Once she’s gone, I do breathe easier, even calming enough to get the nurse to leave as well. When we’re alone, I turn back to Hadley. My breathing is still labored; my heart still pounds in my chest, but at least I’m functioning again. “Please, Hadley. Please give me your phone.”
She sighs and casts one more agonized look at the door before reaching into her bag. “Just... he might not answer, Gen.”
“What?”
Her eyes soften with sympathy and sadness as she pulls something up on the screen and hands it to me.
A string of headlines stares back at me. I almost choke at the first few, and they only get worse the further down I get. The tears rush back, a deep ache blooming in my chest. It’s everything I can do not to vomit at the pain he must be experiencing right now. What have I done to him?
“They spun everything to make it look like it was his fault. He’s the reason for your strange behavior lately. Your downfall, as everyone’s calling it. They said you’re seeking a restraining order because he’s violent and manipulative.”
“A restraining order?” It comes out as a whisper, my entire body numb. No. No, no. The air siphons from the room again. Oliver? Violent and manipulative? He’s the sweetest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. He supported me when the rest of the world exploited me. Saw me when they ignored me. He’s the hero and I’m the villain in this story, and suddenly I’m filled with rage. At my mother and her lies, yes. But also at myself and my disgusting phantom life that I allowed to rule me for so long. It took the most beautiful human the universe could create and violated him. Abused him. Exposed him to the ugliest of the ugly and laughed as he fell. As I fell. Yes, they’re all laughing because the higher the throne the more thrilling the view when idols crash toward you.
My hand shakes as I find his name in her contacts. He called her earlier I see. “What did he say when you talked to him?”
“I didn’t.” Hadley looks guilty as she lowers her eyes. “I missed the initial calls and your mother said she’d make sure I was fired or worse if I got involved. I didn’t want to get separated from you, especially now, so I didn’t call him back. I’m sorry, Gen. I should have, though. I know that now. I just…” Her gaze lifts to me as she searches my eyes. “I’m scared because I don’t know how to help you this time. Everyone keeps talking about your downfall, but that’s not what I see. I’ve seen the opposite over these last few weeks. I’m not sure what’s going on with you exactly, but I like who you’ve been. I like how you light up when Oliver’s around. You’re calmer, stronger. I love that you’ve been in your studio, that you’re sneaking Joel into the house at all hours of the night. I don’t know what any of it means, but I like that I’ve stopped walking on eggshells, waiting for our glass house to shatter. You were about to break before Oliver. You know that, right? I saw it after every show, every interview. You were hanging by a thread, and I feared at any moment we’d lose you. But it’s like you can breathe again. You’ve been… I don’t know… free?”
I blink back emotion as I study her. I’ve known Hadley since I was a child. We met at a birthday party and she was the only one who didn’t treat me like I was different. I’ve always felt like I was encased in plastic wrap. No matter how close I tried to get to someone, there was a layer separating us, a filter I didn’t understand, especially as a child. Hadley made me feel visible, and I realize Oliver’s pull is the same. I can breathe around them because for a brief period I don’t have to perform. I can be me, the girl in the mirror. Am I strong enough to figure out who that person is and let her live the rest of my life in place of the plastic-wrap girl? I don’t know, but with Hadley and Oliver by my side, I know I’m strong enough to try.
“Come here,” I say quietly.
Hadley hesitates before pushing up from her chair and approaching the bed. “I’m sorry, Genevieve. I know—”
I cut her off as I grip her arm and pull her in for a hug. “I love you, Had,” I say softly. “You’re the only person who’s always been there for me. I know I don’t tell you enough, but you’re not an employee. You’re my best friend.”
We hold on for several seconds, and I let her warmth soak into me. I draw as much strength as I can because I’m going to need it to fix the other relationship I need in my life. When we pull back, her eyes are red-rimmed, and I catch the swift wipe at them.
“I’ve never seen you cry before,” I say with a hint of amusement.
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not crying. It’s this dry hospital air.”
I chuckle. “Okay. Sure.”
“You tell a soul about this, I will dye your hair green while you sleep.”
I cross my finger over my heart, suppressing a laugh.
She rolls her eyes again. “I’m gonna check out the vending machines. You want anything?”
“Yes, please. I’m starving.”
“Good. You need to eat. Tell Oliver I say hi.”
My smile fades when she disappears. It’s just past six in the morning, probably a bad time to call him. Would he even take my call? Maybe not, but he might answer Hadley. Even if he hangs up the second he learns it’s me, it will be worth it. Just hearing his voice… my chest constricts at the thought of his soothing tone. Gosh, if
