Instead I waved my hand in an attempt at staying cool and said, “Oh, it was total coincidence. Don’t even think about it. I was just in the right place at the right time.”
“Please be so good as to listen to what I have to say. We shall be traveling back in time a couple of hundred years, to the Edo period.”
“The Edo period . . . ?”
And just like that, she began to tell me about her life. You know how in period dramas and TV programs from way back when, one of the characters launches into the story of their entire life? Well, it was just like that.
“That’s right. After losing both my mother and my father to a terrible disease sweeping our village at the time, a relative attempted to marry me off to a certain gentleman, whom I did not desire to marry. When I stated my refusal in no uncertain terms, the gentleman took it upon himself to end my life, and then hurled my body into the river. Ever since, I lay outstretched on the riverbed, undiscovered by a single soul. As the months and days passed, many of my bones were swept away to heaven knows where.”
“What? But that’s awful! That’s . . . that’s completely unacceptable!”
I started to feel unbearably sorry for this ghost standing in front of me. What a bastard that guy was! I mean, he should’ve been locked up! And that relative of hers, too! Fuck! Marriage lasts a lifetime; it’s not just something you can foist on people like that. You have to start considering other people’s feelings a bit more.
“Well, yes, but . . .” Seeing my eyes widening in horror, the ghost lady tilted her head to one side, looking a little pained. Then she went on. “Well, anyway, that is what happened, and that is why I have come to thank you. It would be a great honor if you would let me serve you, as your chambermaid.”
“My chambermaid . . . ?”
I didn’t really know what she was going on about, but I knew that the present situation was untenable. I had the woman strip off her tattered, muddied kimono and then, seeing that her body was equally filthy, I decided to escort her to the bathroom and wash her down. When I picked up her kimono and saw the great gash running down the length of its back, I shook with anger. “Die, you samurai moron!” I hissed. “Yeah, you! I know you’re already dead, but I want you to die again! Painfully!” It seemed like the greatest injustice in the world that a guy that evil was peaceably dead already.
“What’s your name?” I asked the woman as I lathered up her hair. She bowed her head, as if she felt embarrassed to have so much attention lavished on her. There were great clumps of dirt enmeshed in her locks, and it was no mean feat to get them out. This is all your fault, you stupid fucking samurai. If you’ve been reincarnated then hurry the fuck up and die now, in your contemporary incarnation.
“My name is Hina.”
“Hina-chan? Wow, that’s a nice name. I’m Shigemi. People often tell me it’s kind of old-fashioned.”
“Lady Shigemi.”
“Oh, Shigemi-chan is just fine.”
“Right . . . Shigemi-chan . . .”
When I think back now to those first hours Hina-chan and I spent together, I explained to Yoshi, I feel ticklish with self-consciousness and pleasure. How awkward and faltering it all was! Hardly knowing a thing about each other, we both tried in our own way to get acquainted—just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. What a beautiful thing it is when love begins to blossom.
“So basically, you’re telling me you fished a skeleton from the river, and then a ghost appeared?” Yoshi summarized bluntly.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. He who speaks of ghosts and expects to be believed is nought but a fool, and all that. But the truth was, my love for Hina-chan had taken away any fear I might previously have had about what Yoshi might say on the matter.
“Not just any old ghost, you know. Hina-chan’s smart, and she’s incredibly sexy. She’s amazing.”
I puffed myself up as if to say, I’m not to be made fun of. Then I picked up my mug of chūhai and downed it. He who speaks of love must do so with courage. My attitude had to say, If you’re not going to believe me, then begone!
“Well, it sounds like you’ve found yourself quite the girlfriend.”
Maybe Yoshi was too drunk to care about the truth of my claims, or maybe he never had any intention of believing me, but in any case, he didn’t challenge a single thing I said. He simply went along with it.
“Yep, she’s really something.” I felt immensely proud. It was all true, after all. Hina-chan really was incredible.
“I wish I could find myself a woman like that.” Saying that, Yoshi slumped his head on the table.
He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes with the moist hand towel. Without his glasses, Yoshi immediately became more anonymous-looking. He kind of reminded me of the noppera-bō, the faceless ghost from old stories. Each time I saw this faceless face of his, I felt a twinge of guilt, as if I’d glimpsed something I shouldn’t have. Here was a man born to wear glasses if anyone was. He’d once confided to me that when he took his glasses off to have sex, the other person would look at him suspiciously as if to say, Who the hell is this guy? I could imagine that to be the case. Not that it really mattered to me one way or another.
“Well then, maybe you should try fishing too!” I said. “Although I mean, what happened with me and Hina-chan was pure fate. I really can’t imagine that happening very often.”
“So you see,
