She pushed her cup aside and leaned forward, arms crossed on the table. Her smile had faded, replaced by an earnestness he hadn't expected. "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Plan those things and then not worry about what could go wrong? Or do them in spite of what could go wrong?" The intensity in her voice and in her gaze pulled at him to fix whatever was troubling her.
He set his cup near hers and mirrored her position. "Worrying about something doesn't help. It only wastes time that you could spend doing something else."
"I'm really glad you asked me to coffee. I have a problem and you're the perfect person to ask for advice."
He could see by the look on her face, something was eating at her. And not whether he was going to ask her out. Though disappointed their coffee wasn't a flirt-fest, he was curious.
"Shoot." He nodded for her to continue.
"My brain seems to be wired for worry. It's pretty frustrating. I miss out on things because of it but can't seem to stop."
"What type of things?"
"Trips and experiences, and more everyday type of things that you'd do without a problem. That most people would do without a problem." Rolling her eyes, she sat back. "Never mind me. So, are you ready for the upcoming season?"
Slade glided his hand across the table until the tips of their fingers barely touched. He'd never seen her anything less than confident. Peeling back the layers and uncovering who she was and what made her tick was far more tempting than discussing his readiness to play baseball. "Tell me some everyday-type-of-things you're scared to do."
"This is embarrassing, but I once spent five minutes stuck on a high diving board paralyzed with fear. The lifeguard had to come and get me down."
"That's nothing to be ashamed of. I remember lots of kids being scared of the diving board at the community pool when I was growing up."
"No." She shook her head and color rose in her cheeks. "That happened last summer. I was with some friends and thought I could do it, but when I got up there, well, the board seemed a lot higher than I'd expected."
"Oh."
"Yeah. And I can swim, too. But I couldn't jump." She pulled her hand away. "Last week, one of the kids in the program wanted to be a fireman for a day so we took him to the local firehouse. Everything was fine until they let him slide down the pole. He did great, but wanted me to do it too. I couldn't. I stood there, palms sweating, heart pounding, looking at the gap between the floor and the pole in front of several brave firefighters and felt like the world's biggest baby. But worse, I let him down."
"I'm sure you didn't. Those kids love you."
"Yeah, but they're so brave in battling their diseases. I need to be braver too. Mind over matter, right? But I can't get over the mind part. In my head, I tell myself I can do an activity, but when I get to the actual doing, I can't follow through. It's like something inside me locks up and all the what-if scenarios rush through my mind and I can't move."
"I can help you." The words had popped out before he'd fully thought them through. But he wanted to help her, more than he'd wanted anything in a long time. And helping her would keep his mind off of obsessing over the results of the genetics swab test sitting on his desk and whether his biological family would actually get in touch with him. After years of being alone, maybe it was too much to hope for.
"How?" Savanna's voice pulled him away from his thoughts.
How? He didn't have a clue. All he knew was that he wanted to spend more time with her. "We'll do some of the things you're scared to do. You let me know what you've always wanted to try and we'll do it together. Or I can come up with some ideas too."
"What if we're out doing something and I freeze up and panic?" Her shoulders narrowed and her fingers pressed into the table like her fear had already kicked in.
"I promise I won't get frustrated or leave you behind. We'll talk about why you're scared and get you through it. Despite whatever ideas my teammates seem to have, I research the safest places before I do an activity. You'll be safe with me." He lifted one of her hands and held it in both of his.
Her fingers relaxed, just enough, and her hazel gaze deepened to green. "I'd like to try. But what's in it for you?"
Three years of slow burning interest made his answer easy. "Spending time with you."
Her brows drew together and she laughed, relaxing her shoulders. "Wow, that's... I'm flattered, especially considering what I just told you."
"You told me that you want to face your fears. Pretty damn brave, if you ask me."
That earned him a smile. "You think so?"
"I do. Look, playing baseball is nothing compared to the stress the kids in the program face, but my job is demanding and I have some other things going on that leave me needing to blow off steam. That's where you come in."
"So helping me helps you?"
"If you want to put it that way." He gave into the urge to squeeze her hand and caress the soft skin on top. The warmth of her skin soaked into him like a gentle morning sunbeam. "I like you. I want to spend time with you. It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that."
"There are so many things I want to try. And you'll really hold my hand through it?"
He linked their fingers. "Starting now."
Her hand tightened around his. "Literally and figuratively, hmm? I'll take it. What should we do first?"
"When are you free?"
"I'm having dinner at my parents' tonight, and you probably need to do some things to
