“Olivia and I started this when she was ten or eleven,” Jane went on. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind my telling you that she took her parents’ divorce very hard.”
“She told me,” Jenny said.
“I can’t say taking her to high tea did much good, but I’m sure the extra attention didn’t hurt.” Jane reached over and patted Jenny’s hand. “Listen to me, rambling on and on.”
“I don’t mind.”
The car pulled alongside the curb in front of the hotel, a Beaux Arts landmark in midtown. A doorman in formal livery hastened to open the car door for them, offering Jane a hand to help her out. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Bellamy,” he said.
We’re not in Kansas anymore, Jenny thought, stepping into the opulent lobby.
The hostess also knew Jane Bellamy by name. She led them through an indoor palm court to their table in a bright, elegant tearoom. Murmured conversation and soothing harp music filled the air. Jane beamed at Jenny. “Are you impressed? I wanted to impress you.”
Jenny laughed. “Are you kidding? Definitely impressed. They treat you like a VIP.”
“It’s a privilege of old age.” Jane grew serious. “When Charles and I first moved to the city after we were married, I felt the same way you probably do—lost and confused. The only thing that saved me was knowing my summers would all be spent at Camp Kioga. I want you to know, Jenny, there’s no shame in feeling homesick.”
“I don’t feel homesick. I’d better not.” At Jane’s confused look, Jenny said, “I’d be disappointed in myself if I was homesick.”
“Dear, although we haven’t known each other long, I am your grandmother and I can smell a lie a mile off.”
“But—” Jenny stared down into her cup of tea, warm amber Earl Grey, redolent of bergamot. “All my life, I thought I wanted this. I’d feel like a failure if I didn’t think this was a dream come true.”
“Nonsense,” Jane said. “You can’t force your feelings to do your will.” She smiled wistfully. “I’ve been away from Avalon for fifty years and I still miss it.”
Jenny was stunned. “Why not move back?”
“My life is here because Charles is here. When you’re with the person you love, you’re home. Have you ever been in love, Jenny?”
She thought about Joey, the plans they’d made, and the way everything had shattered apart. “Not that way,” she admitted. “Not in a follow-you-to-the-ends-of-the-earth way.” She took a sip of her tea, faced Jane’s steady gaze. “I was engaged,” she said. “His name was Joey, and he was a soldier in the army.”
“I take it things didn’t work out.”
“He died.” Jane probably deserved a fuller explanation, but Jenny didn’t trust herself to say more without coming apart. She thought about Joey constantly, but all the memories and all her plans didn’t clarify anything for her. God, she thought, and she was supposed to write about this? She couldn’t even say it.
Jane’s eyes softened with shock and concern. “I’m sorry. He must have been so young. It must have been terrible for you.”
Jenny nodded. “I’m all right now. It’s been several years. Eventually, I dated a little.” She was embarrassed to admit how little. “My last boyfriend—Don—was a nice guy. We had fun together. He was an awful driver, though. He got more traffic tickets than anyone I’ve ever known. In fact, I think he eventually skipped town because he didn’t want to pay them. Come to think of it, another guy I dated used to get a lot of tickets, too.” She’d nearly forgotten about Tyler. He hadn’t left much of an impression.
“Oh, dear. Does this mean you’re attracted to reckless men?”
“I don’t think so. They were just unlucky. In the wrong place at the wrong time. Failing to signal, a taillight out… One of Don’s tickets was for not having mud flaps on his truck, can you imagine? Who even knew that was a rule?”
“Avalon’s finest,” Jane said. “Good to know they’re so vigilant. Olivia tells me the chief of police has been especially good to you since the fire. I’m pleased to hear that.”
Uh-huh. And what else had Olivia said? The snitch. Maybe there was a downside to having a sister. “Rourke and I have known each other for a long time,” she said. “He was Joey’s best friend.”
“I see. And how did he come to settle in Avalon?”
The question startled Jenny. “He studied law enforcement in college and then he just…settled there.”
Jane lifted one delicate eyebrow. “And you and Rourke are…close?”
No one was close to Rourke. “Like I said, the two of us go way back, but it’s…complicated.”
“Well. I won’t pry, much as I’d like to,” Jane said, beaming at her.
Jenny laughed, liking this woman more and more. “I don’t mind the prying,” she said, “but there’s nothing to find out. Rourke McKnight and I are… We found out a long time ago that we’re better off staying out of each other’s range. Much better off. I have been conspicuously single for a while.”
Jane carefully blotted her lips with a linen napkin. “I lied,” she said. “I am going to pry. I can’t pretend I know anything at all about the situation, but you don’t get to be my age without learning a thing or two about love. Now, this Joey—I’ll bet he loved you very much.”
Jenny gave a cautious nod.
“He would have wanted you to move on. To fall in love again.”
Jenny stared at her lap. “We talked about it—about the possibility of him not coming back—each time he was deployed. All soldiers do that. They have to. I hated those conversations. And…yes. He always said if he was gone, I should fall in love again.”
“And yet, you haven’t.”
Jenny looked up. She wanted to be angry at her grandmother, to accuse her
