He is. You know he is. They are friends.
Maybe not. I mean, I knew they were friends. But maybe he was different. I could try to trust him. I could try. Momma was trying by getting a job. I could try by giving Aaron a chance.
He stood. “Where are you going?”
Answer, mouth. “To work.” A birdlike feeling fluttered in my stomach when I said those words. I relaxed a little. “I’m going to work in the library.”
“Oh yeah? You have a job there?” Aaron said. “Cool.”
“Yes. Cool.” It was cool. I pulled up my backpack and scooted around a little to loosen my legs from the seat. They were stuck from the humidity and heat, even though air-conditioning filled the bus with a soft hum. I was embarrassed to leave two wet prints shaped like triangles behind. Maybe Aaron wouldn’t notice.
The bus slowed with a squeal. I stood. If I didn’t look back, he might not see my sweat. There was so much to worry about. So much. No wonder Momma couldn’t handle this. Too many things. Lots of them icky. Aaron came up close behind me, bumping into me as the bus braked.
“I love you,” the Tattoo Guy said, his voice riding up to where I stood.
It felt like my eyeballs bulged from my head, like a cartoon character’s.
“Shut the eff up,” Aaron said. Only he said the real swear, the real word. Now my eyes did bulge.
Wicked. He’s wicked.
“Just ignore him,” Aaron said. “What’s your name?” He stood close to me. Close enough that I could feel the rough top of his board on my arm.
I didn’t answer. As soon as the doors opened I hurried from the bus, stepping into heavy air that smelled of salt and water. The sun felt good on my face. I closed my eyes and people stepped off the bus around me.
If today was going to be a good day, a different day, then I had to make it that way, bad words, Tattoo Guys and all. Opening my eyes, I squinted in the light.
“Lacey,” I said.
“Huh?”
“My name. It’s Lacey.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”
I looked toward the library almost glowing in the Florida heat.
He knows, he knows! He’s one of them.
“Then why did you ask?”
“So you’d tell me.”
“What?” I tossed my hair over my shoulder. It fell like a heated blanket on my back. “Why would you do that?”
He shrugged, looked down at the sidewalk, then back at me. “Just wanted a reason to say something. Asking your name seemed good enough.”
“Even though you knew it?”
He leaned toward me some. I made sure not to step away, not to flinch. “It was an excuse, Lacey,” he said. “An excuse to talk to you.”
“Oh.” He wanted to talk to me? Me? The bus roared away, leaving behind its dirty smell. I stood there staring at Aaron. My heart thumped.
The sun made the air seem full of foil-reflecting brightness. I needed to get inside. I needed to start working. Help people. Work long enough to stop my worry of Momma. Maybe even relive this conversation with Aaron who seemed nice. Nice to me.
Maybe, I thought, maybe summer was going to mean lots of wonderful things. A job, Momma working, and a friend of my own. Maybe Aaron didn’t know a thing about us. Maybe he had missed it all.
“I better go,” I said after soaking in the sun a moment or two more. “I don’t want to be late.”
Aaron moved up next to me. “How long are you working, Lacey?”
Behind us traffic moved toward the beach. A horn blared. A salty breeze blew in from the water. I could hear the cry of seagulls.
Answer, Lacey, answer!
“About four hours,” I said. I backed toward the steps of the library. “I better go in.”
Aaron stood still, watching me. “Okay, bye,” he said. He didn’t move.
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
“Sounds good.” Still, he didn’t move.
I stopped on the library steps.
“See ya,” he said. Then he spun around and walked off down MacClenny toward the big tree park, where ancient magnolias had grown so huge the limbs had to be propped up with metal poles.
I let out a huge breath of air. A good thing! This was a good thing! I felt—powerful. I marched myself (with power) toward the library where I’d dust videos (with power) and help old ladies reach novels off the top shelves (with power) and clean candy off the covers of books (with even more power and maybe some elbow grease). At least that’s what I thought I’d be doing. Whatever my job might be, my day would only get better.
I’d gone up four steps and was almost inside when I heard Aaron call, “Hey, Lacey? I’ll ride back with you. On the bus.”
I shielded my eyes to look at him, not sure what to say. “Okay.”
“Okay.” Aaron grinned at me.
I grinned, too. Aaron waved a little. Then threw his board onto the ground, ran after it, jumped on and rode away. The wheels made click-click sounds on the sidewalk.
For several moments, again, I stood in the heat of the day. I faced the sun. Today was a wonderful day. A terrific day. It was going to be different.
“You are gonna make it, Lacey,” I said.
I climbed the rest of the stairs, my face feeling strange for all the smiling I’d done in the last few minutes. I stopped long enough to pet the huge marble lion that pawed at air. Then I went into the library.
V
That first whiff of the library sent me straight back to Aunt Linda. I almost expected her to come from behind a stack of books like that had been her hiding place for the last year. Almost expected her to say, “I was just kidding when I left, Lacey.” Or, “I’ve been here all along. Right
