“My tiny sister scared you?” TJ scoffed.
“Terrified is more like it. I was afraid I’d . . . mess it all up. I thought she’d leave me anyways once she saw I wasn’t . . . enough for her. That she’d want more someday and I’d never be able to give her that.”
TJ studied him.
“We found a picture in my truck the same day the blood was spilled all over it. The photograph was one of Belle and me. Someone is coming after me and I don’t want her caught in the crosshairs.”
TJ nodded. “You didn’t think she deserved to know?”
“She did—does. And I’d really like to try to make it right.” Bently held his breath. He needed things to be okay between him and TJ.
“What if she doesn’t want you back? My sister doesn’t give out second chances, and you’ve already had one. Statistically, you have no chance to get back with her.” TJ shrugged.
“Even if she won’t accept me, I just want her to understand why I did what I did. So she won’t think it was anything to do with her. I don’t want her second-guessing and thinking she’s anything less than perfect the way she is.” Bently’s throat burned as emotion choked him up.
“So, what’s the plan?” TJ asked.
“I’m gonna figure out how to get her to talk to me, and then I’ll tell her . . . everything.” Bently shrugged.
“Good luck with that.”
“I have your approval?” Bently asked, surprised.
TJ shrugged. “I mean, if what you say is true, then you’re exactly the man I thought you were. But . . . right now it’s just words.”
Bently nodded. “You’re right. But I promise, I’m in this for the long haul. I’m gonna be there from now on for both of you. Even if she doesn’t want me, after all is said and done, I’m still here for you, TJ.”
TJ cleared his throat. “Means a lot. And thanks for not, you know, arresting me.”
“You’re a good kid. We all make mistakes, and we all deserve some grace. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that in the future,” Bently warned.
“I won’t. I’ve never seen that look on her face before. Not even when the worst of the worst happened to us. I can’t believe I almost . . .” TJ covered his mouth with his hand. Conflict flashed in his eyes, as if he wanted to say something more.
Bently clapped a hand on the young man’s back. “We all fuck up sometimes. All we can do is get back up and try harder next time.”
“Your life’s motto, I’m assuming?” TJ chuckled.
“Something like that.” Bently laughed. He’d honestly thought he’d lived his life by that statement. In truth, maybe he’d always been keeping one foot on the other side of the fence while sinking deeper into self-pity. He’d been weighted down by guilt he shouldered out of self-imposed obligation. He’d figure a way through it somehow. Because from now on, he was all in.
And he’d start with winning back the woman he loved.
Chapter 38
Belle
Turning down her street, Belle glanced out the window as “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” played on the radio. Big snowflakes fell from the dark sky, reflecting in her high beams. The holiday lights of her neighbors lit the street like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Decorated Christmas trees sparkled from windows. Red and silver candy canes reflected off streetlamps. This was supposed to be the most cheerful time of year, yet she was anything but. She pressed her hand to her chest to stifle the twinge of longing. The back of her eyes burned as she swallowed the emotion down.
“TJ is safe and healthy. I have a great job. TJ graduated with honors.”
Three things she was thankful for. Gratitude was her buoy when she was drowning in pain. She’d had a lifetime of hurt, but this time was different. For the first time in her life, she’d experienced true heartbreak.
Figures. The one time I actually open up enough to love someone, my heart chooses the most unavailable man on the planet.
Seeing him in the school’s auditorium a few days ago during TJ’s graduation had brought her relief and devastation. He’d come through for TJ after all. She’d taken the coward’s way out, shuffling towards the exit with the crowd and texting TJ to meet her in the car once he was done saying goodbye.
All she wanted was someone to be there when she needed them. A port in the storm. Someone to help shoulder the burden, who would understand that she was not her past. She’d thought Bently was that man. But maybe she was better off alone. It was better to be lonely than feel like this again.
She switched her blinker on and pulled into her drive. Her headlights illuminated a hunched-over figure on her porch. She sucked in a breath. Bently.
He looked up as he stood, causing her belly to flicker and tip. Fluffy white snowflakes stuck to his head and shoulders as he waited. Her core ached. The man was as sexy as ever. His black hair was a disheveled mess, sticking out over his forehead like he’d been running his hands through it. His beard had been trimmed since she’d last seen him. Why did he have to look so good?
Why is he here? What does he want? Maybe it has to do with TJ.
She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the dangerous yearning within her. Belle grabbed her bag and opened the door. The blast of chilly wind blew against her skin, sending a shiver through her. The crisp clean air changed the closer she walked to him, growing heavy with anticipation—with unspoken pain and dashed hope, with broken trust and warning.
She stopped a few feet in front of him. The porch light behind him edged him in shadows, much like the man she’d come to know.