“But at the last minute, my instinct said something was wrong. So I ran after them. I didn’t make it. The explosion … it leveled the entire building. It was chaos … people running in the opposite direction as I tried to get to my team. There were too many, and they were trampling me. I was getting hurt, so … my bear took over. I don’t remember much, but I’ve seen some footage. It wasn’t pretty.” He grimaced. “It took three rounds of tranquilizers to stop me. And when I woke up, I was told my entire team perished. At least we thought so. One member survived. He’d been trapped in the building for three days.”
It’s like he’s come back as a shell of himself. J.D.’s words made so much sense now. “Oh, Damon.” She didn’t know why, but she took a step forward and placed a hand on his cheek. “It wasn’t your fault. It was the terrorists who blew up that building.”
“I was the commanding officer.” His jaw remained set, but he turned his face to nuzzle at her palm, a move that made electricity shoot up her arm. Then he froze and pulled her hand away. “They put me on leave, and I went to all the shrinks and doctors they told me to go to. I wanted to be well. And to get back into action. After six months, I thought I was getting better. Hated crowds, still do, but I was getting better. Until …” He took a deep breath. “Only Gabriel knows about this. It was covered up. But … if you want to stay away from me after you hear this, I’ll understand.”
“What happened?” She was itching to know. “Please, just tell me.”
“I don’t want to, because I don’t want you to know what a monster I truly am, but I will because you deserve the truth.” Soulful green eyes bore into her. “I was out with my buddies, these guys I went to boot camp with. We were at a bar outside Fort Carson and these base bunnies, er, girls were there. They were … friendly.”
She grimaced, which made him wince. Clearing her throat—and trying to ignore that ugly, jealousy rising up in her—she said, “Go on.”
“I went home with one of them. So, we’re at her place. On her couch. And I … The Demon starts going crazy. That’s not something normal. See, it’s taboo for animals to make their presence known when, uh, their human sides are getting intimate.”
“It’s not?”
“It’s just not done; it’s their instinct to leave shit like that alone. They don’t get involved in our sexual lives. But my bear … it wouldn’t stay away. I tried ignoring it, but when I did, it only got louder and more violent. I … shifted again without meaning to. I lost control, blacked out. When I woke up … I was in the base hospital.”
“A-and the woman?”
“She got scared and ran away, but Command had her tracked down. The general at the time did all he could, used every resource, to make sure she didn’t say anything about what happened. Shifters like me—the ones in the military—we’re too valuable. They didn’t want a scandal, so they covered everything up. But I was discharged after that.” He buried his face in his hands. “I can’t … that’s why I can’t claim you as my mate … I could hurt you. I nearly did that night we kissed.”
“But you didn’t hurt her, and you didn’t hurt me,” she pointed out. “And as for your guys … that’s not your fault. Like you said, you got bad intelligence and you tried to help them.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that five good men died, and I ruined the life of a good friend,” he said. “I was their commanding officer.”
God, the hurt in his eyes was too much. Her throat was burning with tears for him. “I’m so sorry, Damon. I had no idea … thank you for telling me all this. It can’t be easy.”
“You deserve to know the truth. It doesn’t excuse the way I’ve been treating you. I promise to be better. But now you know why I can’t … why we can’t be together. I can’t risk it. I can’t risk you.”
The finality of his words plucked at her chest, making it ache fiercely. She had only known they were mates five minutes ago, and yet something inside her screamed that this wasn’t right. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“I’ll find a way for you to keep the job, while avoiding each other. I’ve done it this week, so I can keep out of your way until you’ve found something else.”
She watched him turn on his heel and walk away from her. Again, there it was. In her mind. In her heart. Her entire being saying, no, this was wrong. She’d never felt like this, perhaps because for the first time in her life, there was finally something in her life worth fighting for.
“Damon!” she called as she sprinted after him. “Stop! Please.”
He turned around. “What—mmm!”
Her body propelled into him, and he caught her just in time as she leapt up to kiss him. Oh my. Her arms snaked around his neck; her mouth desperate as she pressed her lips against his. He didn’t respond, at least not for the first two seconds. But soon, his mouth moved under hers. Hands lifted her up, and she had no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist.
He let out a soft growl, nipped at her lips, then devoured her mouth. The kiss deepened, his tongue slipping between her teeth to coax hers out. God, he tasted like the warm sun and grass and nature, and every delicious masculine thing she could think of. Everything about this moment, the way their mouths
