The door to Carlyle’s upstairs apartment was a solid piece of engineering. Since she didn’t have a spare key, as she’d told Corky, she needed either a cutting torch, a big chunk of explosives, or for him to open the door for her. She pushed the bell on the intercom.
“Evening,” his voice came from the speaker.
“It’s me,” she said. “I’m back.”
“Grand,” he said. “Come on up.” The door’s heavy bolts clanked back. She opened the door and climbed the stairs, Rolf keeping pace.
Carlyle was looking disheveled. By his standards, this meant he’d taken off his suit coat and slightly loosened his tie. He was in the living room, a glass of whiskey in each hand. He extended one to her. She took it and knocked back a mouthful, savoring the fierce heat in her throat.
“You look well,” he said. “No trouble, I take it?”
“It went down fine,” she said. “Just the way Liam said it would. Look, Carlyle, what are we doing here?”
“Sharing a nightcap,” he said, motioning her to the couch.
She took a seat, but kept her back straight, sitting on the edge of the cushion. Rolf eyed her warily, sensing her nervous energy. Carlyle surely saw it too, but he gave no outward sign. He sat beside her on the couch and took a sip of his own drink.
“What the hell was Mickey doing here?” she burst out.
“Observing,” Carlyle said.
“Who? Me? You?”
“Both, I imagine.”
“Whose idea was this?”
“To what, precisely, are you referring?”
“Can we put away the bullshit, just for tonight?” she asked.
He smiled. “Old habits, darling. But I assume you’re talking about the tipoff regarding a shipment of illegal narcotics?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not certain. Liam came to me with his information, but I’m thinking it wasn’t his brainchild. You may have noticed, he’s not precisely the most well-balanced lad in the family.”
“He’ll be dead or in prison in two years,” Erin predicted. “Maybe less.”
“Probably,” Carlyle agreed. “Given Mickey’s presence, I’ve an idea Liam was operating on Evan’s instructions. So you know, I’d no idea he’d be coming until he showed up on my doorstep. I’d have warned you otherwise. He’s rather an alarming lad to come upon unexpectedly.”
“He is that,” Erin said. “So what was it, another test?”
“Partially,” Carlyle said. “I think Evan’s feeling you out, finding what you can and can’t be relied upon to do for him.”
“I don’t work for him,” she said, bristling. “Hell, I don’t work for you.”
“I know that, Erin,” he said, laying a hand on her wrist.
His touch was gentle, but she still almost threw him off. “Do you?”
“Aye,” he said. “It’s simply part of the difficult situation in which we find ourselves. I admit it’d be much tidier if I didn’t love you, but I do.” He gave her a rueful smile. “And I hope you feel the same. But love, as I’m sure you know, isn’t enough. There’s safety to consider, and our respective careers to balance. That means making allowances.”
“I know,” she said. “But I’m not going to break the law for Evan O’Malley, no matter how nicely he asks.”
“You weren’t breaking the law tonight,” he said.
“Yeah, but we traded favors,” she said. “It’s a slippery slope, you know that. Next time it’ll be something a little closer to the line. He’s going to keep maneuvering, keep pushing, trying to get me to cross over.”
“I agree,” Carlyle said.
“What’s the endgame here?” she asked. “This isn’t going to work forever.”
His hand moved down her wrist. He laced his fingers into hers.
“Nothing lasts forever,” he said. “But I’ll stand by you through this trouble, whatever happens.”
Erin saw the softness in his eyes and believed him. But she knew softness wasn’t enough to deal with what they had coming.
“I need to ask you something,” she said.
“Go on, darling.”
“If you have to choose, them or me, what’s it gonna be?”
He didn’t flinch or waver. “If it comes down to it, I’m with you.”
She knew she should lay it on the line, right then and there, challenge him. If there was a chance to pull him out of the Life, she should take it. Right there, in that moment, seeing nothing but love and trust in his face, she thought he’d do it if she asked him.
But she didn’t ask. Because if he tried to leave, they’d kill him. Seeing Mickey Connor face-to-face left her with no doubt whatsoever about that. She wouldn’t ask him to lay down his life for her. That wasn’t fair. And she wasn’t sure she could live with herself if something did happen to him.
“Okay,” was what she said. “That’s what I needed to hear.”
“Grand. Are you wanting a refill?”
She looked down at the whiskey glass and saw it was empty, though she didn’t remember drinking most of it. “Yeah, thanks. But I can’t get too drunk.”
“You’re off-duty, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but I got invited to go out to a bar with some of the fellas from work. At six in the morning.”
Carlyle laughed. “My pub doesn’t serve alcohol at such an ungodly hour. It’s against the law, or so I’m told.”
“Apparently this place does,” she said. “It’s a cop bar, gets the guys just off the night shift.”
“Are you planning on staying up, or getting some sleep?”
“I’m too old to stay up all night, unless there’s a damn good reason.”
“Then I’ll not keep you long,” he said, getting up and pouring another drink from the bottle of Glen D.
“That’s not what I meant,” she said. “If you don’t mind, I could crash here for a few hours.”
“On the sofa?” he inquired, glancing at the piece of furniture she was sitting on.
She smiled. “I don’t think so.”
She hadn’t stayed over at his place before, and she hadn’t meant to suggest it now. It had just slipped out. “If you’ve got a spare toothbrush, that is.”
“You’re in luck,”
