‘Where did you get it?’ said Luke as he took the bottle. Again, I couldn’t see his face, but it looked like he was staring at the label, as though trying to work out whether it was real. Because we hardly ever got hold of spirits. There’s only one place in the entire town where they let us buy alcohol, the little corner shop on the road behind the quay. But Old Man Miller, who runs it, only ever lets us buy cider. Alcopops. Stuff like that. He won’t sell us anything stronger, no matter how much we beg. Mason even tried wearing a disguise once so he could bag us a bottle of vodka, but Mr Miller just laughed him from the store. He –
Wait. You won’t arrest him or anything, will you? Mr Miller, I mean. For selling us alcohol?
No. Right. Of course. Obviously you’ve got other priorities.
‘It’s my dad’s,’ Mason said. ‘Was my dad’s. He must have blown his dole money at the offie. But I figured we’d need it more than he does. In fact, we’re doing him a favour. The doctor told him he should cut out the booze.’
The bottle had made its way to Cora. She took a swig, and because she was sitting right beside me, I was able to see her grimace. She offered the bottle to me.
‘No thanks,’ I said, and I made to pass it straight to Fash.
‘What’s the matter, Abi?’ said Mason. ‘Worried about sharing our spit?’
He leaned forwards a bit, into the torchlight, and his face … It scared me. Not just because of the way the light was shining – you know how people’s faces look when they hold a torch up under their chin? But also because of his expression. For the first time since we’d been out there, he looked almost … not cheerful, exactly. Excited. And that was the reason I didn’t want to drink. Because I didn’t trust him. Like, why had he even brought it in the first place, that’s what I wanted to know. And saved it until that moment? And yeah, OK, maybe I say dumb stuff sometimes, but I can’t be totally stupid if I figured out he was up to something before it crossed any of the others’ minds.
‘Have some,’ said Cora, oblivious. ‘It does actually warm you up.’
I took a sip. A small one. And I passed the bottle on to Fash. From the look on his face, he was clearly wondering the same thing I was – wondering about Mason, I mean – but he only hesitated for a second. He tipped the bottle back and swallowed. ‘You’re right,’ he said, gasping slightly and screwing his eyes up tight. ‘It’s not as good as a fire, but it’s definitely got a burn.’
‘It does the trick, doesn’t it?’ Mason said, taking another swig himself. ‘It’s just a shame we don’t have any Coke to go with it.’
‘Stop it,’ I found myself saying. Just quietly, and at first I don’t think anybody heard me. Except Cora maybe, who turned her head.
Mason had passed the bottle on again, and it was on its way back round. ‘It’s almost like a regular night out,’ he said, and this time I could hear his grin. ‘All we need is for some old biddy to walk by and give us evils, and for one of us to start puking in the gutter.’
‘Stop it,’ I said again, louder this time.
I saw Mason’s shadow turn its head towards me. ‘Stop what?’ he said, all innocent.
‘Stop acting like you’re enjoying this. Like it’s a … a regular night out.’
He moved forwards enough that I could see his face. ‘Are you not enjoying yourself, Abi?’
‘No, I’m not enjoying myself. We’re not supposed to be enjoying ourselves!’
There was a flash in Mason’s eyes then, where they caught the light of the torch.
The bottle reached me again and this time I didn’t even take it. I just shook my head as Cora held it out.
But then I changed my mind. All of a sudden, I didn’t care any more. I wanted to be drunk. Just completely off my face, you know? So that I wouldn’t feel anything, wouldn’t have to think about anything, least of all what we were doing. Why we were doing it. And when it would end. When, instead of sitting in a hole in the middle of the woods, freezing our arses off because of the rain – and because of the fact we were wearing shorts – we could just go home and … and … and I didn’t know what. Anything. Nothing. Whatever the hell you’re meant to do when your best friend goes missing, and you’re basically waiting for her to turn up dead.
I snatched the bottle off Cora as she made to pass it to Fash, and I tipped my head back as I raised it to my lips. I didn’t even wipe it first. I just swallowed – once, twice, again, until Fash grabbed the bottle away from me, and I collapsed forwards coughing.
‘Jesus Christ, Abi,’ Fash was saying, somewhere off to my left. ‘Are you OK?’
‘She’s fine,’ I heard Mason say. ‘Just getting into the spirit of things. Right, Abi?’
I tried to grab the bottle off Fash again. I don’t know whether I wanted another drink or just to chuck it at Mason’s head.
But Fash moved it away from me. He passed it straight on to Mason.
‘How about some music?’ said Mason. ‘I’ve still got my iPod. Maybe we should listen to one of the playlists Sadie made me.’
‘Dude …’ said Fash, glancing at Luke.
‘What?’
‘Just … I don’t think we should.’
‘No,’ agreed Cora. ‘No music.’ The bottle had come round to her again, and she took a gulp. If I’d had to guess, I’d have said she was feeling the way I was. Just, like, screw it. You know? Like she was determined to get as drunk as
