I kiss him to get him to stop talking. I don't want to talk about our relationship right now. It just makes me sad, and I don't want to be sad. I want to make the best of the time we have together. And so we do.
Aiden makes loves to me, but it's different than last night. The passion is still there, but there's also this undeniable feeling of love. It's almost too much for me. I don't want to feel like he loves me, only to have it taken away when we get back to New York. Why does it have to be this way? How can he make me feel so much love—make me believe that it's real—and then tell me we can't be together?
As I spend the day picking up trash, my mind keeps going back to Aiden.
"What's going on with you today?" Bess asks, stabbing a gum wrapper with the trash stick. "You keep walking by trash and not picking it up."
"I'm kind of out of it." I stab my trash stick into a banana peel and release it into the bag.
"Want to talk about it?" Bess asks.
In the short time I've been on trash duty, Bess and I have become friends. She's a talker, and not afraid to open up. She's told me all about her ex-boyfriends, including the last one who left her with two kids and no child support. She can't find him and doesn't think she ever will, so she had to move back in with her parents.
"It's Aiden," I say as we walk farther down the road. The other workers are down in the trees. They're all guys. Bess and I are the only women.
"What about him?" she asks.
"We were supposed to have this romantic weekend, and we did, until he told me we can't tell anyone about us when we're back in New York."
"Why can't you tell anyone?"
I explain the story, starting with how I had to work with Celine on the client dinner and ending with what Aiden said last night.
"He didn't end it with her," Bess casually says as she spears a plastic bag with her stick.
"No. He did. He just thinks if she finds out about us, she'll ruin this deal he's trying to do at work."
"That's just what he tells you."
"What do you mean?"
She stops and turns to me. "He's lying to you. He's still with the other girl but he doesn't want you to find out."
"Aiden wouldn't do that. He has no reason to. If he wanted to stay with Celine, he could just tell me."
"And miss out on weekend sex with another woman?" She huffs. "You don't know men very well." She walks off, heading to some trash piled up by the side of a tree.
I meet her over there. "What are you saying? That Aiden is just using me?"
"Yep." She shrugs. "But hey, don't feel bad. It happens to all of us. My ex had me convinced he was working nights at the gas station. Turns out he was hooking up with his co-worker." She stabs a beef jerky wrapper with her stick. "I kept telling him I smelled perfume on him. He told me I was making it up just to start a fight. So one day I followed him, and sure enough, he drove straight to her apartment building."
"What did you do?"
"I waited for them to come out." She rolls her eyes. "His face was attached to hers as they walked out."
"Did you confront him?"
"Not until he got home. He denied it. Said I was making it up. We got in a big fight about it."
"Is that when he left?"
"No. We made up after he promised to never do it again. But then he did, with someone else. The point is, men cheat. They all do. It's just who they are. They like having more than one girl, and having one in a different town is even better. Less to worry about."
"I know a lot of people in relationships who don't cheat."
"That you know of," she says, going back to the road. "Let the guys do the stuff by the trees. Too many bugs down there."
"Aiden wouldn't cheat on me. That's not why he's doing this."
"If it makes you feel better, then go ahead and believe that," she says, reaching down to pick up a water bottle. She drops it in the sack. "Ugh, it was covered in slime. I just got it all over my glove."
"Go get a new one."
She walks down to the truck that has our supplies.
What she said about Aiden isn't true. He cares about me. He wouldn't cheat on me. He wouldn't still be with Celine. He doesn't even like her anymore.
But that night at the client dinner, they seemed like a couple. Aiden is either a really convincing actor or he's still with Celine.
What am I saying? He's not with Celine. Why am I even letting my mind go there?
When I'm done with my shift I go back to the inn, exhausted, but looking forward to another evening with Aiden. I'm still not happy we can't be together in New York but I'm over my anger and just want to have a nice time tonight. Dinner. A walk downtown. Then back to our room for a repeat of this morning.
"Sophie!" Tom calls out, catching me before I go upstairs.
"Yes?" I turn around.
"Did you get Aiden's message?"
"What message?"
"He had to go back to New York. You just missed him. He said he texted you."
I check my phone. He texted me five times but I didn't see the texts because I don't have a signal outside of town where we were picking up trash today. His texts all say he's sorry, but none of them say why he had to leave, other than a vague excuse about having to work. What could be that urgent that he'd have to leave and rush back?
"Did he say why he had to
