Yeah.
Yeah, I knew about her running away.
And I’m getting to that, I promise. In fact, I’m almost done. Because then, after that, after the truth had come out, that’s when it all kicked off.
‘You fucked her,’ said Mason, and he took a step towards Fash. ‘My girlfriend. And you didn’t even have the guts to admit it. Not even when the entire town was ready to lynch me – my dad leading the way!’
‘No, Mase, it wasn’t like that. Honestly, mate, I –’
‘Stop calling me that! Stop calling me mate!’
Mason still had the broken bottle in his hand. And right away I could see where things were heading. Because Mason … I mean, he’s no murderer. I swear he isn’t. What I said before we set off, about him being a psychopath – I didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want him being out there. I didn’t want him being anywhere near where Sadie … where she …
I never thought he was capable of killing her. Of killing anyone. But you have to remember what he’d been through. The person he loved most in the entire world was gone. The police were accusing him of murder. And then he finds out that all his friends have been lying to him, and that his best friend slept with Sadie behind his back. So at that moment, after all of that, and after three days being out there in the woods … All I’m saying is, everybody has their limits.
He started forwards. Fash started moving back. I made a grab for Mason’s arm, to try to stop him from using that bottle, and then, the next thing I know, Mason’s pointing the bottle at me. Snarling at me. Raging. And Abi’s screaming, and Cora’s yelling, and I can only imagine how it must have looked.
To an outsider, I mean.
To somebody watching.
And even though I’d known he was out there, I just … I couldn’t …
I didn’t expect it.
My brother. Dylan.
I didn’t know he was still trying to follow us, and I didn’t see him come rushing from the woods.
‘Leave him alone!’ he yelled, as he came charging towards us from the trees.
At first I’m not sure the others recognised him. He was in as bad a state as we were: his clothes wet through, his hair plastered to his head, and his eyes wild with fury.
‘Let him go!’ he shouted at Mason. ‘Don’t you touch him!’
‘Dylan? Dylan, no!’ I reacted before the others did. When I called out, Mason spun, and I saw his eyes go wide. Before anybody knew what was happening, Dylan was standing right in front of us, his knuckles bulging around the handle of Mason’s kitchen knife.
‘Dylan? What are you –’
‘I said leave him alone! Get away from my brother!’ Dylan waved the knife, and Mason stumbled backwards.
‘That’s … that’s my knife. Where did you get that?’
‘I found it! It’s mine now.’
‘Dylan …’ Mason said, but once again my brother slashed the air with the knife. The blade was as long as his forearm.
‘Whoa,’ said Mason, ‘take it easy. Here, look.’ He tossed the broken bottle towards the trees. ‘It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put down the knife, Dylan. You’re going to get someone hurt.’
‘Do as he says, Dylan,’ I told him. ‘Put it down. You shouldn’t have picked it up in the first place!’
‘But it’s his fault!’ said Dylan. ‘All of it. It’s all his fault!’ The whole time, his eyes never left Mason.
There were too many people talking. Cora was saying Dylan’s name, pleading with him, to try to get him to calm down. Fash and Abi were doing the same. And with me and Mason speaking, too … Dylan, he … he wouldn’t have liked it. Everybody barking at him like that … I mean, they probably didn’t even realise they were doing it. But nothing anyone was saying helped.
‘Dylan, listen to me,’ I said, trying to make myself heard. ‘Sadie’s fine. I told you already, she’s fine. She’s … she’s coming back. Soon. We just have to wait a while. That’s all. We have to be brave, and patient, and … and not do anything silly.’
Dylan’s eyes flicked towards me. He kept the knife levelled at Mason. There was only a blade’s length between them.
‘If she’s coming back, why are you even out here? I heard what you said. I’ve been listening! You said you were looking for her. And he said Sadie was dead!’
‘She’s not dead, Dylan, I promise! She’s just … She’s gone away. But she’ll be back!’
Dylan was shaking his head. ‘I saw him,’ he said, still glaring at Mason. ‘He was going to hurt you. The same way he hurt Sadie. I hate him!’
‘Mason, don’t!’
Everybody started moving at once. Dylan lunged forwards, and Fash tried to grab him from one side. Abi was trying to pull Fash away, and Cora was struggling to help Mason. The only thing I had eyes for was that knife, and I’m guessing Mason was thinking the same. But it was just … it was like a bar fight. A brawl, where nobody knows what’s happening. People were grabbing, pulling, just doing anything to try to stop anyone else getting hurt. And it … it …
It didn’t work.
Dylan, he … he was so small, and …
And I don’t know how it happened. One moment I thought I had hold of his arm, the next it was slipping from my grip. So I was flailing, basically. Grabbing anything I could. And all I know – all I really want to tell you – is that everything that happened is my fault. What happened to Dylan, what happened to my sister …
It was me. All of it. It was all me.
I’m the one who killed Sadie, and it was my hand around the knife when it slashed my little brother
