I loved every inch of her. “I need your wisdom.”
“Yeah, you do. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. That’s the problem in a nutshell. Ever’body fakin’ somethin’.”
I wanted to hug her, but she started striding around and her bosoms were bouncing so ferociously that I didn’t risk getting too close. “Can you help me?” I asked.
“This is what I learned in all these years on this earth. If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them go. Deliver that message, please.”
That was sound advice, but not particularly helpful. “Jitty, get rid of those big ta-tas before you put my eye out.” She was jumping around and I feared for the safety of my vision.
She whipped a knife out of the folds of her dress. “I will shank you, fool! Back away!” she said. “Just back away.”
I couldn’t help it. I had to laugh. I loved Madea, and in this terrible moment in time, I so needed a good laugh. “Jitty, cut it out.”
“You know I only go to church for two reasons, weddings and funerals. Which one we gonna have today?”
Even though I didn’t want to, I laughed. “Stop it, Jitty. Folks will think I’m out here in the swamp laughing about a drowned woman. They’ll put me in an institution.”
“When you go off in a dangerous swamp looking for people, remember this. Stop editing your pictures on that ridiculous Facebook. What if you go missing? How you expect us to find you if you look like Beyoncé on Facebook and like Linda Blair playing Regan in real life?”
“Please stop!” I had to control myself because Jitty was going to get me in a world of hurt. “Do you know where Kathleen is?”
Madea slowly started to fade, and in her place was a beautiful woman with dark curls and a wistful expression. “I don’t know where she is,” Jitty said. “And if I did, I couldn’t tell you.”
“Has she crossed over?” I pressed. I was genuinely worried about Kathleen, and the idea of her stuck somewhere on the riverbank, dying of hypothermia—thanks for that image, Cece—was more than I could bear thinking about.
Jitty shook her head. “Not sayin’.”
“Would you tell me if you could?” I was curious if some of this was Jitty’s obstinacy or if the rules were that rigid in the Great Beyond.
“It is what it is, Sarah Booth. No amount of askin’ and whinin’ is going to change anything.”
“So what prompted your appearance as Madea?”
“Your chin was draggin’ the ground, and any minute you were gonna step on it. I had to make you laugh.”
And she had done that. “I have to get up to the docks. I’m concerned about Coleman, too. He went in that river to save Clarissa. I need to find him and make sure he isn’t hurt.”
“Warm that man up, Sarah Booth. You know how to do it, don’t you?” Slowly she began to return to her Madea form and her body was doing things that might make me go blind if I kept looking.
“Stop!”
“You lock those legs around your man and you hang on like you a cowgirl! Hallelujer! Ride that bronco!”
With the jinglejangle of some spurs, Jitty disappeared. I heaved a sigh of relief. Sometimes she just wore me out.
I trudged back to the dock. There was no sign of Kathleen from any of the other searchers. Cece texted me that she had caught a ride back to the B and B. She’d checked on Coleman, who said he was fine and would meet me soon. There was nothing else we could do in the dark. Tomorrow, we’d volunteer to search more.
Good ole Rex was there waiting to whisk us back to the B and B. I had to leave my clothes in the trunk and wrap up in a blanket before I was allowed in the car, which I actually found reasonable. I stank. Oscar, Tinkie, Millie, Harold, and Jaytee were pretty glum as we loaded into the limo. This was not going to be a lot of fun with Darla.
16
The evening at the B and B was a sad affair. While Darla insisted on making a late supper for us, no one really had an appetite to appreciate her efforts. But working in the kitchen kept her hands busy and thoughts of Kathleen in the background. Worry for her friend was clear on her face.
Tinkie signaled me out of the parlor and onto a side porch. “Do you think Kathleen is dead?” she asked. “I didn’t want to ask in front of the others. I don’t want to crush their hope.”
“She probably is.” I told her about the boat tracks in the mud. “But Jerry said it was a boat going into the water, not coming back to shore. As far as I know, that’s the only thing anyone found. If she’s still in the water, hypothermia will probably get her.” I didn’t mention the alligator that I’d seen. Tinkie didn’t need those gruesome images. “Did Darla say if Kathleen was a strong swimmer?”
Tinkie sat on the balustrade and slumped. “I heard her tell the deputies that Kathleen could swim, but that she wasn’t a great swimmer.” She inhaled sharply. “Clarissa managed to stay afloat until Coleman got her out. Why couldn’t it have been Kathleen instead?”
I felt the same way. “Speaking of Coleman, he texted and said he was on the way from the hospital.” I was eager to see him. “Maybe he has new information for us.”
Tinkie shivered, whether from the cold or her own thoughts, I didn’t know. We returned inside. Everyone had huddled in the parlor, where Darla had a roaring fire going. She did her best to play the perfect hostess, but her red-rimmed eyes and sniffles let us all know she was in distress over her friend.
“Why don’t I make a pitcher of martinis?” I suggested. I, too, needed something to do to keep my
