And those eyes said it all.
Amor. Amor. Amor.
* * *
I didn’t know how I was supposed to stand aside and watch this happen.
My entire body shook.
An earthquake.
A landslide.
That selfishness that I tried to shuck from my consciousness. To rid from my spirit.
I searched for the kind of strength my big sister had mustered for the last six years, knowing I didn’t have an idea, that I’d never come close, praying I could find a modicum of that bravery.
That I’d possess a shred of the type of self-sacrifice Lily had made.
“You should go and say hi,” I whispered, running my hand through Daisy’s hair where she stood next to me looking at Lily who stood rigid with her arms crossed over her chest about twenty feet away.
The late afternoon sky was chilled, my entire body shivering like it was gonna succumb to the cold.
Daisy danced over to her, stared up into Lily’s eyes with one of those grins that could shatter the earth.
Bright.
Brilliant.
Sunshine.
“Hi. I’m Daisy.”
Lily knelt down in front of her and tipped up her chin. “Hi, Daisy,” she whispered on a tortured breath.
I nearly crumbled.
Daisy giggled and held up her casted arm. “Look, we match.”
Lily brushed her knuckles down Daisy’s cheek. “We do, don’t we?”
“Yup! Did you know I’m a bird? I fly so high. Come and watch me.”
Daisy grabbed Lily’s hand and dragged her down the sloping lawn to her swing set in the middle of the yard.
A sob wrenched out of my throat.
Strong, strong arms wrapped around me from behind, even though one was in a sling. His voice came as a whisper in my ear, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
“I’m falling, Richard. Falling apart.”
His head shook against mine, and he just held me tighter. “It’s okay. You can fall. I’ll be right here to catch you.”
“She’s my life.”
“And you’re mine. We’ve got this, baby. Whatever life throws at us, we’ve got this.”
Daisy’s laughter billowed through the air.
Richard held me tighter. “She’s so beautiful.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is her joy.”
“And you’ve given it to her.”
Lily caught her at the bottom of the slide. “Wow, you did it!” she sang.
“I’m way big, didn’t you know that? And a Tomfoolery, but I’m working on that.”
Lily choked on a laugh.
Sorrow and joy.
Sorrow and joy.
It curled through the air like wisps of clouds.
“Mommy and Mr. Richard! Come play with us!” Daisy waved her unbroken arm in the air.
A haggard sound crawled my throat, and my gaze clawed toward my sister’s.
Agony. Agony.
Richard held me with his hands pressed over my chest. Keeping me upright.
Liliana smiled. This soft, knowing smile. She gestured with her head for us to join them.
Richard took my hand, weaving our fingers together as he moved to my side. Energy sparked. Alive in the air. His dark aura washing through the encroaching night.
In it was warmth.
His ferocity.
His soul.
The man towered beside me where I stood in his eclipse.
“You can do this,” Richard said with soft, soft belief.
I forced myself to walk their way on unstable feet.
The ground rumbled beneath. I thought I could physically feel it getting ready to be ripped out from under me.
“Mr. Richard! Mr. Richard! Are you all better now? Can you go on the slide? My mommy said I’ve got to be so super careful because she can’t take no one else she loves getting hurt. Lords knows I’m a disaster.”
A rough chuckle rolled through my aching chest.
Richard squeezed my hand tighter. “Give me a few days, flower girl, and I’ll be good as new.”
She grinned at the nickname he’d given her, her sweet face glowing, his love flooding out.
“How about I push you on the swing, instead?”
“Oh, yes, that’s a great idea. But you gotta do it high. I’m a bird, not a chicken.”
Lily and I both choked on shocked, consumed laughter.
Both of us on unsteady ground.
Tiptoeing around this meetin’.
My sister looked at me, took my hand where we watched Richard and Daisy play.
The child laughing and laughing.
Her joy filling the air as the day faded away.
“Sit with me?” Lily asked.
I gave her a nod, and we moved over to the back-porch steps that overlooked Daisy’s swing set.
Silence stretched on.
Strung up on the questions.
On the unsurety.
Finally, her voice cracked through the dense, suffocating air.
“I blamed him for so long, Violet. I knew deep down in my soul that he didn’t know. I could never erase his screams that night—when he’d pleaded for them to let me go. But I clung to the hatred for so long, desperate to keep him from you, fearing it would lead you to the same place as I’d been condemned.”
Misery stung the back of my throat, and a tear slipped from my eye.
I could feel her shift to look at me. “I’m sorry for that. For taking him from you. For putting that burden on his shoulders. I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time.”
“That’s not your fault. I just wish you would have relied on one of us. That you would have left with him that morning.”
She laughed out a wistful, sorrowful sound. “So many nights I’d lie awake and wish it, too. Knowing it was too late. That I couldn’t go back. Over those nights, I slowly forgave him, Violet, slowly realized he was just as much a victim that night as me. Used. Manipulated. He would have given anything for me. I see that now.”
I glanced at her. “I would have given anything, too.”
“You gave me exactly what I needed, Violet. Being the best momma that little girl could have. I knew you’d be. All the nights I spent dreaming of her. Loving her. Missing her. And the comfort I had was she had you. That you were her mommy.”
I gasped around the shards of glass lodged in my throat, and the words wrenched through my tears, “It’s been my absolute honor.”
We hadn’t talked about her and Daisy yet other than Lily asking a few things about her.
What she was like.
Her favorites.
Her fears.
I could see the longing swimming
