Jade was hunched over as well, mainly to catch her breath, but the position also opportunely hid her distress. The pain she was feeling began at her heels, extended through her hamstrings, and shot all the way through to her forearms. She must’ve been clenching her fists during the run without even knowing.
“Jade,” Lauren panted, “why…are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing what?”
“This.” Lauren gestured with a hand. “Trying so hard…it isn’t necessary, really.”
“Okay, first off,” Jade barked between breaths, feeling confronted, “I wasn’t trying hard. And, if I felt like it, I could…outrun you any day of the week.”
“I genuinely doubt that,” Lauren shot back crossly, “but that isn’t what I meant.”
“Then kindly clarify, if you would, please.”
“Gladly.” Lauren inhaled deeply. “It just seems like ever since that day at the range when we…connected, you’ve been making it a point to be wherever I am…like you’re looking for some way to get close to me or you’re trying to figure me out. If it’s inadvertent, I apologize for assuming or even bringing it up, but it doesn’t feel that way, especially after today…and after this.”
“Wow,” Jade wheezed, “you really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you? No word filter whatsoever, same as him.” A pause. “If you’re implying that I’m stalking you, fret not, young one. Not once in my life have I ever been a nuisance or a busybody. I’m a private person and I respect privacy. If I’m around when you are, it’s not…fully intentional. I just…” She trailed off, hand to her throbbing chest, candor on the edge of her tongue. “Dammit, Lauren, I don’t know anyone here…and no one knows me. I don’t know where I fit in or if…I ever will. But I’m trying. Christ…I’ve been beating my brains out trying so hard, I haven’t gotten anywhere, and I have no idea as to why. In my time here, the only person with whom I’ve come remotely close to relating is you. And you…you’re like some enigmatic, sharper, way prettier rendering of me with the same determination and attitude—half my damn age.” A pause. “I’m still the new girl; no one knows me or trusts me or seems interested in deviating from that. And it hasn’t been easy to accept, but it’s the hand I was dealt. I’ve just been…lonely, that’s all. Just lonely. But don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll keep my distance if that’s what you want.”
Lauren looked to the sky, sighed, and plopped down on the road, bearing in mind the shitty way she was going about this. She’d been bestowed a bout of lonesomeness of her own, and now, she felt like a heel. “No, that isn’t what I want. I’m sorry, Jade, this is all coming out wrong. I was just trying to get to the bottom of something I didn’t understand. After you got here and we talked, I resolved to give you the benefit of the doubt, and I’m not doing it. Believe me, I know what being lonely feels like. I’m sorry for what I said.”
Jade regarded her younger counterpart a moment while catching her breath. “Apology accepted.” She hesitated. “I don’t presume to know what happened between you and your boyfriend, and it’s none of my business. Relationships can be…tough sometimes, but you don’t strike me as the type who lets other people get the better of you. I’m confident you’ll manage.”
“Yeah.”
Jade turned away, debating the difference between what she was willing to divulge versus how little she had to lose. “The isolation I’m feeling…it’s an unfamiliar one for me. It stems from something else entirely…something a little more…out of bounds.”
“What does that mean?” Lauren asked.
“It’s personal,” Jade said. “You have to keep it to yourself, every bit of it.”
“You have my word.”
Jade regarded her, then looked away, not knowing where to begin. “This isn’t easy to admit, especially to you. I…I miss talking to your dad.”
“Jesus,” Lauren blurted. “You were right. That is out of bounds.”
“Just hear me out, please. It’s not as straightforward as it sounds.”
Lauren didn’t say anything.
Jade exhaled loudly. “Before we got here, he was the only person I ever talked to, I mean really talked to, and I guess, in a lot of ways, I considered your dad my best friend. I never really had one of those before until he came around. I never wanted one, either, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. The son of a bitch made me talk to him. No matter how hard or how many times I pushed him away, he just kept coming at me, refusing to let me clam up. It was so strange; I found the more I talked and opened up to him, the more I liked doing it and looked forward to the next opportunity.
“At first I was reluctant, but I ended up telling him literally everything about me…things about my past…things I never told anyone else before,” Jade continued. “He never once judged me, not one damn time, and there’s a lot about me begging to be picked apart. Before his accident, there wasn’t much about me he didn’t know.” She sighed. “It’s completely different now. I can’t have those conversations with him anymore, and it’s…bothersome. He’s home now, back where he belongs with you and with Grace and your mother, where he should be. And that leaves no room for me. It’s left me hanging, and I’m having a tough time with it…guess I never saw this coming.”
Lauren folded her arms and tilted her head, still holding back from saying anything.
The sound of an approaching ATV caught the women’s attention. They rotated north, spotting a blonde woman, wearing a flowing antique white sundress, riding toward them on a muddied, red Polaris ATV, her incredibly long matted hair whipping around wildly in the breeze. They moved out of the way to allow her to pass, only to have her stop between them and shut off
