The choice was impossible.
I hung my head. I had to protect her. That had always been my role. She was my little sister, and although I’d let fear make my priorities skewed in the last few years, I couldn’t let her down. Her life was on the line.
He must have sensed when I came to the cruel acceptance because he nodded with a satisfied jerk of his head and strode toward the portal a few feet from us.
“Stop!” I yelled.
Roark froze but didn’t turn to look at me. I grabbed the edges of his coat with my free hand and desperately pressed my lips against his. He walked us backward, and the chill of the portal shivered over me, but I could hardly feel it with the heat of his lips searing me.
The freezing subsided, and we were once again in Faerie.
26
His palms gripped my face, and he stared down at me with such heartbreak. A shudder worked its way through my body.
“We must finish this for your sister.” Those lavender depths told me a story in that brief moment. But what called my attention most was the unmistakable longing in his gaze. It spoke to the feeling inside me that I hadn’t shaken since I’d laid eyes on him at the castle. Hell, even before then. I longed for him for so long and in that second, I saw his need and yearning for me. A shudder rolled through me and regret filled my soul.
It didn’t mean everything we’d been through—everything he’d done—would be forgotten. But I wished he had the opportunity to make it up to me.
“We had a rough beginning.” I cleared my throat, restarting. “But I will miss you. I was supposed to be yours.” Tears prickled my eyes. God, I’d become such a crybaby.
“Rae,” he said, leaning down so his lips brushed mine. “You will always be mine.”
He bent down and took my mouth, devouring me. I moaned at the feel of his skillful lips cajoling mine open. He was gentler than he’d ever been, as if he touched the delicate petals of a flower. Wetness escaped the corner of my eyes and trickled down the side of my cheek. He brushed away the trail, and I blinked my sight back into focus.
Roark gazed at me tenderly. “Just one more step and you’ll be free of me.”
Time had run out. I wondered how many days had already passed in the human world considering that time moved differently here in Faerie. More tears pressed at the back of my eyes at this fucked up world I’d found myself in.
It was time to save the Fae. It was second to saving my sisters, but it had also been a promise I’d made.
“What’s wrong with Annie?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” I rasped, fiddling with the handle of the dagger.
“Gargoyle-induced deterioration. Gradually, it will make her lose function of each part of her body until her heart stops.” Grabbing my arms, he pulled me to him. “My goal had always been to help my race. To save them from extinction.”
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes together, his proximity wreaking havoc on my brain. I better understood the duty he felt for his people. With my sister on the precipice of death, I felt like I was being torn apart.
“Isn’t there another way? Maybe you can call in another debt with your connections. I-I mean—”
“Rae,” Roark bit out, expression hardening. “Stop being foolish. You are trying to hold on to me, but even if I live, we would never work out.” My stomach dropped, and he must have sensed the horror I felt because he looked away. “I would never be faithful to you. I enjoy… variety too much.”
He was tearing my insides apart. He gripped my hand on the dagger, and the blade slid into his chest.
What was happening? I must have been having an out of body experience. Disbelief ran through me rampantly as I remembered what he had shown me. His words were not computing with his actions. I shook my head.
“You don’t mean it,” I rasped from my tight throat. The pitying look he gave me made my self-doubt rise and ultimately win out.
I’d almost let myself forget. I was always second best.
He curled my stiff hand around the hard hilt. Tears blurred my vision. Even though he didn’t want me, he was still a part of me.
“I would have been an awful mate. This is the only way I can think to repay you for my failure. You have to kill me. Make sure of it. Like I told you, magic is fickle, and it demands its due.”
I nodded wordlessly as pressure built in my chest. I found myself swallowing more and more as I gripped the hilt. He pushed my hand, forcing the dagger into his flesh. He quickly cut off his hiss, stifling his pain for me.
With a sob, I pushed one more time.
27
My ears rang as a bellow exploded around me. “No!”
The next thing I knew, my body was flung to the side, and I landed on the other side of the clearing like a rag doll. I coughed and sat up, favoring the side I’d landed on.
“Roark?” I blinked and tried to make sense of what was in front of me. Of who was in front of me. The one thing I wanted to kill.
“What are you doing?” Sabine gritted out, crouching in front of Roark with daggers in each hand, defending him… from me.
Roark disappeared from sight, but not before I saw his shock. With my Fae vision, I was able to barely keep up with his quick movement until he appeared in front of me. He reached his hand down, gaze boring into Sabine as he pulled me to my feet. The cold expression
