I was fairly sure she stomped her foot.
And I realized I was grinning when I turned around, took the long dirt drive, and pulled out onto the road.
Like the dormant violet inside of me decided it was time to come to life.
Nineteen
Violet
What had I done? What had I done?
I was barely breathing when I stumbled back into the house. My daddy was there, concern disguised as disappointment etched on his face. Like that man was written on me. His touch leaving the glow of neon imprints all over my skin.
I figured my swollen, reddened lips were proof enough.
What was I doing?
Despair swept through me, and my shoulders sagged as I leaned back against the door the second I closed it. My head banged against the wood.
Several times.
Where the hell was my resolve?
“So?” my father asked from across the room.
“So, we’re going to go to dinner to talk through the past. Figure out how we can get on until the wedding is through. Gonna have to be around him until then. He and I have some things we need to hash out.”
At least that’s what I was telling myself.
He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “I have a bad feeling, Violet.”
“We have unfinished business. We need to finish it. That’s it.”
Sniffling, I rubbed the back of my hand under my chin that felt crusty with the tears that had dripped down my face. I had been tugged through so many emotions out on that porch that I didn’t know what I felt.
Need.
Hurt.
Sorrow.
Fear.
Unrest curled in my belly.
What the hell was he talking about? Protecting us? Not going anywhere?
I wanted to reject it. Chalk it up to another flimsy, lame excuse. But I knew him well enough to know there was something there.
I could feel his agitation.
The burden on his shoulders.
“I…I’m going to go check on Daisy.”
I headed up the stairs, but I had another destination in mind. Needing to go to the one who always understood.
My lifeline.
My buoy.
My advocate.
I climbed to the top of the stairs, slowing when I got to the landing, my steps suddenly dragging with the weight of the reality I wasn’t ready to face. The thought of losing her, too, ripped that hole inside me wider. Demons clawing and grasping and tearing away more of what was most important to me.
Leaving me gaping and bleeding out.
I eased up to her door. The floor creaked under my footsteps, and I peeked in to find her already looking at the doorway. Expecting me. Anticipating me.
“Come sit with me, my angel.” She patted the bed with a frail hand.
A torrent of sorrow swelled in my chest. An eternal spring that would gush forever.
Under it, it felt impossible to breathe.
Her grayed hair was matted and stringy, her hazel eyes deep set in the shallow pools that sunk in her pallid face.
It didn’t matter. It would still be the loveliest face that I’d ever seen.
Choking back the tears I could feel burning in my throat, I eased inside and moved over to her. “Hi, Mama.”
I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Lingering. Wanting to stay in the warmth of who she was forever.
Finally, I peeled myself back to look down at the woman who’d always had every answer.
She smiled up at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I heard you had a visitor.”
I sighed and sat down on her bed, facing her, bringing my knees to my chest like it could hold the brittle pieces together. Every crack running through the middle of me aching like mad. “He brought Daisy a present from him, Mabel, and Emily.”
She hummed. She didn’t believe for a second that was the full story.
A sigh pilfered free, and I hugged my knees tighter. “He kissed me. Last night and today,” I admitted in a rush, cheeks blazing with embarrassment.
“That’s that boy’s way, isn’t it? Sweeping in like a storm that hits in the middle of the night without warning, and you can never tell what kind of damage has been done until the sun comes up in the mornin’.” She said it with a soft smile. Disappointment and affection.
We’d all loved Richard Ramsey which was probably why my daddy had come to hate him so much. Because he’d put his trust in him even when he’d swept me up in the whirlwind that was his life.
“I’m afraid if I let him, he’ll demolish me again. All of us.” My gaze shifted out the door into the hall where we could hear Daisy playing in her room. Her imagination running wild as she prattled on to herself. “And I don’t want to walk blindly in the night.”
Understanding moved through her expression.
“And what’s he saying, Violet?”
My lips pursed. “He’s actin’ like he wants me back.”
“And what do you want?”
I choked out a laugh. “Not to be a fool. Not to stumble out and get lost in his darkness.”
The man a total eclipse.
Awestriking.
Earthmoving.
Heart-altering.
A curtain pulled over your eyes so quickly you were caught unaware.
“He left me with nothing.”
A lame excuse and a faulty explanation.
That and a shattered heart.
She reached out and curled her hand around my ankle, her voice rough and low and filled with emphasis. “You are no fool. Not even close. But you are not driven by the sensible. You are driven by the sensation. By the feeling you get buzzing through your veins. Are you listening with your heart? What are you feelin’ right now?” she asked, those dark eyes searching me with their unending warmth. With her belief and hope.
“Terrified.”
It was the bare, basic truth.
Sympathy pulsed through her expression. “That should probably tell you something.”
My head shook, knowing how crazy it was. “I think he’s in trouble, Mama.”
A frown pinched her brow. “What kind of trouble?”
I hugged my knees tighter, mind spinning as I tried to add up the pieces he’d given. The secrets he held. “That, I don’t know. But whatever it is? I think it just might have been bad enough to rip us apart.”
Anguish flayed through my
