When I got in the Jeep, I glanced down at my phone with thoughts of calling Avery, but I needed to see her. A phone call wouldn’t do.
I drove across town to her apartment and looked for signs that her sister might be visiting, but Dillon’s truck wasn’t around, and it was too far for her to walk. Dillon had been with Micah in Micah’s car, so I guessed that she’d be alone.
I took a deep breath and got out, knowing I had a lot on my mind and we needed to have a deep conversation. I hoped she was ready for it.
She must have seen me drive up because she met me at the door. “Hey,” she said with a hint of surprise in her voice. “I didn’t expect you.”
She was wearing a long T-shirt and knee socks, with a blanket wrapped around her arms, and she still looked like a goddess.
“Is it a bad time?”
“No, it’s perfect,” she said, stepping away from her door to wave me in. “I was just thinking about calling you. I feel so stupid for what happened earlier. I shouldn’t have bailed the way I did. But Will is good friends with Dillon, and I didn’t want him to tell him.”
“Well, it’s too late for that,” I said as I followed her in. She offered me a seat. “Now we just have to wait and see if Dillon tells Clara, and if he’s a smart man, he won’t try and keep it from her.” I had learned how important honesty could be in a relationship, and I was there to tell her the truth about the rumors.
“He’s supposed to be back in town. She called earlier, excited he was getting to come home early.”
“Yeah, I know. I just had a beer with him. He knows everything by the way. He thanked me for taking care of you the other night just before threatening to whip my ass if I did anything to hurt you.”
She smiled as she sat down beside me. “That’s Dillon, all right. He’s got a sister of his own, so he’s really good in the sibling department.”
“I told him I want to be with you.” I waited for her reaction.
Her face fell from a smile to a much more serious look. “You did? I mean, you do?”
I moved closer and took her hand. “Of course. I know everyone sees me as a player. Hell, you even said it yourself at the party, but I’m not playing games with you, Avery. I haven’t been. And I was serious earlier. I’m scared I’ll fuck this up, but I don’t want to let that fear hold me back anymore.”
I had made up so many excuses why I should hold back, but I realized that it was my fear keeping her at arm’s length and pushing her back every time we took a step forward.
“But what about rugby? I thought your coach and your team was on your back about us.” Her eyes were filled with sadness and confusion.
“I can play the game and be crazy about you, too, can’t I? I mean, you can handle it, and your coach isn’t trying to run your personal life.”
“Actually, I think she’d rather me focus only on the game. But she doesn’t say so. I just don’t want to cause any problems with you.”
“You’re not. And don’t worry about that. I’m not worried.” I wished I hadn’t even told her that. “Coach can’t tell me what to do, and I already told him that you wouldn’t get in the way. You make it all better anyway.”
“Why has it been so hard for us to get our act together?”
“Because of me. I’ll take the blame. I haven’t ever had anything good that I didn’t mess up. I know you hear a lot about Layla and me, but people don’t know where we came from or the truth about how we ended up at Pro-U to begin with.”
“What do you mean? Did you come here together?”
“Yeah, I’ve known her since we were both in high school. We came from the same kind of home, both with abusive fathers, and when we realized that we could use sports to get into college, we both jumped at the chance. But Layla had a much harder time getting away from that than I did.”
“But you have? I mean, your father isn’t still giving you a hard time, is he?”
“I haven’t talked to him in a long time, so no, it’s long past.” I didn’t want to get into my personal life so much that I mentioned Bryan or losing him. I wasn’t ready to go there, not yet, and knew I’d eventually have to tell her everything. “It’s not an excuse for what I did to Layla, but I couldn’t deal with her getting sucked back into her problems, and so I strayed. I’m not going to lie. I felt like shit every time. I wasn’t doing it to hurt her, but again, I know it’s no excuse.”
“Look, I don’t want to date a cheater, so I won’t put up with that, but there’s more to the rumor. Something my sister said that really surprised me.”
“Yeah, I can guess. Lay would show up with bruises, but they weren’t from me.”
“Her father hit her?”
“Again, it’s not my story. I really shouldn’t go into it, and that’s why I don’t correct the rumor.” I felt my chin quiver a bit as my emotions got the best of me. “How could anyone think I’d hit her? They don’t know me at all. My mother raised me right—in spite of him.”
I looked at Avery, and she was staring back at me with her mouth agape and sympathy in her eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“Layla had tried to tell people different things, and she never blamed me, but people want to make up what they want. I ignore it. I wasn’t perfect to Layla anyway. Both of us took out our
