Rushing through the halls, I felt like smacking myself in the face. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I hadn’t been thinking clearly since that fateful day in Oregon when I’d been dragged through the portal and dumped into this damn world.
Feeling as if I managed to get far enough from Ty’s room, I leaned against the wall. My stomach whirled with anxiety. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn’t keep doing that to Ty. It wasn’t right of me.
I never once thought of myself as a tease, but I was coming perilously close to being just that. Sure, this time, it wasn’t my fault, and I had the intention of going all the way, but maybe it was time for me to relax and let things fall where they may. I’d been seeking out ways to distract myself too much. And Ty was getting the short end of the stick.
After that first time Ty trained me and had been all touchy, I’d resolved to keep my distance. That lasted a while, but it was the damn hormones that kept breaking down my walls. Then there was Roark. And the never-ending ball in the pit of my stomach I woke with every morning.
First, it had been a gentle kiss that fused me with comfort, and that took weeks to happen. But gradually, I’d been worn down by Ty’s body, patience, and comforting words.
Oh, and also the fact that I wanted to get Roark out of my head in any way possible. He was an incessant ache in my chest. I had to actively work not to think about him. I hated how he always snuck back into my brain.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so weak to give into Ty, but he knew where I stood. He knew I was broken and wanted nothing more than comfort.
My hearing focused on shuffling steps, and a curse sounded. I followed the noise of scrapping and cursing, surprised someone was roaming this late. Usually, the only ones up were guards or Fae up to illicit activities.
I crept around the corner and peeked. Long brown hair held in a braid came into sight. She was the slight girl I had seen that first day Ty took me to the lookout room. The one with unreciprocated love on her face. I’d seen her around since then, but she always had her head down. She was quiet and stuck to the background. But I often caught her gazing at the big guard who seemed only to see her as a bothersome relation. She’d introduced herself once in passing, but I couldn’t remember her name.
“I’ve seen you around,” I said, stepping out.
“Good for you,” the female voice snapped as she turned around defensively. When she realized who I was, she nervously straightened and placed an object behind her back. “Oh, my Queen.” She looked behind me and, not seeing anyone there, frowned.
“Call me Rae, please.” The first month, it had been hell repeating myself, but eventually, I got most of everyone to call me Rae. I didn’t need that to stop, especially since it made me feel all sorts of uncomfortable.
She dipped her head in response.
“I forgot your name.” A blush stained my cheeks as I asked the question sheepishly.
“Gracelyn.”
I’d learned plenty about the Fae in my time here, but it still struck me as odd that last names didn’t exist in their culture. I tilted my head to get a better view of what she was hiding. “Are those knives?” Gracelyn met my eyes, and the truth reflected in her embarrassed gaze. “What are you doing at this time of night with knives?”
“Please, don’t tell anyone I was out.”
From what I knew about her, she looked after the guards’ weapons, cleaning and polishing them daily, while Cybel managed the house. Gracelyn and her redheaded friend, I thought her name was Lilith, were charged with the guards’ accommodations. It explained why I saw them that first day with the clothes. And from what I’d seen, Lilith took that job to a whole other level.
Her eyes flicked to the side, and she tensed, looking ready to bolt.
“Who are you hiding from?” I made sure my voice was hushed as I stared at her, waiting for her to spill.
She sighed and pursed her lips before talking. “I have to be sure to train during certain hours.” At my encouraging look, she slumped and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. She dropped her arms to the side, and the forearm-length daggers came into view. “I like training… but the guards, okay, a guard is not keen about it.” I couldn’t help but scoff. She smiled at the look on my face. “I know, ridiculous.”
“Is it ‘cuz you’re a girl?” As soon as the words passed my lips, I knew that couldn’t be the case. Sabine was in the guard.
“Partly. They think I need to stick to what my body was built for. Added to that, they think I’m too weak to be a guard.” Bitterness edged her words, and it roused the feminist in me.
Considering this little society in Faerie was stuck in time when there was last magic, the gender roles made sense. It was another little tidbit of information I’d gained from Ty’s and Cora’s incessant lessons when I wasn’t spaced out.
“Who’s the guard?”
“Flynn. He’s the Second.”
My expression twisted. What? “And Rian is the First.”
“He is. Flynn is his apprentice and takes his place whenever Rian is gone, which is often.” She gave me a pointed look. Wow, I was seriously selfish. So involved in my head that I hadn’t paid attention to the power structure the Fae adhered to. “This is the time he’s… otherwise occupied.” A bitterness crossed her expression. “The guard assigned to the surroundings of the castle grounds is a sort of friend,
