She disappeared inside, and my stomach clutched when I saw the light flicker on through the window upstairs a moment later.
Sorrow smacked me across the face.
Every dream that we had wished.
But that’s what happened when you cast lots.
When you made bad bets.
When you thought for even a second something else might be more important than this.
You lost.
* * *
Fifteen minutes later, I was driving up the narrow one-lane road that led to my childhood home. No chance could I show face back at Emily and Royce’s party tonight.
No doubt, Emily was itching to string me up by the balls.
Would deserve it, but still, I wasn’t looking for a fight. She and I had had it out enough as of late. The lies I’d been telling, the dark space I’d been keeping her in, making her question my motives.
Her trust.
When I’d been pushing her to sign with Mylton Records when she didn’t understand my reason—my desperation behind it—coming off like a complete prick, like someone who hadn’t given a shit about her hopes and dreams and wants when it was the farthest from the truth.
It’d fuckin’ sucked.
But I’d tell lies until my mouth rotted off if that’s what it took.
My fucking head throbbed. Body aching and spirit moaning. Missing and missing and missing.
The road came to a fork at the top of the hill. Rhys’ childhood home was on the left, ours was on the right.
Taking the right, I eased up to park in front of the darkened house. The unassuming two-story was done in natural stained woods, quaint and peaceful and close to plain, the home surrounded by trees.
The stalls and barns were out back, and our younger brother, Lincoln, had a house he’d built out on the farthest section of the property.
I physically cringed when I saw Royce’s rental car parked at the side of the house.
“Shit,” I mumbled as I put the truck in park and killed the engine.
Wary, I climbed out.
Instantly, I felt the stir in the air. The hostility and anger and confusion.
She had every right to them.
She was sitting on the top step, and Royce was leaning on the railing off to the side.
Two of them waiting.
Royce cut me a glance of apology.
He was doing this for his fiancée.
I pushed out a sigh and roughed a hand through my hair. “Fuck…I messed up your party.”
Emily pushed to her feet.
“No. The evenin’ was over, anyway. We stayed until everyone left.”
“And weren’t you supposed to be staying at the hotel tonight?”
I hiked a brow.
Royce chuckled. “Don’t worry…we’re heading back. Doubt very much your parents want to hear what I have planned for Emily tonight.”
Emily huffed at him, but it was in pure affection. “Royce.”
He shrugged. “What?”
“Do you have to be so crass all the time?”
“Uh…yes?”
A light chuckle fell from my tongue. Two of them this perfect contradiction.
She turned back to focus on me. Even through the lapping darkness, I could see the concern on her face. “I don’t understand, Richard. What did I see back there? Why would you treat her that way? She was my guest.”
My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip to keep from shouting a thousand curses. To stop myself from giving her information she couldn’t have. “What happens between Violet and me is between Violet and me. I told you that before.”
“Yeah, and what happens between she and I should be my own business, too, shouldn’t it? I invited her—one of my best friends—someone I care about deeply.” She touched her chest in a plea. “And you made her feel like an outcast. Like some kind of reject.”
My own frustration burned through my blood. “I asked you not to invite her, Emily. That was my one request, coming here and staying here, and you did it, anyway. Imagine my surprise when I saw her standing across the room. Can you not give me that one ounce of respect?”
“It was my engagement party.” She looked at me in disbelief.
Yeah, and this was our lives.
My head shook in frustration.
“I know that, Emily. But I asked you not to invite one person. One fucking person, and you couldn’t give me that.”
“I’ve been asking you to let me in for years. Beggin’ you to make me understand why you would do this. What you’re going through. I know there’s something there, and after everything? After Cory getting arrested and us being signed with Stone Industries instead? After you know what happened to me? And you still keep me in the dark?”
“Fuck,” I muttered, looking toward the ground like it would afford me patience. Or maybe I could find a hole and bury myself to escape the guilt that was going to eat me alive.
No atonement for what had been done.
Emily and I had gone round and round for the last few years.
Fighting.
Me coming off like a prick at every turn.
But she didn’t understand what was at stake.
That I had always been on her side.
That I wanted nothing more than to make this better.
I hadn’t known the brutality she’d been subjected to because of me.
What that bastard Cory Douglas had held over her, used as twisted manipulation.
I couldn’t wait to see that fucker burn. She wanted answers for those pictures I was in. Problem was, those were answers I still couldn’t give her.
That was what happened when your life was made up of lies. When you’d been cut off at the knees, bartered through blackmail and intimidation.
I took a step toward her, my head angled low in a bid to reach her. “You think I keep you in the dark to protect myself, Emily? Because I’m some twisted fuck keepin’ deranged secrets? I keep you in the dark because it’s the only chance I have of making this right.”
“I know that. I just don’t understand what it has to do with Violet,” she begged. “Why you would treat her that way. She was…”
She trailed off, but I knew.
She was amazing.
Kind and good and genuine.
Every-fucking-thing I’d wanted and had proved I didn’t
