My bright star that had gone dim.
I struggled for clarity as I let us into the darkness of the sleeping house.
“Shh,” I whispered as if the baited silence echoing back needed to be acknowledged. But the last thing I needed was for my daddy to come face-to-face with Richard having the nerve to come stand under his roof.
As it was, I’d been worried the man was going to have an aneurism when I’d told him what had happened—that Daisy had hurt her arm and Richard was driving us to the emergency room—that vein at his temple thumping like mad and gettin’ ready to burst.
I hadn’t stuck around for the lecture that I’d known was coming. It wasn’t like I didn’t already know exactly what my daddy would say.
“This way,” I muttered, heading for the stairs. They creaked as we ascended, but I was worried it was the thunder of my heart that was going to wake the entire house.
Richard didn’t say anything.
He didn’t need to.
His presence profound.
Loud.
Already proclaiming that he was there.
At the landing, I took a right and ushered Richard into the room across from mine that had been Liliana’s.
He slowed for a second, glancing down at me, this hard, tortured turmoil in his eyes.
Did he get it?
The pain I’d endured?
His thick throat bobbing with his heavy swallow, he tore his gaze from mine and carried Daisy inside.
The room had been redone since the last time he’d been there. It was now a painted oasis of rainbows and flowers and unicorns.
Magic.
Just like the little girl.
Richard’s gaze darted around, taking it in before he moved to her bed that we’d made to look like she was floating on a cloud in that blue, blue sky.
I pulled back the covers, and he set her onto the mattress.
“She needs a bath but I’m pretty sure she would lose it if I woke her up right now,” I said quietly, rambling more than I should. “She never wants to go to sleep and then she’ll fight you tooth and nail if she has to get up.”
He nodded, voice rough, sage eyes caressing over me. “Rest is probably more important right now. It’s been a hard day. I think she had to have been in a lot more pain than she was letting on.”
I returned a nod. “I think so, too. She doesn’t want a thing to slow her down.”
A soft smile played across those full, lush lips that sent a tremor racing through me, the shadows in the room dancing along with it. “Not sure a thing could. She’s a force to be reckoned with.”
I fiddled with my fingers. “She sure is.”
God, this was awkward and horrible. Because I needed him to leave and the only thing I wanted to do was beg him to stay.
A fool.
A fool.
“She’s tough. A fighter,” Richard grumbled in this low drawl. Showing just a hint of that southern accent he’d all but lost. “Brave.”
He touched her forehead.
Gently.
Looking down at her with affection.
With this adoration I didn’t understand.
My heart tumbled in my chest.
He ran his fingertips down her chubby cheek, and it was sorrow that came spilling out of his mouth, “Beautiful. So damn beautiful, Vi.”
I gulped for the nonexistent air, and shivers raked through the length of my body.
Hurt wept from my soul, colliding with the old love I’d buried deep, where I’d held it there knowing it would never die.
It’d been too big and beautiful to ever succumb into nothingness, yet not strong enough to keep him there.
Had he been immune to it?
Had it been fake?
My stomach toiled in rejection because it’d felt so real to me that him not feeling it too seemed impossible.
Richard straightened, his spine going rigid, every muscle in that gorgeous body flexing and bowing as if he’d just gotten pummeled by every thought I’d had.
As if he felt the turmoil.
Did he know? Did he know?
“I should go,” he said, barely able to glance at me. “I sent Rhys a text to pick me up. He should be here in a bit.”
I nodded frantically. “Okay. Thank you.” The last two words gushed out.
True in their form.
Thank you. Thank you.
He edged my way. Each step sent a tremor rocking through my body. Sage eyes caressed me slow. Lust and greed and shame.
He came to a stop just to the side of where I stood, and he angled in low, rough words grazing my ear, “Don’t thank me, Violet. We both know I’m to blame.”
There was no questioning what he was referring to had nothing to do with what had happened today.
He ripped himself away and headed out the door.
I squeezed my eyes closed almost as hard as I squeezed my fists. Praying for sanity. I could almost hear my daddy calling, Make good choices.
But I wasn’t feeling quite so rational right then.
I guessed that sometimes things just needed to be said. They could no longer be held or quieted or contained.
Pulse a thunder, I rushed out into the hall where Richard was getting ready to take the stairs. “I didn’t think I was going to make it. When you left me, when you walked away, I didn’t think I would make it.”
He froze, his hand on the railing, his head tipping toward the ground.
Impaled by my confession. Bound by the pain that bled through the admission. While I remained in the darkness of the hall. Wishing I could hide.
From what he’d done.
From the way he still made me feel.
From the fact he was there, destroying me all over again.
Richard warred. His lithe body rippled, sinewy muscle flexing and bowing and twitching.
With restraint or repulsion, I couldn’t tell which.
But I realized I had none of it.
Restraint.
“How could you just wake up one day and not love me anymore?” The words quivered and shook with hushed misery. “Because I’m still waitin’ on the day when I wake up and I’m no longer in love with you.”
I had no time to prepare myself.
No
