As a cop, he knew how dangerous the job was. He had seen his colleagues killed on account of not pulling a gun fast enough. He knew that being a cop also came with its own share of unfair scrutiny. When Officer Kent showed up at the scene, he knew that some of the cops that had shot Kendrik that day had shot him out of implicit bias and some had not. One side of that war within him felt the honor of wearing the same uniform as the other brave public servants that served with him. The other side of him couldn’t help but wonder when tragedies like this happened, why so many of the faces of those who were killed looked like his.
Aria’s mood while she waited for Taylor to arrive at the café was dark. It was perfectly matched by the depressing wail of the indie music playing on the overhead speakers. Taylor arrived in his typical style, over half an hour late. He pulled up to the parking spot driving a sunshine-yellow Pontiac Solstice. He was dressed from head to toe in a tight-fitting designer suit with oversized glasses and Gucci sliders. He got out of the car in a Hollywood style that suggested there should have been film cameras about. When he reached down to hug her before sitting down at the table, Aria was engulfed in the attar of a cologne that blurred the lines between masculine and feminine.
“You look completely amazing,” Aria said. Instead of a response, Taylor used his hand to frame his face and strike a pose as if to say, I know, I know, darling.
He got up almost as quickly as he sat down, realizing that Aria hadn’t ordered anything yet. “Hey, you want somethin’?” he asked. Aria shook her head no. Taylor guessed that she had declined on account of having no money, so he winked at her and walked toward the counter to buy her something anyway.
He sat back down with an iced coffee and put an iced caramel macchiato in front of Aria. “Did you land a part or something?” she asked, having no other explanation for Taylor’s sudden financial upgrade.
“I wish. No, Daddy’s just rich,” he said, referring to Dan. The café employee came over to the table, carrying a small plate with a cinnamon roll. When he placed it down in front of Taylor, the two of them looked at each other like two hissing cats. “What the hell was that?” Aria asked as soon as the man had left.
“Oh he’s just sissyphobic. Some gay men find other gay men like me simply objectionable.” He enunciated the words “simply objectionable” loud enough that the man behind the counter could hear.
“So where are you living?” Aria asked.
“Well, you remember I moved in with Dan, right? It was better than I expected. I mean, I guess it had to be ’cause I’m still living there! We’re up in Laurel Canyon,” he said. Aria didn’t know where Laurel Canyon was, but from the look of Taylor’s makeover, she could imagine the affluence of the place.
“Are you still taking those acting classes?” Aria asked.
“No … I don’t know; it just wasn’t really getting me anywhere. I kind of gave up acting for now,” Taylor said. Aria could feel the shame in the cadence of his voice.
“So what are you doing every day then?” she asked.
Taylor laughed once before admitting, “I’ve been helpin’ Dan with his thingy and redecorating mostly. Dan has this awful old movie fetish. I’ve let him keep a room all to himself so he can put all his collector pieces there. That way they won’t be littering up the house … Oh, and I’ve been learnin’ to cook. He’s lucky I haven’t burned the whole goddamn house down yet … Besides that, I’ve just been loungin’ around the house.” Aria chuckled to imagine Taylor in the new life he had stumbled into.
“Where are you livin’ now?” Taylor asked.
Aria pointed in the direction of the mini market. “Just over there,” she said.
“No shit?” Taylor said, turning around to look.
“Actually, I found a guy too!” Aria confessed.
Taylor grinned as a substitute for congratulating her. “Isn’t it obvious now you’re gonna have to tell me about ’im? … What’s his name, what’s he do, is he sexy?” he asked.
Aria told him every last detail, down to revealing the fact that Omkar had been the one leaving the things they had found on the hood of the car. When she had dispensed every detail, Taylor’s expression had gone from cocksure to adoring. Words could not describe how happy he was for her. Still, deep down he envied her.
Taylor had abandoned the path toward his dreams because in many ways, through Dan, he had already manifested them. As dramatic as he was by nature, his pull toward the stage and toward the big screen was really just the desire to “make it big.” He wanted to be significant. He wanted a lifestyle that would take him far away from the poverty and insignificance he had experienced in his youth. He had found both significance and wealth through being with Dan.
Still, his life with Dan was not all gifts and glamor. Taylor was embarrassed to admit to being a sugar baby. People who had money or who’d grown up with it just didn’t understand the idea that people like him came from less than nothing. Without the proper support systems, people like himself were forced to consent to extraneous means of digging themselves off the street.
Taylor was not naive enough to forget that for many gay men, the kind of relationship that Dan and he had usually lasted for only one night. For others, a week or a
