His hands were raised in a nonthreatening manner as he stepped closer.
She looked at him aghast. “I wouldn’t hurt this child.”
“You don’t seem to like bairns all that much, especially ones spawned by two Scots.”
The dowager made a noise that would have been a snort if it weren’t coming from someone so aristocratic.
“I don’t care who her parents are. She’s an angel.” The dowager rocked the babe and smiled down at the infant in her arms.
Cam relaxed a little, though still a trifle wary. “I have to be honest and say it’s because she looks like me.”
“Arrogant wretch,” the dowager said without her usual bite of distaste.
“I think she is the most beautiful babe ever created,” he said, serious now.
“By Scots,” the dowager amended.
His jaw dropped. “Did you just make a joke, Your Grace?”
“Aye,” she answered, using his own word.
He laughed and stepped closer, completely at ease now. When she made to hand Lizzy over to him, he shook his head. “Go ahead, if it pleases you.” He even pulled the rocking chair over from the corner so she could sit. “Does your foot still bother you?”
“It’s much improved. Thank you.” She sat and rocked the baby with a stiff smile on her lips. She wanted to say something else. He could tell. It was the time of night one needed to unload worries and often sought out a place of peace to leave them.
“Is something bothering you?” he asked.
“I think you have enough worries of your own than to take on mine, as well.”
“I need a rest from my own. I canna do anything for them.”
“I’m sorry this is happening. I wish now I’d done more.” Her face softened with sadness and regret.
Cam understood. She probably thought she might have helped her son if she’d known of his problems. It was Cam’s experience that some people were inherently evil and couldn’t be helped.
“You didn’t know.”
“That’s just it. I did know.” She frowned. “I once had a daughter named Elizabeth.”
Startled, he cocked his head at her. “Is that so? I wonder why Mari didn’t mention it when we chose the name.”
The dowager pushed out a shaky breath. “She didn’t know. My daughter died many years ago.”
A prick of sympathy went through him. “I’m sorry. Mari’s sister lost a babe once, and it haunts them still.”
“Children have so many things stacked against them. It’s a parent’s job to protect them. That’s why I’m the one to blame for my Eliza’s death.”
He studied her thoughtfully. He’d never before seen such emotion touch her expression as now. “I doubt that’s true,” he said kindly. “I think we often take on more guilt than we’ve truly earned.”
She shook her head. “Sometimes. But not in this case.”
She seemed to want to tell her story, so he gave her the opportunity. “What happened?”
She was silent for a long moment, then she began in a voice thick with emotion, “After having five boys, my husband and I were blessed with a girl. Her older brothers doted over her. She was their princess, always cheerful and happy. But when she reached about ten, she became quiet. Not having experience with little girls, I thought it normal. But nothing about the situation was normal. It was only a few months after her eleventh birthday that I found out she was with child.”
Cam gasped in shock. “Good lord. I’m so sorry,” he said, knowing his words were inadequate. He almost hoped she wouldn’t finish the story. There could be no happy ending for this beastly tale.
“Of course I made her tell me who had touched her. I expected her to name a servant or a visitor. I would never have guessed it to be her own brother. Mathias was nineteen, heir to the dukedom.”
Mathias. Cam had never heard the duke’s given name before.
The dowager paused to gather herself, and Cam was grateful for the moment to put his thoughts together.
Good God. Mari’s former husband had defiled his own sister. A mere child. Cam knew the man had been a monster, but he’d never realized he was this vile. Not just cruel and violent, but truly depraved.
The dowager’s eyes closed. “We needed to do everything possible to mitigate the scandal and protect Eliza. I sent her off to our country house while I stayed behind to deal with my son. My husband wanted him charged. I wanted to protect my daughter, and I knew a trial would end with her ruined and no real punishment for Mathias. He was a future duke, after all. So I forbade it.”
Cam remembered the scars on Mari’s breasts, and how she’d told him her husband didn’t like her body, saying her breasts were too large. He’d been unable to perform. He hadn’t liked her body because it belonged to a woman, and he was attracted to—
Cam swallowed down bile and once again wished the sick bastard had still been alive so he could bloody his sword on him. Surely there was a special hell for that kind of beast.
The dowager continued with an unsteady voice. “I sent Eliza away with one of the maids. When I arrived at the estate a day later, I learned my little girl had fallen over the second-floor banister and died.”
The old woman didn’t cry. No doubt she’d cried endless tears over the years and had finally made what peace she could from the scraps of truth. Cam felt great sorrow for her. It made sense now why she’d built those thick walls around herself. Holding a foul secret like this inside for all these years would eat away at a person’s soul.
But a small part of Cam wished she’d done things differently. If she’d allowed her son to be arrested and charged, maybe Mari would have been spared her ordeal.
He understood the dowager had done what was needed to protect her family.
In the end, at the expense of
