I gulped. Tears were ready to pour out of me.
“So if you go for the hard way – we’re just gonna chuck you down there. You’ll break every bone in that pretty little body of yours and then you’ll slowly set on fire.”
He paused, his face contorting horribly.
“I might even let Carlos have his fun with you first.”
His voice had continued evenly, as if he was talking about what I might choose for dinner. I looked away, swallowed hard. I dug my hands and nails into the red ground, but a few tears still escaped and trickled over my nose.
“If you go for the easy way – we’ll finish it real quick, real painless, then we’ll throw you over afterwards. All we need is for you to write one little note on this here scrap of paper.”
He pulled out paper and pen and set them beside me, causing a puff of dust to float up into the black air.
“It’s up to you love. Have this too,” he said and handed me a cigarette, then lit it in my trembling hand.
With that he walked away, back over to the others.
So my choice was death or… death?
Well fuck that.
I tried to keep my face the same – set in shock. That wasn’t too hard. I stared at each one of them as they stood and chatted, shooting me sharp glances intermittently. They were only a few metres away. My brain ticked over at a furious rate. I had never felt so vulnerable, hopeless ad mortal. But I wouldn’t go quietly. I heard Sammy saying something to Carlos about ‘covering our tracks’ to the other areas and to ‘meet back here’ when he was done. He nodded and set off at pace, his square shoulders rocking back and forth as he went. Sammy lit a cigarette and leaned back against a decaying palm tree so that he could still keep his eyes on me. Danny stood side on, darting his eyes on me once in a while, still nervy looking.
I took a last deep draw, stubbed out my smoke and threw it away. Then I grabbed up the pen and paper and set to writing, furiously. I noticed them clocking this, but I didn’t look up and carried on. When I was done, I set down the sheet and let my free hand drift over the gravel, digging my nails deep in. I straightened my back and hoped for a half chance. I caught them both looking at me at once and I cleared my throat, shouting,
“It’s done. Danny, take it to Sammy please,” I said in a low, emotionless voice.
Sammy gave Danny the briefest of nods. Danny rolled his shoulders and turned on his heel, walking towards me. I had placed the sheet on the ground, about a foot away. Danny moved closer. I held my breath, releasing it as he bent over to lift the sheet of paper. I could see him beginning to read as he knelt over me.
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” he read, mouthing the words.
I chose that moment to make my move. I needed to do this right. My fingers gripped the pen tightly. I swung my right hand from my side in a flash and raised it aloft. Then I lurched, plunging my arm down with all of my strength, stabbing the black biro deep into his left eye.
He screamed, not holding back, not like any tough guy – more like a trodden on cat. Blood flowed freely, the pen actually staying lodged within the socket. He scrambled up, his hands batting at it, still shrieking, blood pissing. Sammy twisted himself out of his lean against the tree, aghast. Jumping to my own feet, I put my left foot in front and clutched the stunned Danny by his collar with both hands. He was an awful sight and he continued to shriek. Blood surged through my body. I felt the electricity of being alive and wanting to stay that way. A buzz of excitement shot through my brain. Then I swivelled, applying every ounce of energy, desire and strength and pulled him towards me. I took another step, using his momentum and flung him over the side. I almost threw myself over too, but managed to stop, loose stones skidding over the side. I paused, watching him fall below, smashing off rocks as he went, screaming, whimpering as he plunged towards death.
Sammy was now inches from me. He hadn’t drawn his gun in his rush. I ducked down, grasping for the biggest rock I could find. I startled him as I took my own step to put us closer together, then threw loose pieces of rock in his face. He clawed at his eyes, giving me the chance to find a bigger chunk of rock, which I shattered against his temple. I thought it would make a bigger impact, but he seemed unfazed as he squinted to see, trying to grab my throat. We struggled and I tried frantically to bat him away as he attempted to place both hands around my neck. Then a trickle of blood did start to appear on the top of his head and ran into his eyes. This seemed to register as his grip loosened and I jumped to the side, breathing hard. He wiped his eyes with a sleeve and fury returned to his face. He lunged at me again with renewed vigour. Then he seemed to remember his gun, pausing and reaching in his pocket for it. In the same moment, I recalled the lump of rock still left in my hand and swung it down on him. It thudded against his skull, making a horrible cracking noise, stunning him. He continued to try and pull out his gun and as he did so I landed my hardest blow yet on his hand, which set
