possible, then stumble home around midnight. If I was right, there was a good chance he wouldn’t even make it up the stairs, collapsing somewhere downstairs and sleeping till at least 12 the next day. It was perfect, giving me plenty of time to calm myself for the event of the decade.
9.
Although I lay on my bed for what felt like hours, I never slept, not feeling the tiniest bit tired. My stomach had that familiar feeling of excited anticipation, feeling Loui shuffle around in the dark. I think he was just
