But there was something about facing death that made Mari want to treasure every bit of life while she had the chance. She would make sure she had no regrets over how she’d lived her life at the end. Caring for people—even surly dowagers—made her feel needed. As though she actually served a purpose here on Earth.
She rubbed her stomach as she remembered her true purpose.
To love her husband and child for as long as she drew breath.
…
“I feel sorry for the dowager,” Mari told Cam a few days after the witch had been settled in her rooms.
Cam’s eyes widened. “You must be joking.”
“No.”
“Then ye have the kindest heart imaginable, to care for someone so prickly.” He kissed the top of her head, knowing his words were true.
“I think she is deliberately mean. It’s her way of keeping people at a distance so she doesn’t have a chance to care about them.”
Cam thought about it and realized Mari might be right. No one could be that hideous unless they were trying hard to be. “Or mayhap she’s just a miserable crow, as I’ve said.”
“No doubt we’re both correct. But my guess is she wasn’t born this way. People seldom are. I think she grew to be this way from experiencing constant hurt and disappointment. I know her son, the late duke, never treated her well. The new duke, Richard, doesn’t seem to want her around, either.”
“Can you blame them? I think you may be putting the chicken before the egg. Mayhap they didn’t like her because she’s a miserable crow, rather than she became a miserable crow because they didn’t like her. You see?” Cam held out his hands to make his point, earning a laugh from his wife.
“Still, a little kindness on our part might help her see she doesn’t need to be nasty with us. That she’s safe. Maybe once she realizes it, she’ll be nicer.”
“We have been forced to live here, so I’ll do my best not to cause you distress by fighting with the old crow. But I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect friendly conversations between me and the dowager. She hates me as much for where I’m from as for who I am.”
“You get enjoyment from pestering the woman, Cam, and I’m asking you to stop.”
He dropped the innocent smile on his face, since it hadn’t served him well, and reluctantly agreed to stop antagonizing the biddy. Though it was a rare bit of entertainment in this place.
“Fine. I’ll relent.”
“Thank you. Now, why don’t you bring her down so she might eat with us this evening?”
He stood and bowed. “Certainly, wife.”
He left the room and went upstairs. After knocking on the door twice before he entered, without a word he went to the dowager’s bed and picked her up.
“What are you about?” she complained in alarm and squirmed in his arms like a slippery pig.
“I’m taking ye downstairs so you can sit at the table and eat like the civilized lady you are.”
“Put me down at once!”
Of course he did no such thing but instead carried her down to the dining room so they could share a meal together. He didn’t do it just because his wife had asked it of him, though that would have been reason enough. He did it because he understood why a person might want to wrap themselves in bitterness and not allow anyone else to enter.
When his Mari was gone, he could see how such a refuge might offer him protection from those who wanted to force him to move on when he didn’t wish to.
He was in a perfect position to become just like the dowager. He only hoped if he did give in to the pain and anger, someone would try to help him find his way back to life.
The days turned into weeks. He and Mari visited the dowager daily so she wasn’t alone all day. She wasn’t much for conversation, but she thanked him each time when he left.
Eventually she was well enough to leave her bed and regularly join them for dinner. Sometimes she’d even stay as they sat next to the roaring fire enjoying an evening together. She always said it was because of the warmth, but he thought it was a different kind of warmth that drew her.
“Tomorrow is Christmas,” he said to test the waters a few days later.
As expected, the dowager’s head shot up and her eyes went wide. “You can’t possibly think to celebrate in this house.”
Cam chuckled at having prodded a response from her. “I’m an unwanted war chief married to a murderess. Do you not think I’d risk Cromwell’s rule to ensure a good pudding?” He laughed harder when she just glared at him.
“While it’s true there’s to be no public celebration for the holiday, you must be aware that every house on the block is secretly planning private festivities,” Mari said. “Even the duke demanded goose for dinner on Christmas Day.”
“I forbid it.” The dowager went back to cutting her food into the tiniest of pieces. Cam wondered if she even had a need to chew.
He said nothing else. He planned to do as he wished, regardless. As for ordering the meal, if he and Mari had to stay in their room to eat it, he didn’t see that as such a terrible idea. Having her near a bed was always his favorite thing.
But Mari was upset. While she was not usually one to push things with the dowager, she did this time. “I plan to have a proper Christmas meal and share stories in front of the fire tomorrow,” she declared resolutely. “If it’s my last holiday on earth, I’ll bloody well celebrate it the way I see fit. What will they do? Hang me?”
Cam couldn’t help but smile at her joke. He loved to see his wife all afire. She’d spent too many years being subdued. The fact that she felt safe enough to rant in her displeasure
