“Miss what, though?” Abi said. “And why are we looking here? The police already came this far, before they turned around and started focusing on the river. Which must have been for a reason, right? They’ve got to know what they’re doing better than we do.”
Mason gave a snort. “The cops haven’t got a clue. Trust me. They’ve been searching the river for days now and all they’ve found is Sadie’s bag.”
He looked at Abi again, the way he was doing before.
Abi swallowed.
“I don’t know, guys,” she said. “I mean, what if Luke’s right? What if we’re kidding ourselves? What if it is all just a waste of time?”
“It’s not a waste of time,” I said. “You were right what you said before. We don’t know Sadie’s dead. And Mason’s right, too—we don’t know the cops are looking in the right place. Not for certain. Maybe . . . maybe Sadie came out here to get away from it all. Just for a walk or something. We know she liked to do that, right?”
I looked at Luke, who nodded.
“So maybe she got hurt somehow. Like, twisted her ankle or something. And she’s lying out here waiting for someone to come and find her.”
I know, I know. But you hear stories about people surviving in the wilderness all the time. Like that guy in the Grand Canyon, who got his hand stuck underneath a boulder. Was it the Grand Canyon? They made a film about it. Me and the others, we watched it together. Except for Abi, who doesn’t really count, because she spent most of the time staring at her phone.
But my point was, why did it have to be murder? Why was everyone—the police, our parents, the entire town—assuming the worst? It could have happened the way I said. I’m not saying it did, but . . . I don’t know. At least it was better than thinking about the alternative.
But Abi didn’t look convinced. She folded her arms across her chest.
“For Christ’s sake, Abi,” said Cora. “I thought you were up for it.”
“I am,” Abi said. “I was.” Her eyes kept flicking toward Mason. “I am,” she settled on. “I guess.”
I turned to Luke then. We all did. Because it felt right that Luke should have the final say.
“Luke?” I said. “What do you reckon?”
He looked at me for a minute, then out again into the woods, before lifting his eyes toward the treetops.
He hooked his rucksack over his shoulder.
“I reckon we should probably get going,” he said. “Before it starts getting dark.”
CORA
AS WE WALKED I kept thinking about what Mason had said. You know, that as far as he was concerned, when it came to Sadie, everyone was a suspect.
And I started to wonder.
About Sadie’s parents, a bit. Because those rumors could have been true. You know, that they did stuff. To Sadie. Or at least that her dad did. You’d never have guessed it, looking at her, or based on anything she ever said. But Mr. S has always creeped me out a bit. He’s just so . . . obsessed. Obsessive. Which I have to say, I used to be jealous of. Having a dad, to start with, not a stepdad who doesn’t even count. But also a dad who actually cares what you’re doing, and always wants to show you off. A mum, too. Not like my mum, who’s basically at the opposite end of the scale. It’s like I told you, I could have been out in the woods for a week already, and she wouldn’t have noticed I was gone. Or if she noticed, she wouldn’t have done anything about it. It’s like, God forbid she take on some fucking responsibility. God forbid she start behaving like a grown-up.
But then, the more I thought about it, maybe what Sadie had wasn’t so great after all. I mean, it wasn’t normal. Was it? And her parents were never like that with Luke and Dylan. So what made Sadie any different? The fact that she was good at stuff? Or maybe, for her dad, that she was a girl?
And then I started wondering about other people, too. Like Mr. Prior, at school, who everyone goes on about being a pedo. And I know for a fact there’s a pedo who lives on Bay Street, because there was that whole demonstration there when people found out. Or maybe he wasn’t a pedo in the end. I can’t actually remember what happened, other than he got beaten up. But my point is, this town is full of weirdos, and those are just the ones you see. Because with people, you never really know, do you? What they’re hiding. What they’re lying about. What it is they might have done.
Which is how I also started wondering about us.
Take Luke, for example. I feel bad now for even saying it, for even thinking it at the time, but my mind just started working by itself. And with Luke I was thinking, how would I feel? If I had a twin and my parents loved my sister more than me. If they spent all their time and attention and their money on her, and treated me like I was nothing more than the live-in help. Look after your brother, Luke. Go see what Dylan wants. For Christ’s sake, will you tell your brother to be quiet?
You know that Dylan was an accident, right? Sadie’s parents only didn’t get rid of him because of their beliefs. Because they’re Catholic, basically. And Luke always said he was an accident as well. He was like the toy in the packet of cornflakes, he reckoned. The buy-one-get-one-free. He never acted like he blamed Sadie, though. What I always thought
